Homesickness at university lasting into semester 2

11

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

(edited 2 months ago)

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

20

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

There's nothing wrong with you, this is very normal. Growing up is not an easy thing to do, I know I've certainly struggled with many parts of it. But there's nothing to be done about it except carry on - it will get better with time. Do talk to people though, with your family and your friends, it really helps.

Reply 2

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

19

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

Hi @Lilacfern,
First of all, I'm sorry you feel this way. Secondly, I know the feeling. I am in a situation where I can go home but, sometimes I have found that this doesn't make the homesickness any easier rather, makes it worse. Make sure you keep speaking to your family and friends at home and maybe even offer for them to come to your uni. I know its hard (and I can do with hearing this sometimes) but one day you will look back at university life and maybe wish you can do it all again so try make the most of it for yourself.
Talk to people about how you feel as, you aren't the first person to feel this way and you definitely won't be the last.
Jack LJMU Rep

Reply 3

LancashireRep4

Official Rep

12

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

Hi @Lilacfern

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, I can relate to this quite well. Firstly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way, it is entirely normal. Personally, I gave it one and a half years of living in an accommodation, then decided I just wanted to go back home. It is never too late to change your decision and it's always best to prioritise your mental wellbeing.

I would also like to recommend talking with a counsellor at university about how you feel. You can often find information out about this on your university website. Talking to someone may help a lot and make your feelings feel valid.

Since you love life on campus most of the time, it may be best you go with an approach that makes home feel not so far away. Regularly calling and facetiming family can help you still feel "in the loop" alongside planning regular visits home rather than spontaneous ones as then you know you are definitely heading back home sometime soon. However, if you miss home too much you could spend this summer planning how you could travel to university and still be involved in university life. For example, I take a two hour train ride, which gives me time to get work done while travelling, and it all works out cheaper than accommodation each week! However this idea is dependent on the flexibility of your schedule.

There are always other options, whether it be counselling, travelling, changing university, keeping close contact and more. University will be a short snippet of your life and it's okay to miss what you used to have, but also see the positives for where you are at now compared to six months ago! Home will still always be there 😊.

I hope this helps, please feel free to ask me any questions,
-Sophia (University of Lancashire)

Reply 4

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

17

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

Hi there,

I hope you are doing well. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this but please do not worry because this is completely normal! I found regularly calling my family or friends from home to be very beneficial as you are still kept in the loop with everything and are being updated. It can be worth as was pitching the idea of them coming to visit you at uni, this helped me quite a lot! Furthermore, you can talk to you university hub centre about these feelings and they can advice you on where to go also.

Hope this helps!
Rachel (UoS Student Room Rep)

Reply 5

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through this, it sounds like it has been really tricky for you.

I feel the same way sometimes now, and I definitely felt like this in my first year of uni. It is so hard to feel like you are growing up and everything is changing so I can understand how you feel. It does get better over time and there is no set time where you should feel fine at uni - so just because it is your second semester doesn't mean you should just be fine, it might just take a little bit longer!

One thing that helped me whenever I felt homesick is to keep in touch with friends and family from home and face time them whenever you can! It always helped me to feel like I was in the loop with everything that was happening at home which helped me to feel more involved and less homesick.

I also liked to have the next time I would see my family sorted out, so i would know the next time I was going home, or the next time they would come and visit me so I had this in my head and wasn't just waiting for a time when I could see them.

If you are really struggling, I would also recommend talking to someone at uni about it. There will be dedicated student support teams that you could speak to, or your tutors if you feel like there is someone you can speak to about this. it is worth doing and may help you to feel a bit better.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy - SHU student ambassador.

Reply 6

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Lilacfern

All day I am happy, then right before bed at night I cry most nights. I'm less than 2 hours from home and am able to go back moat weekends, yet I am still homesick. It's 3 weeks into semester 2 and every week is the same. I enjoy my time at uni very much, until I'm about to go to bed each night. I feel like I'm split in half, between home and uni. I am always happy where I am but miss wherever I'm not. I feel guilty for leaving home even though nobody has ever given me a reason to. I miss the simple days. I feel guilty that I feel guilty. And I don't know how to tell anyone. I miss my old life but know that it won't ever be the same again.
What is wrong with me? Is this normal? Will it go away in second year?

Hi Lilacfern,

I hope you are well and there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling homesick whilst at uni. I was terrified moving into university as it was my first time living away from home and meeting people for the first time. So I found it hard to settle in until later on in my first year, but sometimes I still feel homesick when coming back to university after vacations. I also video call my family pretty much every day so that helps me still feel at home whilst university and I try to go home once a term.

I would advise talking to people about this as it is very common among students and getting involved in societies helps you do something during the evenings. Also on weekends trying to get out helps such as going to a coffee shop, shopping or going for a walk at a local park. You could also talk to the university's mental health team or your personal tutor if that helps as they should be able to point you towards support regarding homesickness.

Here is some advise from the Lancaster university website about how to deal with homesickness if that helps (Link).

Let me know if you need any other advise
Emily
(Lancaster Student Ambassador)

Homesickness at university lasting into semester 2

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