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Same uni as bf

Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

Reply 1

Honestly, I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all.

You’re not choosing it just because of him ..you said yourself you genuinely love the course and the campus, and that’s the most important thing. If it’s right for you academically and personally, then the fact your boyfriend is at the same uni is just an extra, not the reason.
Also, being at the same uni doesn’t mean you’re “copying” him or getting in the way of his life, especially if you’re on different campuses. You’ll still both have your own space, your own friends, and your own uni experience. It actually sounds like quite a healthy balance close enough to see each other, but not so close that you’re living on top of each other.

I think the bigger question is whether you’d want this uni if he wasn’t there. And from what you’ve said, it sounds like yes. So don’t talk yourself out of something good just because you’re worried how it looks.

At the end of the day, people will always have opinions, but they’re not the ones living your life. Choose the place that feels right for you. If that also means being nearer to someone you care about, that’s not a weakness that’s just life.

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

hiya,
I don't think it's a bad idea at all, but I get why you might feel like that!! in my opinion, not going to uni souly because your bf will be close isn't any better than going to a uni souly because your bf will be close!!!
It sounds as if you really love the course, and if this is what gets you back into uni, then that's great :smile:)!!! Have you talked to him about it?

Reply 3

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

How does he feel about this?

Reply 4

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.


Hi,

It’s okay to be at the same university as you’ve mentioned you like the course and campus, your decision isn’t based off wanting to be close to him.

You’ll be at different campuses and have different timetables, so you’ll both still have your own space and routines.

If anything it can be nice having that support nearby while still having your own space to grow and meet new people.

As long as you both keep your independence and don’t rely on each other for everything, it can work really well.

Tayba
Student Rep

Reply 5

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

depends on the relationship tbh
Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

Hey,
I think its great that your putting yourself back out there and continuing with the university experience.
As you mentioned you love the course and campus and that is the most important part as that is what your paying for and where you will spend your time and commitment for a couple of years.
Being at the same university as your bf is an added bonus and as you will be on separate campuses and have different timetables, this is the perfect balance. There is still room for you both to venture out and meet new people and spend time with classmates/friends and try new experiences.
It's nice as he can help you settle in and spend more time together but also become independent, but if your still feeling conscious about this, definitely speak to him and address any concerns and this may help relieve any worries :smile:
Hope this helps!!

Sameeha,
Student at DMU

Reply 7

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.
Hello,

As long as you’re aware that you’re making this choice based off your interests and likes and not due to anything else, then go ahead. Do reflect on this regularly, so your decisions are not influenced by your BF’s presence and as long as you’re doing what makes you happy then there’s no issue.

Good luck!
Malak- UOS
Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.


Whether if you think this move is good or not for your relationship is one question that no one can answer for you. However, if you truly decided on the university based on the university's and course's merits, and your boyfriend did not factor much into your considerations, then that's just a good uni for you and you should go for it regardless of whether if your boyfriend is there or not.

Reply 9

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

Hi @Anonymous👋

Hope you are well. That seems like a good idea to be honest. It looks like you like the campus and course and genuinely want to be there and it does not really matter much if your boyfriend is there. It is good to be closer to each other and you may find it better but I would not worry too much about it because it really does not seem like you are there because of him, it seems more like you genuinely like to be there for the course and university. You would not be getting in the way of his life either so don't worry too much as you mentioned its a different campus anyway and you are there for other reasons not just him.

Personally I can share my experience for this. I am on the same campus as my boyfriend and I met him a few months before I got to university and we both did not know that we were going to the same university and only got together in university. We are on the same campus and so we don't have much distance except that he goes off every weekend to games with his team. I find it great having the closeness to him but also we don't see each other all the time as we both are busy with stuff anyway and so even if you are the same university, it is not that bad. You may not see them much anyway cause of how busy you will be and when you do it feels great 😊

Essex Student Rep- Lavanya💜
Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

Hey,
Since you genuinely love the course and the campus for your own reasons, you aren't "copying" anyone. Because you'll be on different campuses, you'll naturally have the space to build your own separate social life and university experience while still having a familiar support nearby. My best advice is to trust your instincts and stick with the choice that makes you excited for your future. If the university is the right fit for your career goals, then you’re going there for all the right reasons!

Hope this helps!😊

Rachel
(Third Year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism

Reply 11

Honestly it doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all. You’ve said you genuinely like the course and the uni, so that should be the main thing. Being at the same uni doesn’t mean you’re copying him, especially if you’re on different campuses.
As long as you both still have your own space and lives, it can actually be a nice balance. Maybe just talk it through with him so you both feel comfortable about it.

Reply 12

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey guys, so I dropped out of uni and now finishing the year off on a gap year, I've reapplied to uni but it's the same as my bf. We'll be on different campus' so I'm not worried about that but do you think its a bad idea, copying him or good for us to be close? I really don't know. I'm not basing my decision based off that like I genuinley love the course and the campus but I don't wanna seem as if i'm getting in the way of his life. If i was still at the uni I dropped out of, we'd be apart anyways.

Hi there!

I don't think this is a bad idea. You haven't chosen the uni so that you are close to him so it isn't a weird decision, and like you said you won't be living together or on the same campus so you won't be together all the time.

I think when it gets a bit awkward is when people live together, or in the same building just as it can get a bit messy if anything was to happen, and even when you are together it is good to have separate friends too. However, you aren't doing this so it isn't strange!

Lots of people also go to uni and find a boyfriend there and therefore spend a fair bit of time together, so it isn't like it is a strange thing to be close to your boyfriend at uni (location wise) and nobody else would find it weird. If he is also happy with it then I don't see why it won't work!

Even if anything does go wrong, you will be completely fine so don't let this factor into your decision either. I am sure it wouldn't but you never know what life can throw at you, and I have had so many friends who have boyfriends/ex boyfriends at the same uni and they never even run into them!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

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