Unsure what to do after A-levels?

I’m really unsure what to do with my life after A-levels. My plan had always been undergrad, masters and phd in history, then become a professor at a university. I’m predicted AAA and I have 4 university offers and got to interview stage for Oxford.
But, tbh now I just feel like I’ve completely lost interest in university and life. I deferred by firm and insurance thinking a gap year would be enough, but now I just feel like i don’t wanna go to university at all, and I feel so lost because that’s all I’ve ever wanted? I’m no longer interested in my second choice university after Oxford which I loved, and I have no interest in my other choices either.
I’ve considered reapplying for Oxford, but I’ll admit I’m so tired the thought of doing it all again pains me even though I love the uni.
I’ve looked into apprenticeships and other alternatives, but none really match my interest like I felt uni would.
I would like to preface I have been speaking with the GP lately about anxiety, depression and ongoing self harm issues. This may be what’s causing my indifference to life and university more generally, but I’m really struggling to tell.
I just feel like the future and university all sounds so depressing and boring and I just don’t want to go on with it all.
All I know is I want to smash my A-level subjects not for a specific universities requirements but just because I care about them and have worked so hard and want to achieve what I’m capable of. Beyond that, I have no idea what to do with myself, nothing feels right anymore.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I’m really unsure what to do with my life after A-levels. My plan had always been undergrad, masters and phd in history, then become a professor at a university. I’m predicted AAA and I have 4 university offers and got to interview stage for Oxford.

But, tbh now I just feel like I’ve completely lost interest in university and life. I deferred by firm and insurance thinking a gap year would be enough, but now I just feel like i don’t wanna go to university at all, and I feel so lost because that’s all I’ve ever wanted? I’m no longer interested in my second choice university after Oxford which I loved, and I have no interest in my other choices either.

I’ve considered reapplying for Oxford, but I’ll admit I’m so tired the thought of doing it all again pains me even though I love the uni.

I’ve looked into apprenticeships and other alternatives, but none really match my interest like I felt uni would.

I would like to preface I have been speaking with the GP lately about anxiety, depression and ongoing self harm issues. This may be what’s causing my indifference to life and university more generally, but I’m really struggling to tell.

I just feel like the future and university all sounds so depressing and boring and I just don’t want to go on with it all.

All I know is I want to smash my A-level subjects not for a specific universities requirements but just because I care about them and have worked so hard and want to achieve what I’m capable of. Beyond that, I have no idea what to do with myself, nothing feels right anymore.

So you don't need to go to Oxbridge to become an academic. Equally though you arguably don't need to make that decision until later in your undergrad anyway.
It does sound like a gap year may be a good idea though - I'd recommend trying to get a job to experience a bit more independent living and working to a point, and have a bit of a different experience from school (which remember has been your whole life for the last 13 odd years!)
Definitely also engage with your GP, as it can also be the lack of motivation and interest in your previous plans could be a symptom of your condition - which can be managed

Hi there,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this decision at the moment, but it’s good to see that you’re actively considering your options. Feeling unsure about which path to take is something a lot of students experience at this stage in their lives, so you’re definitely not alone.
From what you’ve said, it sounds like university has been a long-term plan for you, with the hope of going on to do a master’s and possibly a PhD. With that in mind, how would you feel about attending an applicant day, if your university offers them? These can be a great way to get a better sense of university life and to spend time around others who would be in your cohort. For some people, this experience really helps clarify whether starting university this year feels right.
If you attend an applicant day and still feel unsure about going to university this coming year, it might be worth looking into part-time or full-time employment in an area that interests you. Many roles offer opportunities to progress and develop over time, and it’s important to remember that university will still be there - you can always reapply when the timing feels right for you. It's never too late to go to uni!
On the other hand, if you do decide to start university this year, it’s also okay to change your mind once your studies commence. You can choose to leave even after your studies have begun, and that’s a really important thing to remember. You never have to force yourself to follow something through to the end if it doesn’t feel right for you.
I went through a similar period of uncertainty myself after finishing college and feeling pressured to follow the “normal path.” What helped me most was reminding myself that everyone’s journey is different. I chose to start with part-time work, which later led to a full-time role, and a few years down the line I felt ready to explore university again. I’m now studying a Sport Coaching degree, which really showed me that there’s no single right timeline to follow.
Take your time, be kind to yourself, and trust that whichever path you choose, it doesn’t have to be permanent.
I hope this helps and provides some reassurance that there's no rush and no "right path" to follow
Olivia
LJMU Ambassador

I’m going to York next weekend for an open day, but I’m also staying there from Friday to Sunday because the open day happens to fall on my birthday, and I wanted a trip somewhere to celebrate. For some reason, though, I’m really scared I’m not going to like it, or that the way I’m feeling is going to taint the experience somehow.
Part of me kind of regrets turning it into a birthday thing, because now if I don’t like it, it might just sour the whole weekend. I feel terrible too because I haven’t even told my parents that I’ve deferred my offers and that I’m feeling so uncertain. They seem to think I’m very certain about university, because, I mean, I have been up until this point, and I don’t know how to say it. I’m scared they won’t understand.

Hi there,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this decision at the moment, but it’s good to see that you’re actively considering your options. Feeling unsure about which path to take is something a lot of students experience at this stage in their lives, so you’re definitely not alone.
From what you’ve said, it sounds like university has been a long-term plan for you, with the hope of going on to do a master’s and possibly a PhD. With that in mind, how would you feel about attending an applicant day, if your university offers them? These can be a great way to get a better sense of university life and to spend time around others who would be in your cohort. For some people, this experience really helps clarify whether starting university this year feels right.
If you attend an applicant day and still feel unsure about going to university this coming year, it might be worth looking into part-time or full-time employment in an area that interests you. Many roles offer opportunities to progress and develop over time, and it’s important to remember that university will still be there - you can always reapply when the timing feels right for you. It's never too late to go to uni!
On the other hand, if you do decide to start university this year, it’s also okay to change your mind once your studies commence. You can choose to leave even after your studies have begun, and that’s a really important thing to remember. You never have to force yourself to follow something through to the end if it doesn’t feel right for you.
I went through a similar period of uncertainty myself after finishing college and feeling pressured to follow the “normal path.” What helped me most was reminding myself that everyone’s journey is different. I chose to start with part-time work, which later led to a full-time role, and a few years down the line I felt ready to explore university again. I’m now studying a Sport Coaching degree, which really showed me that there’s no single right timeline to follow.
Take your time, be kind to yourself, and trust that whichever path you choose, it doesn’t have to be permanent.
I hope this helps and provides some reassurance that there's no rush and no "right path" to follow
Olivia
LJMU Ambassador

I know I could still be an academic even if I didn’t go to Oxbridge. And, to be honest, I wasn’t all that disappointed when I was rejected. My disappointment has actually increased in the past two months because I now realise how much I preferred the security of it, while still being away from home, because I don’t want to stay in London, and how close it was to home.

I can’t help but think about the course and compare it to the other universities I’ve applied to, because it’s made me realise the modules just don’t match my interests as much as I thought when Oxford’s did. The only other university where I liked the modules as much as Oxford’s was King’s, but again, I do not want to stay in London, so I can’t really justify applying because I know I’ll hate being at home, and there is no way I’m paying for accommodation in London.

It sounds ridiculous, but every time I see anything Oxford-related, even something as small as worksheets in my lessons having the same font as the pre-reading I was given for one of my interviews, it sends me into such a spiral and panic that it’s hard to stop crying and calm myself. It happened last night: I cried for about an hour and a half, and it took around 40 minutes of counting to 10 to calm down. It feels embarrassing because I feel like I should be over the rejection by now, but I actually feel worse than I initially did.

For some reason, though, I just feel put off reapplying. When I got rejected, my teachers told me I still have good offers and that I don’t need Oxford. I know this was intended to make me feel better, but it actually made me feel worse. I feel pressured to just take the offers I have because they are still good, and to everyone else it seems like a waste to reapply. Even my parents don’t think I should.
I mean, I have my reservations as well. I’m tired, and re-doing the Oxford application process feels so exhausting; especially because it may lead to the same outcome.

I guess I’m just confused. The only thing I can say for absolute certain is that I want a gap year and I want a break from school, but I just have no idea how to plan going forward when I don’t know what I want to do. It’s hard to stay motivated, because at this stage in Year 13 the motivation is revise, get the entry requirement grades, and go to university. But I’m not even sure if I want the ones I’ve applied for, or if I reapply what grades I’d need.

I know it’s not a decision that needs to be made now, but it sucks seeing everyone else ready to move forward, and my teachers just telling me to be happy with the offers I have when they just don’t match me anymore. I can’t figure out what path would match me now. Plus, it hurts even more because my teachers seem to think I have so much potential, and I feel like I’m somehow wasting it by giving up the universities I have.

I think you do need to talk to your GP about your responses to this, because while it's understandable to be disappointed by not getting into your top choice, what you are describing goes a lot further than that and seems to be have a really negative impact on your day to day life - I think first priority should be working with your GP on your mental health I some of the immediate issues may be alleviated by addressing that!
No matter what you seem like you have clear goals and your worries seem to be about meeting expectations you have around those, and the current situations not matching with your original expectations. So also I think try and focus on your longer term goals with what you can do in the short term to help meet those. If your goal is to be an academic then the short term actions you can take to achieve the long term goal is to try and focus on doing as well in your A-levels as possible. What uni you go to etc is an intermediary goal and if you are aiming to take a gap year, you don't even need to think about that or make a decision on reapplying or not yet; you've deferred your offers so you can just take that off your plate for now and focus on your A-levels, then over the summer you can deal with that "issue".
The second factor is about your current situation not necessarily matching expectations - this is unfortunately something that will occur over and over again in life, and an important part of growing up is developing the skills to allow you to deal with those situations and be better equipped to manage them emotionally and also recover from setbacks practically. I think this is where your health issues are having a big impact and addressing those will help you develop these skills more. Realistically having a setback shouldn't put you into a longer term slump and cause you to lose motivation for all work related to long term goals - as above, disappointment is expected but this is more than that and I think there might be other factors there so talking to your GP about this will help you start exploring ways to better manage that side of things
Overall though, try and keep focused on the long term goal and not on short term goal posts along the way, and focus on what you can do immediately in the present and try and not worry about things that are either beyond your control, or which you don't have to yet make decisions on or take actions on! This might help alleviate some of the mental load you're feeling too

I think you do need to talk to your GP about your responses to this, because while it's understandable to be disappointed by not getting into your top choice, what you are describing goes a lot further than that and seems to be have a really negative impact on your day to day life - I think first priority should be working with your GP on your mental health I some of the immediate issues may be alleviated by addressing that!
No matter what you seem like you have clear goals and your worries seem to be about meeting expectations you have around those, and the current situations not matching with your original expectations. So also I think try and focus on your longer term goals with what you can do in the short term to help meet those. If your goal is to be an academic then the short term actions you can take to achieve the long term goal is to try and focus on doing as well in your A-levels as possible. What uni you go to etc is an intermediary goal and if you are aiming to take a gap year, you don't even need to think about that or make a decision on reapplying or not yet; you've deferred your offers so you can just take that off your plate for now and focus on your A-levels, then over the summer you can deal with that "issue".
The second factor is about your current situation not necessarily matching expectations - this is unfortunately something that will occur over and over again in life, and an important part of growing up is developing the skills to allow you to deal with those situations and be better equipped to manage them emotionally and also recover from setbacks practically. I think this is where your health issues are having a big impact and addressing those will help you develop these skills more. Realistically having a setback shouldn't put you into a longer term slump and cause you to lose motivation for all work related to long term goals - as above, disappointment is expected but this is more than that and I think there might be other factors there so talking to your GP about this will help you start exploring ways to better manage that side of things
Overall though, try and keep focused on the long term goal and not on short term goal posts along the way, and focus on what you can do immediately in the present and try and not worry about things that are either beyond your control, or which you don't have to yet make decisions on or take actions on! This might help alleviate some of the mental load you're feeling too

It’s not even that I’m upset about this outcome matching expectations. I had actually been speaking with my teachers before I even received the rejection about not taking an Oxford offer if I received one. Had I gotten one I knew I was too unwell to take it this year, and that why I was initially relieved, cause this meant i didn’t have the pressure to take an offer now and could take a break.

That’s why I’m so confused by my reaction. I feel awful about a rejection to a uni that I loved but for an offer I knew i wouldn’t take at this time. So idk why I’m upset, cause either way I’d be here not going to Oxford this October.

Maybe it’s because I feel like that choice was taken from me by the rejection, but even then I know that had I gotten the offer I would’ve felt too much pressure to take the offer, which was why I was initially received.

I’m not even sure if what I’m feeling it’s disappointed at things not working out. This was the outcome I was hoping for, but everyone telling me ‘oh I’m sorry, York is still god’ made me feel so upset and angry.

My school put me through hell over my application, and days before the deadline nearly stopped me from putting it in, and I had to fight so hard for it only for it to come to nothing. I’m just so exhausted and i can’t find anymore energy or care to give.

There is something else I wanted to ask. I have been considering but am unsure if I want to change courses to English and History.

Because I was early applicant, at the time of applying and writing my personal statement I was confident i didn’t want to continue doing English. This was particularly because of poetry and also to an extent Shakespeare (only like Othello), because I hated poetry at GCSE. But, after doing nothing but poetry during Year 13 I’ve really fallen I love with studying it alongside history.

Now, I know i can’t do a history and poetry degree as much as that would be ideal, but unis like York and Warwick would allow me to effectively do mostly poetry and history + a few other English modules that i wouldn’t mind doing. So, I’m considering that as an option.

I’m entirely certain about it though. One because English usually the lead in the joint degree cause they are usually in the English departments in unis, and because history is still my favourite I’d still be worried about doing too little history. Also, I know i don’t have to be doing English to write poetry, and unis may potentially let me take them as electives during a history degree.

However, I’m unsure if I should reapply for English and history in the next cycle or not. I’d be worried that if I did go to York and tried to swap by the time of deferred entry i wouldn’t be able to, then would need to take another year on top of my first gap year. I don’t want to email any unis now cause I’m not really certain and don’t want them to think I’m uncertain or like I’m not committing, I’ve already deferred never mind changing courses.

Plus, the more and more I think about it the more I want to reapply to Oxford for History and English, where history is the lead subject whereas at other unis it isn’t.

The only thing putting me off is other people’s opinions. Because people and family kept telling me not to reapply and that York was still a good uni, I felt like I had to go to York. But deep down I wanted to reapply but everyone not even giving me that option made me feel worse. If I didn’t have other people’s opinions I would just do it.

So in terms of which department is "lead" this is usually just for administrative purposes (e.g. pastoral support, personal tutor provision, where you register module choices etc). This doesn't normally have any influence on the structure of the course which for "X and Y" courses normally is 50-50 split between the two (at least in terms of compulsory modules, sometimes you have more leeway in picking more options from one side or another).
In terms of contacting your current offers to ask to switch, there's no harm in doing so - they can't rescind an offer after making it because you asked to be considered for a different course. Of course they may not be able to consider you for the other course but there is zero risk involved in doing so.
As above, the course at Oxford is evenly split between the two areas for compulsory options and you can choose to skew either one way or the other (very slightly) for your optional modules. That should not be a factor in decision making

Thank you for clarifying. But even then, I really want to reapply but it’s just everyone putting me off. I feel like people are going to try and stop me?

Thank you for clarifying. But even then, I really want to reapply but it’s just everyone putting me off. I feel like people are going to try and stop me?

The issue I’m having isn’t really about the course or the prestige of the uni itself, i don’t care about that.

But I’m really struggling to picture myself at York or any of the other unis I’ve applied for undergraduate specifically, because I’m much more interested in the undergraduate experience at Oxford. I can’t picture myself being an Oxford postgraduate.

I mean it's your life, nobody can make the choice for you
I think you do need to keep in mind it's possible you won't get in next year either, so you need to be comfortable with the possibilty of not going to Oxford as an undergraduate regardless of whether you choose to reapply. If you're only reapplying because you can't/won't engage with the possibility you could end up at another uni...that might not be the healthiest reason to do so.
Especially as you say you don't care about the course...that seems like a red flag to me. If there was a specific element of the course at Oxford which offers unique opportunities not available elsewhere I can see a clear rationale for applying there. If it's just because of I don't know, some kind of romantic fantasy of living in Oxford wandering around in subfusc...I don't think that's a good reason in of itself, to be a brutally honest.
In any event you are planning to take a gap year and have deferred your choices already as I understand? So you needn't make any decisions now and I would also strongly recommend you NOT make any decisions yet. Engage with your GP, try and get on top of your health issues, focus on doing as well in your academics now, then after your exams over the summer take your time to mull over your options. You don't need to make any decisions until September time so take things one step at a time

But i can’t stop thinking about it. I physically cannot. I haven’t revised all week. And I’m not just applying because i can’t see myself anywhere generally, but because I don’t want to regret not taking the risk. I know it may not work out, but it feels like if I’m taking the gap year anyway I have nothing to lose. I do prefer the course at Oxford, it’s much more broad and other unis feel too restrictive and that’s what puts me off.