Living in a city as an anxious ASD bookworm🙂

Hi, I have an offer to study at the Southampton’s Highfield campus. I like the university and my course (biomedical sciences) but I’m worried about coping in a busy city.
For context I have ADHD as well as ASD and potential OCD has been mentioned by several professionals. So I struggle to cope with people and noise for long periods of time. I also need somewhere I can walk a lot thats mostly safe at night. I intend to live in the suburbs near the highfield campus or further out nearer to the sports facilities (don’t particularly like sports). I currently live on a fairly quite housing estate about fourty minutes walk away from a small but modestly busy town, and the whole area is very green which I find calming and I cope well here apart from when I’m already stressed or on special market days
Any advice? How do you or friends/ family cope in similar situations?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Also if anyone has any advice on coping with living with strangers with OCD/ ASD/ ADHD/ anxiety I would be very grateful

Reply 2

UEA Rep Rosie

Official Rep

9

Original post

by Anonymous

Hi, I have an offer to study at the Southampton’s Highfield campus. I like the university and my course (biomedical sciences) but I’m worried about coping in a busy city.
For context I have ADHD as well as ASD and potential OCD has been mentioned by several professionals. So I struggle to cope with people and noise for long periods of time. I also need somewhere I can walk a lot thats mostly safe at night. I intend to live in the suburbs near the highfield campus or further out nearer to the sports facilities (don’t particularly like sports). I currently live on a fairly quite housing estate about fourty minutes walk away from a small but modestly busy town, and the whole area is very green which I find calming and I cope well here apart from when I’m already stressed or on special market days
Any advice? How do you or friends/ family cope in similar situations?

Hi there!

I don't go to Southampton but I can relate to some of your concerns as I am also neurodivergent and had similar worries before I started uni! I came from a small town and moved into a city, so was also worried about finding it overwhelming.

I've found that managing my sensory input carefully really helps. For example, wearing noise cancelling headphones and carrying fidget toys with me in case I feel overwhelmed. It's something I'm still learning, but choosing what channel your limited energy into can be really helpful- for example you might choose to go to the shops, but not be able to hang out with friends that evening so you can take time to recover. It's ok to take time to yourself so that you can feel better when you hang out with friends and enjoy yourself more! I sometimes wear earplugs (e.g. loops) in lectures so that I can block out the background noise and pay attention to what the lecturer is saying better.

Making your friends and flatmates aware of what is going on for you is a good idea too, that way if you are really overwhelmed you don't have to take time to explain to them about your neurodivergencies, you can just say you'll chat to them later etc. (basically they will be more understanding).

I don't know about Southampton, but at UEA you can request to be in a quiet/ low alcohol flat if that's something that would help you- possibly worth looking into! This might mean you are more likely to be in a flat with other neurodivergent people too! Also, connecting with the uni's disability team and support services to set up adjustments for you in terms of your academics and also your accommodation is a really good idea! In terms of dealing with living with new people, it isn't as scary as you may think! Everyone is in the same boat and will be feeling nervous about living with people they haven't met before. You can do things like put a post-it with your name and a fun fact about yourself on your door to help break the ice, which also helps if you find it hard to start conversations! If you are struggling, you can always chat to the accommodation team, I'm sure they would be more than happy to help you if you find it hard to get on with your flatmates!

I also had some friends (also neurodivergent) who chose to live in private student accommodation (not owned by the uni, but still only for students), and lived in a studio so they didn't have to live with other people, if this is something you're more worried about. @UEA Rep Jas did this, so could answer more questions on it if you have any!

I would also encourage you to join in with any disability or neurodivergent societies that Southampton may have, as you can connect with people who will be able to give you good advice! You can often email societies before even joining the uni too, if you want to know more about the uni or city before you get there.

Please let me know if you have any more questions, I would be happy to answer them!
UEA Rep Rosie ☺️

Living in a city as an anxious ASD bookworm🙂

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