friendship advice - feeling lonely
hi! I’m hoping to get some advice regarding trying to make new friendships
For context, I’m a first year at quite a small university in my hometown and I’ve got 5 weeks left until summer
I’m just hoping for some advice in trying to make some new friends before the end of the year
For some context, I do law and there’s supposed to be around 30 of us but only around 16 turn up and on some days it’s about 8 of us! I think generally I’ve made some good surface level friendships but because after the first week we kind of went into “groups” I feel like I hardly see some people who I think I would get along really well with.
At first I was really happy with my “groups” of closer friends however a couple of other friends joined and would talk really horribly about a few people who hardly came in and it made me feel quite uncomfortable as it was genuinely beyond just moaning about someone. Also since a new person joined our group in around October I just had a sense that something was a bit amiss. The group now kind of weirdly worships this guy and I kind of feel like they really don’t like me and it’s really upsetting me. For example, this morning we just started again after easter and I was having a really nice chat with some of the other girls in my class and then my “group” come and this one girl who was also the one who started really talking about this other girl said to the others about going to spoons on Wednesday as the four of them to discuss things. I think if the others weren’t there I would have asked what that was about but I didn’t really say much but it left me feeling sad for the rest of the day which is really silly but I couldn’t help it
For some context even though it’s my hometown uni it’s a good hour from me - when the new person (who I got the vibe about) joined everyone wanted to go out near our uni but I said about possibly mixing and matching so sometimes they came nearer to me as I’d have to get the bus back alone and the area is rough so idk if I’d feel comfortable actually being tipsy trying to get back! I feel like since I didn’t go though they’ve slowly been building up resentment towards me which isn’t why I really really feel they don’t like me
- this is also strange as the friend who was talking about everyone nearly sabatagedour group project and we had to get marked separately which will happen this week so maybe there will be even more drama there
I feel like I should also add that the people at uni are my only “friends” rn as last year my closest friend for a while was really horrible to me and as all of our friends we made together I’ve kind of been alone andrevetiy I am feeling lonely. I feel like this year I’ve kind of done myself a disservice and I do really want to make some more friends to do things with in Summer and I’m just hoping for some advice
at uni for these last 5 weeks and more generally I definetly do overthink things w friends I think bc I’ve been burned by the fallout w my old friend but I would really appreciate some advice ecen if it’s brutal hah
Also just to add I have done some thing with some of the other girls in my uni class and it’s been nice - they are usually the ones to organise so I’m not sure whether to ask or not - also not sure whether to invite my “group” as whenever i suggest it to them half of them just moan about them for no reason - I think one girl would go but idk!
also i’m not sure if it’s worth trying to move groups and sit w different people during our breaks as i don’t really want there to be a big dramma as I’m also supposed to go to a concert w them (but I’m honestly not sure if it’s going to happen)
This could also be me overthinking but I do feel i’ve been really quiet around them as a form of self protection so if like to improve on that
oh also that one girl also seems quite insure as she keeps picking on diff people in the group like the other day i was wearing grey new balance trainers and she said it was giving homeless man? which was quite strange and honestly quite rude to the homeless ☹️
also please just more general friendship advice if u have any i’m thinking of trying to find a better part time job as at the min i only work 3 hours on saturday and 3 hours sunday
thank you for any advice and for reading!!
For context, I’m a first year at quite a small university in my hometown and I’ve got 5 weeks left until summer
I’m just hoping for some advice in trying to make some new friends before the end of the year
For some context, I do law and there’s supposed to be around 30 of us but only around 16 turn up and on some days it’s about 8 of us! I think generally I’ve made some good surface level friendships but because after the first week we kind of went into “groups” I feel like I hardly see some people who I think I would get along really well with.
At first I was really happy with my “groups” of closer friends however a couple of other friends joined and would talk really horribly about a few people who hardly came in and it made me feel quite uncomfortable as it was genuinely beyond just moaning about someone. Also since a new person joined our group in around October I just had a sense that something was a bit amiss. The group now kind of weirdly worships this guy and I kind of feel like they really don’t like me and it’s really upsetting me. For example, this morning we just started again after easter and I was having a really nice chat with some of the other girls in my class and then my “group” come and this one girl who was also the one who started really talking about this other girl said to the others about going to spoons on Wednesday as the four of them to discuss things. I think if the others weren’t there I would have asked what that was about but I didn’t really say much but it left me feeling sad for the rest of the day which is really silly but I couldn’t help it
For some context even though it’s my hometown uni it’s a good hour from me - when the new person (who I got the vibe about) joined everyone wanted to go out near our uni but I said about possibly mixing and matching so sometimes they came nearer to me as I’d have to get the bus back alone and the area is rough so idk if I’d feel comfortable actually being tipsy trying to get back! I feel like since I didn’t go though they’ve slowly been building up resentment towards me which isn’t why I really really feel they don’t like me
- this is also strange as the friend who was talking about everyone nearly sabatagedour group project and we had to get marked separately which will happen this week so maybe there will be even more drama there
I feel like I should also add that the people at uni are my only “friends” rn as last year my closest friend for a while was really horrible to me and as all of our friends we made together I’ve kind of been alone andrevetiy I am feeling lonely. I feel like this year I’ve kind of done myself a disservice and I do really want to make some more friends to do things with in Summer and I’m just hoping for some advice
at uni for these last 5 weeks and more generally I definetly do overthink things w friends I think bc I’ve been burned by the fallout w my old friend but I would really appreciate some advice ecen if it’s brutal hah
Also just to add I have done some thing with some of the other girls in my uni class and it’s been nice - they are usually the ones to organise so I’m not sure whether to ask or not - also not sure whether to invite my “group” as whenever i suggest it to them half of them just moan about them for no reason - I think one girl would go but idk!
also i’m not sure if it’s worth trying to move groups and sit w different people during our breaks as i don’t really want there to be a big dramma as I’m also supposed to go to a concert w them (but I’m honestly not sure if it’s going to happen)
This could also be me overthinking but I do feel i’ve been really quiet around them as a form of self protection so if like to improve on that
oh also that one girl also seems quite insure as she keeps picking on diff people in the group like the other day i was wearing grey new balance trainers and she said it was giving homeless man? which was quite strange and honestly quite rude to the homeless ☹️
also please just more general friendship advice if u have any i’m thinking of trying to find a better part time job as at the min i only work 3 hours on saturday and 3 hours sunday
thank you for any advice and for reading!!
Reply 1
I guess find topics that both or all of you guys are interested in and talk to them about it be open but not always around and maybe join other clubs in your uni where you may find people to who have similar interests to you but people who are not very nice to you or ignore you they do not deserve go be friends with you
you will find friends do not worry there are always people out there who will be friends with you
you will find friends do not worry there are always people out there who will be friends with you
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- feeling lonely and bored at uni
- Advice
- Uni Advice?
- struggling to make friends
- Making friends - Grad in undergraduate medicine
- lonely at uni
- What was everyone's first year Uni experience like?
- I don't have any close friends
- Feeling lonely and I want to make friends
- My Third Year Experience and Tips for Students
- Not having a best friend
- Having a hard time making friends at college
- I have no friends at uni :(
- Friendship advice needed!!
- Going back to Uni
- Hard time making friends
- How to Make Friends at University
- From Airport Anxiety to Feeling at Home: My first weeks as an International Student!
- Making Friends Outside the Classroom
- Struggling making friends at University
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 months ago
Best friend is not coming to my birthday party and is instead hanging out with his gfLast reply 9 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 9 months ago
can someone give me advice or like can u relateLast reply 9 months ago
How do I tell my parents I might not graduate for another year?Last reply 10 months ago
Why would a close friend decide to end our friendship?Last reply 10 months ago
How do I tell my parents I'm moving away for uni?Last reply 10 months ago
How does uni accom work? My mums on benefits+she says she cant afford a 2 bed whenigo
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
