my gf's skin is soo bad - should i say something

so my gf has pretty bad acne, nothing to be ashamed about we all suffer from it.. and I'm perfectly ok with it plus looks aren't everything. She not only has acne but her actual facial skin is really bad, e.g. full of "Depressed (atrophic) acne scars" which are the indentations all over the skin.

But purely from a health standpoint I wanted to see if there's anything she can do... because I notice she wears a LOTTT of make up which ends up being just too much to try cover up all the scaring and active spots so she must definitely be aware, self conscious about it and insecure about it... and I want her to feel happy so I feel seeing a dermatologist or specialist skin clinic could be useful for her.

But we've only been dating for a couple months so it's still early and maybe me bringing it up could bring out her insecurities worse and offend her?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

so my gf has pretty bad acne, nothing to be ashamed about we all suffer from it.. and I'm perfectly ok with it plus looks aren't everything. She not only has acne but her actual facial skin is really bad, e.g. full of "Depressed (atrophic) acne scars" which are the indentations all over the skin.
But purely from a health standpoint I wanted to see if there's anything she can do... because I notice she wears a LOTTT of make up which ends up being just too much to try cover up all the scaring and active spots so she must definitely be aware, self conscious about it and insecure about it... and I want her to feel happy so I feel seeing a dermatologist or specialist skin clinic could be useful for her.
But we've only been dating for a couple months so it's still early and maybe me bringing it up could bring out her insecurities worse and offend her?

Nobody can say, because no one online knows you or knows your girlfriend. You've posted this online, but it would have been better to have brought it up with your girlfriend. You know that if your girlfriend knew you were posting online about her skin, rather than talking to her, she might feel hurt. Bringing it up with her gives a chance of closeness - discussing it with others instead creates distance. If you truly mean well, she will understand and be happy that you want to help her. The issue with mentioning it won't be tied to what you say. it will be based on how you really feel behind the words. You should be honest with yourself first, though - it does bother you. Whether it's the skin appearance or the insecurity it causes, it bothers you. If you want to help her, help her to realise that she is beautiful without the make up. If she comes to truly believe that, she will glow.

Reply 2

divine-matrix

if she wears makeup she probably has a skin care routine alongside it for acne. idk, say you're interested in skin care and if she has any recommendations, she'll probably reveal what she does, etc, so you'll know if she is dealing with it. i wouldn't be surprised if she is already using good skin care if she does have severe acne.

Reply 3

Zarek

Those with acne will be acutely aware of the issue. One of the main causes of scarring is prodding and jabbing at spots in an attempt to deal with them. Women also have the additional stress of trying to cover it with makeup which will only be partially successful and may cause problems itself. It’s likely she’s had some health care help already and if not I would let her mention it first. I do agree though that only a dermatologist is likely to help with severe acne. I wasted a few years on over the counter remedies and GP tinkering.

It is a sensitive area and any hint of criticism from a partner will probably cause upset. I’d love her as she is, seek to build her confidence and be cautious with advice

Reply 4

Username123ab

What would you be hoping to achieve by saying something? She will be acutely aware of what her skin looks like and if it's as bad as you say, then she's likely already seeing a dermatologist or on medication for it and just hasn't discussed it with you. Mentioning it will likely just come across as unsolicited appearance advice that makes her even more self conscious and question whether you actually find her attractive.

Reply 5

Kathy89

Well it depends on the level of your relationships.
Girls can be very sensitive about their looks and take concern as criticism. So if you really want to help her, don't pay attention to it unless you are in that type of relationship she trusts you that much.