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Loud housemates

Context: Fell out with a housemate before uni started. Didn’t bother me as it wasn’t a big deal until I was being treated really weirdly about it. We quashed it but no one in the house has ever asked for my view and when we did quash it she was telling me thing I did that couldn’t have happened. so I’ve just tried to watch myself since.

They woke me up screaming at 3am this isn’t the first time that’s happened. I’ve never gotten a proper apology before. The last time it happened it’s because they saw a ‘ghost’ and I am supposed to accept that?? This time I shut the door but I accidentally slammed it because hey I’m half asleep and they started screaming more so I shouted at them to shut up and then went to wash my face. I was waken up abruptly in my sleep so I know I’m not getting back to sleep but they all started texting me having a go at me for shouting at them. I don’t get why I should feel bad for them when they woke me up, have done it previously and will do it again. Then someone else in the gc who doesn’t live there started texting me saying they are respectful I shouldn’t have shouted. I have a whole list of stuff they have done to me I don’t think they are respectful at all. I’ve woken up with my heart pounding cus I’m scared and yet I am the problem. Help me understand please

Reply 1

StaffsVeronika

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Original post

by Anonymous

Context: Fell out with a housemate before uni started. Didn’t bother me as it wasn’t a big deal until I was being treated really weirdly about it. We quashed it but no one in the house has ever asked for my view and when we did quash it she was telling me thing I did that couldn’t have happened. so I’ve just tried to watch myself since.
They woke me up screaming at 3am this isn’t the first time that’s happened. I’ve never gotten a proper apology before. The last time it happened it’s because they saw a ‘ghost’ and I am supposed to accept that?? This time I shut the door but I accidentally slammed it because hey I’m half asleep and they started screaming more so I shouted at them to shut up and then went to wash my face. I was waken up abruptly in my sleep so I know I’m not getting back to sleep but they all started texting me having a go at me for shouting at them. I don’t get why I should feel bad for them when they woke me up, have done it previously and will do it again. Then someone else in the gc who doesn’t live there started texting me saying they are respectful I shouldn’t have shouted. I have a whole list of stuff they have done to me I don’t think they are respectful at all. I’ve woken up with my heart pounding cus I’m scared and yet I am the problem. Help me understand please

Hello,

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this, it sounds exhausting and honestly quite upsetting. Being woken up like that, especially more than once, isn’t fair on you, and it makes sense that you reacted in the moment when you were half asleep and startled. Anyone would struggle to stay calm in that situation.
From what you’ve said, it also seems like there’s a pattern where your side isn’t being listened to, which can make everything feel even more frustrating and isolating. You shouldn’t be made to feel like the problem for reacting to something that’s repeatedly affecting your sleep and sense of safety.
If you’re living in student accommodation, it might really help to get in touch with the administration or housing team about what’s been happening. Their behaviour, especially the late-night disturbances and how they’re treating you, isn’t appropriate, and you deserve to feel comfortable and respected in your own space. Sadly, situations like this do happen sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you just have to put up with it.

Hope things change soon! Be safe.