⋆.𐙚 ̊gyg- rescuing my Cambridge English offer ⋆.𐙚 ̊

2

Hii, I'm in year 13 and currently hold an offer for English at Caius college, Cambridge (A*AA with A* in Eng Lit and a pass in EPQ).

Since my interview (which went horribly), I've been nowhere near my previous level of drive or productivity. I'd been infatuated with the idea of Cambridge for ages, but actually visiting for the interview I felt incredibly out of place.

I was also given an offer through winter pool rather than by the college I originally applied to (Pembroke) so that doesn't really help my confidence.

I know I've been given an amazing opportunity, so I'd still like to at least try and rescue my offer- despite the fact that I feel I have been producing very low quality work for the past couple months, and can feel my chances of achieving my offer dropping daily.

My other offers are:
-A*AA for English at Durham
-AAA for English at St Andrews
-AAA for English and Creative Writing at Leeds
-waiting on English at Edinburgh

Some more context:
-Post-grad I would like to enter the publishing industry, and I would love to work in an editorial position
-My real dream is to publish my own creative writing. (I recently got shortlisted in a comp for the first proper poem I ever tried writing lol so I potentially have a chance :smile:

)

Some random personal context (potentially tmi/ 'woe-is-me' lol sorry):
-Currently struggling with loneliness, as I have very few friends. Only 1 of these I can be myself around, but he's also my recent ex so hanging out with him is emotionally interesting to say the least.
-My home/ family environment isn't the best right now, largely due to my mum who has always been pretty controlling.

Point is, through this gyg I want to still try my hardest to hold myself accountable every day (and not give up run away to the wilderness and live out the rest of my days amongst the squirrels surviving on foraged mushrooms. A girl can dream.)

I also plan on documenting my self-help efforts to improve my mental health (I'd really like counselling support or something from my sixth-form but all of their counselling spaces are filled up unfortunately).

My main to-dos before the end of y13 are:
☐ Revise for my 3 Religious Studies exams
☐ Revise for my 2 English Lit exams
☐ Finish my Streetcar NEA for English
☐ Finish my Art 40% coursework
☐ Finish my EPQ
☐ Sort out uni admin (finances etc)

Thanks for reading! I'd truly appreciate anyone joining me in this zombie crawl to the finish line.

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 1

gabicam

OP

2

Original post

by gabicam

Hii, I'm in year 13 and currently hold an offer for English at Caius college, Cambridge (A*AA with A* in Eng Lit and a pass in EPQ).
Since my interview (which went horribly), I've honestly fully crashed mentally and been nowhere near my previous level of drive or productivity. I'd say I'm burnt out, but it more feels like disillusion: I'd been infatuated with the idea of Cambridge for ages, but actually visiting for the interview I felt incredibly out of place.
I was also given an offer through winter pool rather than by the college I originally applied to (Pembroke) so that doesn't really help my confidence.
I know I've been given an amazing opportunity, so I'd still like to at least try and rescue my offer- despite the fact that I've been producing very low quality work for the past couple months, and can feel my chances of achieving my offer dropping daily.
My other offers are:
-A*AA for English at Durham
-AAA for English at St Andrews
-AAA for English and Creative Writing at Leeds
-waiting on English at Edinburgh
Some more context:
-Post-grad I would like to enter the publishing industry, and I would love to work in an editorial position
-My real dream is to publish my own creative writing. (I recently got shortlisted in a comp for the first proper poem I ever tried writing lol so I potentially have a chance :smile:

Some random personal context (potentially tmi/ 'woe-is-me' lol sorry):
-Currently struggling with loneliness, as I have very few friends. Only 1 of these I can be myself around, but he's also my recent ex so hanging out with him is emotionally interesting to say the least.
-My home/ family environment isn't the best right now, largely due to my mum who has always been pretty controlling + emotionally volatile.
-Also currently struggling with s3lf-harm1ng + feeling like my life is pointless.
Point is, through this gyg I want to still try my hardest to hold myself accountable every day (and not give up run away to the wilderness and live out the rest of my days amongst the squirrels surviving on foraged mushrooms. A girl can dream.)
I also plan on documenting my efforts to improve my mental health :smile:

My main to-dos before the end of y13 are:
☐ Revise for my 3 Religious Studies exams
☐ Revise for my 2 English Lit exams
☐ Finish my Streetcar NEA for English
☐ Finish my Art 40% coursework
☐ Finish my EPQ
☐ Sort out uni admin (finances etc)
Thanks for reading! I'd truly appreciate anyone joining me in this zombie crawl to the finish line.

My aims for this evening:

☐ Prep everything for tomorrow so I don't wake up panicked like usual lol (make sure put hw in bag)
☐ Finish my dreadful NEA 2nd draft
☐ Have a look at some revision bits for tomorrow's mock resit

Reply 2

Mia Reinke

2

Original post

by gabicam

Hii, I'm in year 13 and currently hold an offer for English at Caius college, Cambridge (A*AA with A* in Eng Lit and a pass in EPQ).
Since my interview (which went horribly), I've honestly fully crashed mentally and been nowhere near my previous level of drive or productivity. I'd say I'm burnt out, but it more feels like disillusion: I'd been infatuated with the idea of Cambridge for ages, but actually visiting for the interview I felt incredibly out of place.
I was also given an offer through winter pool rather than by the college I originally applied to (Pembroke) so that doesn't really help my confidence.
I know I've been given an amazing opportunity, so I'd still like to at least try and rescue my offer- despite the fact that I've been producing very low quality work for the past couple months, and can feel my chances of achieving my offer dropping daily.
My other offers are:
-A*AA for English at Durham
-AAA for English at St Andrews
-AAA for English and Creative Writing at Leeds
-waiting on English at Edinburgh
Some more context:
-Post-grad I would like to enter the publishing industry, and I would love to work in an editorial position
-My real dream is to publish my own creative writing. (I recently got shortlisted in a comp for the first proper poem I ever tried writing lol so I potentially have a chance :smile:

)
Some random personal context (potentially tmi/ 'woe-is-me' lol sorry):
-Currently struggling with loneliness, as I have very few friends. Only 1 of these I can be myself around, but he's also my recent ex so hanging out with him is emotionally interesting to say the least.
-My home/ family environment isn't the best right now, largely due to my mum who has always been pretty controlling + emotionally volatile.
-Also currently struggling with s3lf-harm1ng + feeling like my life is pointless.
Point is, through this gyg I want to still try my hardest to hold myself accountable every day (and not give up run away to the wilderness and live out the rest of my days amongst the squirrels surviving on foraged mushrooms. A girl can dream.)
I also plan on documenting my self-help efforts to improve my mental health (I'd really like counselling support or something from my sixth-form but all of their counselling spaces are filled up unfortunately).
My main to-dos before the end of y13 are:
☐ Revise for my 3 Religious Studies exams
☐ Revise for my 2 English Lit exams
☐ Finish my Streetcar NEA for English
☐ Finish my Art 40% coursework
☐ Finish my EPQ
☐ Sort out uni admin (finances etc)
Thanks for reading! I'd truly appreciate anyone joining me in this zombie crawl to the finish line.

Hey, it honestly sounds like the pressure of these top universities are starting to get you. I honestly relate to what you said academically so much, I’m currently in year 12 studying English lit and my dream university is Cambridge. I also really want to go into the publishing sector specifically the editing bit. If you have any tips for English that would be so appreciated as I’ve got mocks coming up but honestly wish you all the best for your exams

Reply 3

The_Lonely_Goatherd

20

Posting to subscribe! I'm sorry to read that you're feeling disillusioned and lacking confidence atm, and about your home and mental health struggles.

I was at The Other Place

Spoiler

but pride myself on being a good cheerleader - so happy to invade this corner of TSR for a good cause :h:

I also know what it's like to struggle with mental health (albeit at uni, rather than in Sixth Form), so am willing to help if I can :yes:

Cheering you on and looking forward to following :rave:

Reply 4

DurhamRep Lacey

Official Rep

8

Original post

by gabicam

Hii, I'm in year 13 and currently hold an offer for English at Caius college, Cambridge (A*AA with A* in Eng Lit and a pass in EPQ).
Since my interview (which went horribly), I've honestly fully crashed mentally and been nowhere near my previous level of drive or productivity. I'd say I'm burnt out, but it more feels like disillusion: I'd been infatuated with the idea of Cambridge for ages, but actually visiting for the interview I felt incredibly out of place.
I was also given an offer through winter pool rather than by the college I originally applied to (Pembroke) so that doesn't really help my confidence.
I know I've been given an amazing opportunity, so I'd still like to at least try and rescue my offer- despite the fact that I've been producing very low quality work for the past couple months, and can feel my chances of achieving my offer dropping daily.
My other offers are:
-A*AA for English at Durham
-AAA for English at St Andrews
-AAA for English and Creative Writing at Leeds
-waiting on English at Edinburgh
Some more context:
-Post-grad I would like to enter the publishing industry, and I would love to work in an editorial position
-My real dream is to publish my own creative writing. (I recently got shortlisted in a comp for the first proper poem I ever tried writing lol so I potentially have a chance :smile:

)
Some random personal context (potentially tmi/ 'woe-is-me' lol sorry):
-Currently struggling with loneliness, as I have very few friends. Only 1 of these I can be myself around, but he's also my recent ex so hanging out with him is emotionally interesting to say the least.
-My home/ family environment isn't the best right now, largely due to my mum who has always been pretty controlling + emotionally volatile.
-Also currently struggling with s3lf-harm1ng + feeling like my life is pointless.
Point is, through this gyg I want to still try my hardest to hold myself accountable every day (and not give up run away to the wilderness and live out the rest of my days amongst the squirrels surviving on foraged mushrooms. A girl can dream.)
I also plan on documenting my self-help efforts to improve my mental health (I'd really like counselling support or something from my sixth-form but all of their counselling spaces are filled up unfortunately).
My main to-dos before the end of y13 are:
☐ Revise for my 3 Religious Studies exams
☐ Revise for my 2 English Lit exams
☐ Finish my Streetcar NEA for English
☐ Finish my Art 40% coursework
☐ Finish my EPQ
☐ Sort out uni admin (finances etc)
Thanks for reading! I'd truly appreciate anyone joining me in this zombie crawl to the finish line.

Hiya!!

Durham English student rep here 👋 and I just wanted to say first of all: I’m really glad you posted this. A lot of people feel like this and don’t say it out loud. Many other students will read these threads and relate, so know your not alone.

I also applied to Cambridge when I was in Year 13 and went to the open day/interview stage, and I remember that exact feeling of suddenly thinking “oh… this isn’t what I imagined” and feeling completely out of place. I felt anxious the whole of the open day, which is really strange for me. The pressure around it is intense, especially when it becomes this symbol of your whole identity for years and then when you actually experience it, it can be really disorientating. I actually ended up withdrawing my application because I realised the environment and the pressure weren’t right for me, and that was genuinely one of the best decisions I made for my wellbeing. I also visited Durham the weekend after the Cambridge Open day and I genuinely just felt a much greater sense of belonging and that it fulfilled all my wants from an University.

That doesn’t mean you should withdraw at all, just that your reaction is very normal and not a personal failure. Being pooled also says nothing about your ability. It literally means multiple colleges wanted you!

On the burnout side: I hit a massive wall during A-levels too, even to the extent that I stopped attending some lessons. After offers came in I went from being super driven to feeling completely detached and exhausted, and my work quality dropped for a while. It is recoverable, but not by trying to suddenly become your old hyper-productive self. What helped me was:

•

writing to do lists, sitting down and planning your studying, using studying apps such as Flora

•

setting very small, non-intimidating tasks (like 30 mins of one poem or one critic)

•

treating NEA/coursework as the priority because it’s controlled marks

Re your uni choices and publishing; Durham, St Andrews, Leeds etc. will all get you into publishing. What matters for editorial is:
📚 strong degree
📝 writing experience (student papers, magazines, internships, summer schools)
📖 evidence of your own creative work

You absolutely do not need Cambridge for that path. I know people here at Durham University doing English who are already working with student publications, interning at small presses, and building portfolios.

The most important thing though is your wellbeing. The things you mentioned about self-harm and feeling pointless aren’t things you should have to deal with on your own, even if school counselling is full, please tell a teacher, head of sixth form, GP, or another trusted adult. You deserve support now, not just once you get to uni.

In terms of getting to the finish line academically, your list is actually very doable if you break it down:
1️⃣ NEA (biggest guaranteed marks)
2️⃣ EPQ (chunk it into tiny sections)
3️⃣ One exam topic per day max
4️⃣ RS in short bursts because it’s content heavy

Something I struggled with was trying to attain perfection, where in reality I just needed to meet my grades.

Also your poem being shortlisted on your first proper attempt is incredible and a massive sign you should keep writing 🥳

You’re not alone in the “zombie crawl” feeling. Be kind to yourself and prioritise YOU! At the end of the day exams are just as much a test on your knowledge than it is also on your ability to navigate stressful periods of academics.

If you want to talk about Durham English, publishing pathways, or just how to structure revision without burning out more, I’m very happy to help 🤍 From someone who has been here before, it is very normal and honestly so understandable. A-Levels are such a hard period of your life, and I promise it gets better. Please look after yourself.

-Lacey, DU Student Rep

Reply 5

DurhamRep Rosie

Official Rep

9

Original post

by gabicam

Hii, I'm in year 13 and currently hold an offer for English at Caius college, Cambridge (A*AA with A* in Eng Lit and a pass in EPQ).
Since my interview (which went horribly), I've been nowhere near my previous level of drive or productivity. I'd been infatuated with the idea of Cambridge for ages, but actually visiting for the interview I felt incredibly out of place.
I was also given an offer through winter pool rather than by the college I originally applied to (Pembroke) so that doesn't really help my confidence.
I know I've been given an amazing opportunity, so I'd still like to at least try and rescue my offer- despite the fact that I feel I have been producing very low quality work for the past couple months, and can feel my chances of achieving my offer dropping daily.
My other offers are:
-A*AA for English at Durham
-AAA for English at St Andrews
-AAA for English and Creative Writing at Leeds
-waiting on English at Edinburgh
Some more context:
-Post-grad I would like to enter the publishing industry, and I would love to work in an editorial position
-My real dream is to publish my own creative writing. (I recently got shortlisted in a comp for the first proper poem I ever tried writing lol so I potentially have a chance :smile:

)
Some random personal context (potentially tmi/ 'woe-is-me' lol sorry):
-Currently struggling with loneliness, as I have very few friends. Only 1 of these I can be myself around, but he's also my recent ex so hanging out with him is emotionally interesting to say the least.
-My home/ family environment isn't the best right now, largely due to my mum who has always been pretty controlling.
Point is, through this gyg I want to still try my hardest to hold myself accountable every day (and not give up run away to the wilderness and live out the rest of my days amongst the squirrels surviving on foraged mushrooms. A girl can dream.)
I also plan on documenting my self-help efforts to improve my mental health (I'd really like counselling support or something from my sixth-form but all of their counselling spaces are filled up unfortunately).
My main to-dos before the end of y13 are:
☐ Revise for my 3 Religious Studies exams
☐ Revise for my 2 English Lit exams
☐ Finish my Streetcar NEA for English
☐ Finish my Art 40% coursework
☐ Finish my EPQ
☐ Sort out uni admin (finances etc)
Thanks for reading! I'd truly appreciate anyone joining me in this zombie crawl to the finish line.

Hi there,

Congratulations on your offers, there are lots of great universities there!

The most important thing, however, is your wellbeing, and that should never be something you compromise to get into university. I understand that there seems to be a lot of pressure, especially considering the grade requirements you outlined and other personal difficulties. You should be super proud of your achievements despite these circumstances, but please make sure you aren't making studying so important that it's detrimental. 🙂

You can reach your goals of an editorial position and pursuing creative writing regardless of which of these universities you go to, which might be helpful to keep in mind. 😊 I understand the drive to do well and study as much as possible to meet your goals, but the best way to do this is to look after your wellbeing, to ensure you can productively and comfortably take in information. Perhaps you could try to practice mindfulness, go on regular walks and make sure you're giving yourself enough breaks for all the work you're doing, amidst the wait for support from your school.

I study here at Durham, so let me know if you have any questions!
All the best,
-Rosie (DU Representative)

⋆.𐙚 ̊gyg- rescuing my Cambridge English offer ⋆.𐙚 ̊

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