making friends at keele :/

2

I have a close-knit group of friends right now, but they aren’t going to university, and I’m also moving out of the city. While I can visit them and they can visit me, it’s going to be strange not having them less than 20 minutes away. I struggle with making new friends, so the idea of not having my old friends to fall back on is really scary, especially with my mental health not being in the best place. I worry I won’t be able to make new connections or share what’s going on in my head. At the same time, I don’t want to burden any new friends with it. I just don’t know what to do.

Reply 1

UniLancashire

Official Rep

16

Original post

by aneikz

I have a close-knit group of friends right now, but they aren’t going to university, and I’m also moving out of the city. While I can visit them and they can visit me, it’s going to be strange not having them less than 20 minutes away. I struggle with making new friends, so the idea of not having my old friends to fall back on is really scary, especially with my mental health not being in the best place. I worry I won’t be able to make new connections or share what’s going on in my head. At the same time, I don’t want to burden any new friends with it. I just don’t know what to do.

Hi @aneikz,

I'm sorry to hear that your mental health isn't in the best place. I understand this and emphasise with you. Before, I get into making friends and some of my tips from my experience on this, universities have student support. You can learn about Keele's mental health being support here: Counselling and mental health - Keele University I used the services at the University of Lancashire, so can't speak on experience at Keele University, but the support I received was great including counselling.

There will be many more students in a similar boat so don't feel like you can't bring this up to new friends either. Facetiming friends and family isn't the same as seeing them in person, but it is a great way to talk about things to familiar faces 🙂

There are many different ways of making friends, and I understand it can seem scary being a shy person myself. Firstly, I would say have patience with making friends. This is something I wish I was aware of before starting university. Everyone is different and will adjust to university life differently and making new friends is the same.

Attend as many events as you can from freshers to university and SU event's after the freshers week. There is something for everyone so just be yourself and get involved with what interests you. Societies are a great way to meet like minded people.

When I moved into halls, I would spend a bit of my time in the communal areas from the kitchen in my flat to social spaces on campus. This way you can start with small talk and build on friendships and relationships with new flat mates and other students. Having your room door open sometimes is also a way to let interactions with new flat mates happen.

Join offer holder social groups, here at the University of Lancashire we have Facebook community groups so I would look into Keele University and see what they have similar. This is a great way to meet potential cohort and ease into the friendships by getting to know each other prior to face to face interactions which helped me with seeing new people for the first time.

Simple things like inviting flat mates for food shops or walks also helped me to build friendships. This can be applied to course peers too, such as having lunch together or going for a walk in between lectures.

Lastly, I would say don't forget to take time for yourself. Socialising and moving into a new setting is a big adjustment and can be draining for some. I know it was for me, so take time to relax and recharge in those busy periods.

Hope this helps even a little bit and makes you feel less nervous about everything! 🙂

Best wishes,
^Zac

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

University of Salford Student Rep

Official Rep

13

Original post

by aneikz

I have a close-knit group of friends right now, but they aren’t going to university, and I’m also moving out of the city. While I can visit them and they can visit me, it’s going to be strange not having them less than 20 minutes away. I struggle with making new friends, so the idea of not having my old friends to fall back on is really scary, especially with my mental health not being in the best place. I worry I won’t be able to make new connections or share what’s going on in my head. At the same time, I don’t want to burden any new friends with it. I just don’t know what to do.

Hi there 😊

I understand how you're feeling. University comes with a lot of big changes, a new environment and new people with new routines to get used to. This is understandably a daunting thing to experience!

You absolutely won't be a burden to any new friends from discussing these things or sharing this with them. Everyone is also going through this change and whilst it can feel like you're the only one dealing with the worries that come with it you definitely won't be, voicing this to others and sharing this experience with them could be really reassuring to others as well as it helping you.

Additionally, whilst it is a scary thing to face, you'll grow from this experience and learn so much along the way. There are so many great new things to discover out there and university gives you a way to do it in a supportive environment. My best advice is to stay openminded and take advantage of every opportunity that comes, join societies and try new things. You'll be in the same boat as everyone else in a new place trying to make new friends and you may be surprised where you find your closest friendships.

Plus, like you say your friends from home will be there to visit and visit you and you can always reach out to them to talk too. You could invite them to join you for a few events and explore this new place together and have some things to look forward to in your calendar 😊

It can be easy to get wrapped up in our heads but the best thing to do is to reach out and talk to others, like you are doing here 💝 if you find things are getting hard, or you could use a bit of extra support, student support services are well equipped to offer advice and an ear to any problems you might be having at any point. I've often reached out at stressful times and found them really helpful and it's reassuring to know there's always someone there if I'm struggling.

You've got this!!

Becky
University of Salford Student Rep

Reply 3

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

19

Original post

by aneikz

I have a close-knit group of friends right now, but they aren’t going to university, and I’m also moving out of the city. While I can visit them and they can visit me, it’s going to be strange not having them less than 20 minutes away. I struggle with making new friends, so the idea of not having my old friends to fall back on is really scary, especially with my mental health not being in the best place. I worry I won’t be able to make new connections or share what’s going on in my head. At the same time, I don’t want to burden any new friends with it. I just don’t know what to do.

Hi,

It’s completely normal to feel worried about making friends when you’re moving away from your current support system. Many people start uni in the exact same situation, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. Many are leaving close friends behind and feeling unsure about how things will turn out.

One thing that can help is remembering that friendships at university often build slowly. You don’t have to find your “people” straight away. Sometimes it starts with small things like talking to someone after a lecture, working together in the library, or joining a society related to something you enjoy. Those small interactions can gradually turn into real friendships. You can also reach out to your university’s wellbeing services or your personal tutor if you’re struggling, as they’re there to support you.

It’s also okay to keep relying on the friends you already have while you’re settling in. Just because you’re in a different place doesn’t mean those friendships disappear. Staying in touch with them can make the transition feel less overwhelming.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to open up about everything straight away either. The most important thing is just giving yourself the chance to meet people and letting connections grow at their own pace.

You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way, and many people who start university feeling the same end up finding good friends once they settle in.

Wishing you all the best,

Tayba
Student Rep

making friends at keele :/

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