Disabled siblings
I have a displayed sibling. He's bad at talking and walking. My parents feed him, bring him to the toilet, bathe him etc.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Reply 1
Well done for being frank about your feelings! These will change as you get older, so it is important not to dwell on these at the moment. Try and enjoy this unique time in your life. As you change so will your feelings, and practicalities regarding ongoing care.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousI have a displayed sibling. He's bad at talking and walking. My parents feed him, bring him to the toilet, bathe him etc.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Hey, 👋
This is a really difficult situation to be in, and it makes sense to be on your mind. Thinking about the future can feel very overwhelming and this is completely normal.
The main point is, that you don't have to feel pressured into an all-or-nothing situation which it feels as such currently. Your parents are doing everything they can at the moment to support both you and your sibling, and want the best for both of you. With that being said, this does not mean that one day this responsibility may fall on you in the exact same way. There are options which allow extra support and care, such as respite, carers or supported living. Lots of different kinds of help out there, so you will be able to explore your own opportunities while still being there for your brother.
It is completely okay that you want your own life. Wanting your own space, career and relationships is normal; it doesn't make you selfish or mean you care any less about your brother.
Wishing things were different is honest, a lot of people in similar situations think that but don't say it out loud. Again, this does not mean you don't love him, it just means its hard sometimes and maybe you're wanting some extra support.
You're still young and don't need a full planned out future right now. Things like this usually get figured out gradually, and you'll have more say in it that feels like at the moment.
Essentially, you can still be there for him, while having your own life.
I hope this helps and makes you feel at least a little bit more assured. ❤️
Rebekah Eastwood | Lancaster University Student Ambassador.
Reply 3
13
Original post
by AnonymousI have a displayed sibling. He's bad at talking and walking. My parents feed him, bring him to the toilet, bathe him etc.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Hi. Im not sure if you'll see this but i can understand where you are coming from. It's normal wishing for a normal sibling or being embarrassed, they are emotions that we are entitled to feel. I think you should focus more on the now then the 'what happens if' because the more time you spend thinking is your life really going to be yours, you miss out on this things you wanted.
I think you should also keep in mind your brothers feelings, i'm not saying put his one above your own but think on how he feels. He might rely on another person his whole life and thats not something anyone would be happy about.
Off topic but have you ever watched or read wonder? The sister feels all these emotions and cannot fully express them because her brother who has special needs comes first. So when she meets this boy who prioritises her, she lies and says she does not have a brother. Its a nice movie and shows people the other side of living in a house with a sibling who is disabled or has special needs.
My advice would be, just focus on the now. Spend time with your brother and be his sister not thinking about when you'll be his caretaker. If that ever happens.
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousI have a displayed sibling. He's bad at talking and walking. My parents feed him, bring him to the toilet, bathe him etc.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
Recently, I've been thinking about the future. Unfortunately my parents won't be around forever. And I always wanted to live my own life - have my own home, work life, dating etc - but I don't know how tied down I'm going to be. Obviously I want to be there for my brother but it makes me sad about how my life could potentially not be my own. I was wondering if anyone could talk about their life and how they work around it - maybe by using careers? Idk i wish I had a normal sibling.
I just wanted to rant for a little while and I would appreciate it if anyone who was older or who had a plan would be able to speak.
It's that everyone should do their own without secondhandedly. Then, there's no problem. You're very kind. Have you thought of wheelchair for him?
Reply 5
Original post
by Hardest JobIt's that everyone should do their own without secondhandedly. Then, there's no problem. You're very kind. Have you thought of wheelchair for him?
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