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My bf lied about the duration of his last relationship

My boyfriend told me that him and his ex were together for a year, but I found out recently that they started dating in May 2021 and they broke up around August 2023. He said that they broke up for a couple of months during this time, but the timeline doesn’t add up. It would be 2 years that they dated, not 1.
I don’t care how long that they dated but I find it strange that he felt like he had to lie to me about how long they were dating. Should I bring this up to him or should I just let it die?

Reply 1

Original post
by eloisedrury
My boyfriend told me that him and his ex were together for a year, but I found out recently that they started dating in May 2021 and they broke up around August 2023. He said that they broke up for a couple of months during this time, but the timeline doesn’t add up. It would be 2 years that they dated, not 1.
I don’t care how long that they dated but I find it strange that he felt like he had to lie to me about how long they were dating. Should I bring this up to him or should I just let it die?


i would 100% bring it up to him, it might’ve been a slip in his memory or intentional and you won’t know until you ask
the best thing to do is to communicate with him and let him know how you’re feeling too
prepare yourself to hear an answer that you may not want to hear and make a game plan for the what ifs

Reply 2

I would let it lie. It’s not materially different. It might well be about perception of what being together is. The past is the past and not necessarily to be picked over in a new relationship

Reply 3

Original post
by Zarek
I would let it lie. It’s not materially different. It might well be about perception of what being together is. The past is the past and not necessarily to be picked over in a new relationship


tbh i think that depends on whether you CAN let it lie
some people will overthink this to the point of “if he can lie about something like that, what else is he lying about”
genuinely might just be smth worth asking abt even if it is to just settle your mind

Reply 4

Original post
by rachelcb
tbh i think that depends on whether you CAN let it lie
some people will overthink this to the point of “if he can lie about something like that, what else is he lying about”
genuinely might just be smth worth asking abt even if it is to just settle your mind
Well it may not be deliberately deceiving and for me calling it lying is too strong for the nature of the difference. And there is also the consideration of what you should be expected to share about previous relationships

Reply 5

Original post
by Zarek
Well it may not be deliberately deceiving and for me calling it lying is too strong for the nature of the difference. And there is also the consideration of what you should be expected to share about previous relationships


yeah i get what you mean
that’s why i said to talk abt it bc he might not be deliberately deceiving but doesnt know that shes questioning it and just thinks its fine and dandy while she might spiral
and yeah there is that consideration of sharing you’re absolutely right

Reply 6

Original post
by rachelcb
yeah i get what you mean
that’s why i said to talk abt it bc he might not be deliberately deceiving but doesnt know that shes questioning it and just thinks its fine and dandy while she might spiral
and yeah there is that consideration of sharing you’re absolutely right

Thank you, I can kind of feel myself spiralling a little bit just because I want him to feel comfortable enough to be open and honest and it feels like an unnecessary thing to lie about. How do you think I should bring it up to him? Thank you! :smile:

Reply 7

Original post
by eloisedrury
Thank you, I can kind of feel myself spiralling a little bit just because I want him to feel comfortable enough to be open and honest and it feels like an unnecessary thing to lie about. How do you think I should bring it up to him? Thank you! :smile:


personally, i’d say that “oh someone told me that u and x were together for y amount kf time but u told me z, I apologise if it sounds like im questioning your honesty but I’m feeing like I’m overthinking I’m asking for reassurance”
something like that because you want a calm conversation and not an argument
again, prepare for an answer you don’t want to hear, it happens and you learn. and if you get a different answer, then you’ve learned to effectively communicate and you strengthen your bond
How long have you been with him?
Is this the start of your relationship?
When did he tell you about this one?

Reply 9

Break up with him, that's a huge lie he told
I mean, he’s a guy, he may genuinely have had no idea how long the relationship was when on the spot.

Reply 11

Girl break up

Reply 12

Original post
by Admit-One
I mean, he’s a guy, he may genuinely have had no idea how long the relationship was when on the spot.

This, and what Zarek said too that he might simply count it differently if they had a substantial break up in the middle or maybe the first few months they weren't 'official'. A lot of people would likely start counting from 0 again after a break up or just lose track a bit.

I think you need to ask what's in it for him to intentionally lie? It's not like he's hiding the relationship or that it lasted a decent time and/or had break ups. Without a credible reason I'd be inclined towards him just making a mistake.

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