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girl i was dating suddenly stopped replying

so i was dating this girl for around 6 months. but then my phone got stolen and we lost contact since, after around 1 month i finally got a new phone as i had to save up to be able to afford a new one. When looking for a new one i saw a new contract deal so i got that, which meant I needed to get a new phone number as well.

So after 1 month i finally got my new phone number and new phone. and sent her a text. This is how the convo went

Me: "Hi, it's XXX I got a new phone number so this is my new number and you can delete the old one"

Her: "Helloo okay I've saved your new one"

Me: "so when can i see you again? it's been a while"

Then I got no response...

So I sent her a follow up message a few days later saying "Just went to XX restaurant which was really nice but i ordered too much food as i'm soo full rn"

It's now been a week and still no response. I really like this girl and want to try one more time but not sure if I should and if i should, then what i should say.

Maybe i was too forward with my message so when can i see you again idk.

Reply 1

You got ghosted. Simple and straight forward. If she wanted you she'd have messaged back. Don't waste more of your life and money on this.

Reply 2

You probably should have spent a bit more time explaining the circumstances and seeing the lay of the land as it were before asking when you would see her. From her point of view you just started ignoring her and it's a really big assumption that you're still dating or anything after weeks of nothing. Considering she's had no other info to go on she has likely emotionally wrote you off and mentally moved on somewhat

I have to ask, if this was important to you surely you could have made contact some other way? contacted her online, through a friend, borrowed someone else's phone, even used a payphone? sent a letter? chapped their door? anything rather than doing literally nothing and leaving them to assume the worst for a month+

"Hi, it's XXX I got a new phone number so this is my new number and you can delete the old one" Like if that is literally what you sent her with no explanation at all that's pretty tone deaf. Think how many times she must have tried to call over weeks, sending texts like 'are you ok?' 'what's going on?' 'have I done something wrong'? 'why won't you talk to me?' etc. This will have put her through a lot and now a month on you've just strolled in all 'whassup I got a new number, when we hooking up?' like nothing happened?

Reply 3

Original post
by StriderHort
You probably should have spent a bit more time explaining the circumstances and seeing the lay of the land as it were before asking when you would see her. From her point of view you just started ignoring her and it's a really big assumption that you're still dating or anything after weeks of nothing. Considering she's had no other info to go on she has likely emotionally wrote you off and mentally moved on somewhat
I have to ask, if this was important to you surely you could have made contact some other way? contacted her online, through a friend, borrowed someone else's phone, even used a payphone? sent a letter? chapped their door? anything rather than doing literally nothing and leaving them to assume the worst for a month+
"Hi, it's XXX I got a new phone number so this is my new number and you can delete the old one" Like if that is literally what you sent her with no explanation at all that's pretty tone deaf. Think how many times she must have tried to call over weeks, sending texts like 'are you ok?' 'what's going on?' 'have I done something wrong'? 'why won't you talk to me?' etc. This will have put her through a lot and now a month on you've just strolled in all 'whassup I got a new number, when we hooking up?' like nothing happened?

True, you are right. I didn't think of that at the time - I just tried to play it "cool" but maybe I should have explained and added a little bit of small talk before inviting her out.

Do you think I could send another text now or would it come across as desperate?

Reply 4

Original post
by ROTL 94
You got ghosted. Simple and straight forward. If she wanted you she'd have messaged back. Don't waste more of your life and money on this.
Yeah. It's unfortunate but this same thing happened to me and chasing after the girl who did it was the biggest damn waste of time ever.

Reply 5

Original post
by Anonymous
True, you are right. I didn't think of that at the time - I just tried to play it "cool" but maybe I should have explained and added a little bit of small talk before inviting her out.
Do you think I could send another text now or would it come across as desperate?

Yes you absolutely should have explained immediately, along the lines of a grovelling apology.

I can't say I fancy your chances now tbh, it would be a massive hole to dig yourself out of. Even explaining now the whole stolen phone thing leaves her with all the same Q's I asked about why you didn't make any other effort to contact them.

I think you also need to ask yourself why you didn't make any other effort? Is this really a priority for you?

Reply 6

Original post
by StriderHort
Yes you absolutely should have explained immediately, along the lines of a grovelling apology.
I can't say I fancy your chances now tbh, it would be a massive hole to dig yourself out of. Even explaining now the whole stolen phone thing leaves her with all the same Q's I asked about why you didn't make any other effort to contact them.
I think you also need to ask yourself why you didn't make any other effort? Is this really a priority for you?

it was genuinely impossible for me to contact her sadly. I couldn't even contact my family or anyone. I don't have her on social media I only had her phone number and once my phone was taken I didn't have any other phone to use until I could save up to buy a new one. And logging into my social accounts on my computer was also impossible as it always needed a text verification code, I had to email my family haha.

I also got so screwed that I couldn't even buy any food as I was previously using apple pay and didn't have any physical cards or cash. My entire life came to a halt when that happened it was painful. She really was a priority just I messed up by not explaining when I text her, I just tried to play it cool.

Reply 7

How can you lose contact with someone you’ve been dating for 6 months, just by changing your phone? It’s not the only mode of keeping in touch. Anyway, looks like water has passed under the bridge and that you’re off the agenda. I would leave the ball in her court and get out on the hunt for new love
(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 8

Don't message her. Phone her. And have a bright and breezy 1 to 2 minute conversation with her. During which you don't raise the topic of meeting her again. And you certainly don't ask her how she feels about you.

You want to take the pressure off her. You want to be unpredictable. And you want to leave her wondering why you didn't ask her for another date.

You do want to be upbeat. Make jokes. Flirty. Teasing in the right kind of way.

If she doesn't pick up, leave her a voicemail where all you do is sing a line from some silly song with silly lyrics.

You may never hear from her again. But you might as well speak and behave in a way that maximises your chances.

Try to avoid asking "When can I see you again?" as it sets the wrong frame. It sets the frame that you're begging for her company and she's the boss and she gets to decide if or when to see you again.
Be a leader. A good leader. Not an overbearing bullying one. A leader that takes charge. And if anyone doesn't want to go along with your plans, then that's fine, you'll find someone else who will.

Edit: and don't send the sort of messages that your grandmother would send. Send the sort of messages that a cool, desirable, positive, fun loving, enthusiastic masculine (in the right kinds of ways) guy would send.

Reply 9

Original post
by Anonymous
it was genuinely impossible for me to contact her sadly. I couldn't even contact my family or anyone. I don't have her on social media I only had her phone number and once my phone was taken I didn't have any other phone to use until I could save up to buy a new one. And logging into my social accounts on my computer was also impossible as it always needed a text verification code, I had to email my family haha.
I also got so screwed that I couldn't even buy any food as I was previously using apple pay and didn't have any physical cards or cash. My entire life came to a halt when that happened it was painful. She really was a priority just I messed up by not explaining when I text her, I just tried to play it cool.

She's moved onto someone else

Reply 10

She don't want you bro

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