Parents want me study locally against my wishes

I believe that there comes a point that everyperson must make a big choice in their lives, such as yours. Your parents won't feel what you will going to the same uni as people in primary and secondary, they won't understand the atmosphere because they're both living your life. At the same time, your parents concerns are very real,and it is a commandment to respect them. But try to explain that it's years of your life you'll be spending and not theirs, and if they're horrible you'll be the one feeling it, not then, and that they've got to let you try and actually love and experience life. Their worries now may lead to your regrets tomorrow. Hopefully if you make enough of a sentimental speech they'll have a change if heart. Lmk how it goes !

I’m in my final year of Sixth Form and about to take a gap year. Since Summer break, me and my parents have had arguments about me wanting to study abroad in England and Scotland, with my top choices being Edinburgh and Manchester. My parents are absolutely insistent that I study at Queens or Ulster when I have expressed no wishes to study there whatsoever.
They say that because I’m neurodivergent, I can’t handle living on my own or with someone else at my age. They then blame me for not being independent enough and then proceed to block opportunities for me to have independence e.g getting a job. But what really pmo is that they claim that I “don’t mix with people”. I like socialising but living in a cliquey environment really doesn’t help when you're shy. Another main reason is that they don’t know anyone else who is also going to the universities I want to, how is that my problem.
They keep guilt tripping me with “they only want what’s best for me” all while not letting me have a say in decisions involving me and I am not going to just have my life decided for me. Then some more guilt tripping with how they’ll worry too much. Whenever I actually have a backbone, I’m somehow the problem for not letting them walk over me.
But what upsets me is seeing that my sister, who studied abroad in Liverpool, is also against me studying abroad, citing the same “I’ll worry about you too much”. It’s just plain self-centered of them, putting their feelings above my own, especially when it is not actually involving them. She says it's different because she moved away with friends. Seeing how my sister met her boyfriend in Liverpool and experienced so many opportunities in Liverpool that she wouldn’t get in Belfast e.g her job working for care kids and branching out of her social circle, it just hurts seeing her be this way.
P.S, some further reasons why I don’t want to study at Queens/Ulster
-imo, Irish people are really cliquey and I just can’t deal with it. Unless u went to primary or secondary school with them, they will not make an effort with you
-Adding on, it’s essentially a primary/secondary school reunion and I would rather leave that part of my life in the past.
-In England and Scotland (excluding Glasgow) they don’t care if you’re Catholic or Protestant.
If anyone can provide advice, it would really help as I feel trapped in this situation. Rant over.

I’m in my final year of Sixth Form and about to take a gap year. Since Summer break, me and my parents have had arguments about me wanting to study abroad in England and Scotland, with my top choices being Edinburgh and Manchester. My parents are absolutely insistent that I study at Queens or Ulster when I have expressed no wishes to study there whatsoever.
They say that because I’m neurodivergent, I can’t handle living on my own or with someone else at my age. They then blame me for not being independent enough and then proceed to block opportunities for me to have independence e.g getting a job. But what really pmo is that they claim that I “don’t mix with people”. I like socialising but living in a cliquey environment really doesn’t help when you're shy. Another main reason is that they don’t know anyone else who is also going to the universities I want to, how is that my problem.
They keep guilt tripping me with “they only want what’s best for me” all while not letting me have a say in decisions involving me and I am not going to just have my life decided for me. Then some more guilt tripping with how they’ll worry too much. Whenever I actually have a backbone, I’m somehow the problem for not letting them walk over me.
But what upsets me is seeing that my sister, who studied abroad in Liverpool, is also against me studying abroad, citing the same “I’ll worry about you too much”. It’s just plain self-centered of them, putting their feelings above my own, especially when it is not actually involving them. She says it's different because she moved away with friends. Seeing how my sister met her boyfriend in Liverpool and experienced so many opportunities in Liverpool that she wouldn’t get in Belfast e.g her job working for care kids and branching out of her social circle, it just hurts seeing her be this way.
P.S, some further reasons why I don’t want to study at Queens/Ulster
-imo, Irish people are really cliquey and I just can’t deal with it. Unless u went to primary or secondary school with them, they will not make an effort with you
-Adding on, it’s essentially a primary/secondary school reunion and I would rather leave that part of my life in the past.
-In England and Scotland (excluding Glasgow) they don’t care if you’re Catholic or Protestant.
If anyone can provide advice, it would really help as I feel trapped in this situation. Rant over.

I get how frustrating it is when your parents try to control where you study, especially when you just want to be independent and follow your own goals. Just because you’re neurodivergent doesn’t mean you can’t handle living on your own—planning and taking small steps can show them you can. Try explaining clearly why Edinburgh or Manchester works for you and what you hope to get out of it, while also listening to their worries. Talk to mentors, teachers, or friends who can support you and give advice—it helps to have allies outside the family. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and your happiness matters, even if your family struggles to see it.
Good luck!

I’m in my final year of Sixth Form and about to take a gap year. Since Summer break, me and my parents have had arguments about me wanting to study abroad in England and Scotland, with my top choices being Edinburgh and Manchester. My parents are absolutely insistent that I study at Queens or Ulster when I have expressed no wishes to study there whatsoever.
They say that because I’m neurodivergent, I can’t handle living on my own or with someone else at my age. They then blame me for not being independent enough and then proceed to block opportunities for me to have independence e.g getting a job. But what really pmo is that they claim that I “don’t mix with people”. I like socialising but living in a cliquey environment really doesn’t help when you're shy. Another main reason is that they don’t know anyone else who is also going to the universities I want to, how is that my problem.
They keep guilt tripping me with “they only want what’s best for me” all while not letting me have a say in decisions involving me and I am not going to just have my life decided for me. Then some more guilt tripping with how they’ll worry too much. Whenever I actually have a backbone, I’m somehow the problem for not letting them walk over me.
But what upsets me is seeing that my sister, who studied abroad in Liverpool, is also against me studying abroad, citing the same “I’ll worry about you too much”. It’s just plain self-centered of them, putting their feelings above my own, especially when it is not actually involving them. She says it's different because she moved away with friends. Seeing how my sister met her boyfriend in Liverpool and experienced so many opportunities in Liverpool that she wouldn’t get in Belfast e.g her job working for care kids and branching out of her social circle, it just hurts seeing her be this way.
P.S, some further reasons why I don’t want to study at Queens/Ulster
-imo, Irish people are really cliquey and I just can’t deal with it. Unless u went to primary or secondary school with them, they will not make an effort with you
-Adding on, it’s essentially a primary/secondary school reunion and I would rather leave that part of my life in the past.
-In England and Scotland (excluding Glasgow) they don’t care if you’re Catholic or Protestant.
If anyone can provide advice, it would really help as I feel trapped in this situation. Rant over.