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How do I know if I like someone?

I’m in a pretty conflicted state about whether or not I experience attraction to people. I had a relationship that lasted from autumn 2024 to summer 2025 and I wasn’t really into him that much - we ended up persing a sexu@l relationship and I hated this. After this I identified with asexu@lity a bit, I struggled with this but it also made sense for me, I could think of crushes in the last where now I think back and realise I just wanted to have a connection with someone, not necessarily in a romantic way.

However this guy that I thought I liked prior to my aforementioned relationship has come back into my life. I remember experiencing cliche things like butterflies in your stomach for the first time around him but I suppressed my feelings as I didn’t want a relationship at that point. Now he’s back he’s giving a lot of signals that he is into me, i really think he’s so sweet and funny, he’s always interested in what I have to say and in all honestly I would descibe him as good-looking.

I genuinely really would like to talk to him and get to know him better, but I can’t figure out if I want a romantic connection with him or not. It’s so annoying because I’ve been ovulating this week as well, so I’ve been thinking a bit more romantically about him - but it feels like that is going to come crashing down.

I’m trying to tell myself we would never work. Reasons like he’s a devout Christian and I’m extremely atheist. But this just makes me feel… gutted, I guess.

I also hate how feelings fluctuate so much in line with menstrual cycle phases, nothing I ever feel is consistent. I have harsh up and down moods that drive me insane. I can see the same pattern with feelings toward people.

I’m also beginning to wonder whether feeling depressed has just significantly lowered by libido. I’m ranting now but I just don’t have a clue and I want to work out how I really feel so badly if anyone has any advice.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m in a pretty conflicted state about whether or not I experience attraction to people. I had a relationship that lasted from autumn 2024 to summer 2025 and I wasn’t really into him that much - we ended up persing a sexu@l relationship and I hated this. After this I identified with asexu@lity a bit, I struggled with this but it also made sense for me, I could think of crushes in the last where now I think back and realise I just wanted to have a connection with someone, not necessarily in a romantic way.
However this guy that I thought I liked prior to my aforementioned relationship has come back into my life. I remember experiencing cliche things like butterflies in your stomach for the first time around him but I suppressed my feelings as I didn’t want a relationship at that point. Now he’s back he’s giving a lot of signals that he is into me, i really think he’s so sweet and funny, he’s always interested in what I have to say and in all honestly I would descibe him as good-looking.
I genuinely really would like to talk to him and get to know him better, but I can’t figure out if I want a romantic connection with him or not. It’s so annoying because I’ve been ovulating this week as well, so I’ve been thinking a bit more romantically about him - but it feels like that is going to come crashing down.
I’m trying to tell myself we would never work. Reasons like he’s a devout Christian and I’m extremely atheist. But this just makes me feel… gutted, I guess.
I also hate how feelings fluctuate so much in line with menstrual cycle phases, nothing I ever feel is consistent. I have harsh up and down moods that drive me insane. I can see the same pattern with feelings toward people.
I’m also beginning to wonder whether feeling depressed has just significantly lowered by libido. I’m ranting now but I just don’t have a clue and I want to work out how I really feel so badly if anyone has any advice.

I kinda forgot to say in the post but my last relationship ended with me experiencing sexu@l harassment from my ex. So I don’t know if that impacted the way I feel about relationships and s*x? I’m still struggling with the fallout I feel disgusted that I slept with someone I didn’t even like that much.

Reply 2

anosmianAcrimony

Original post

by Anonymous

Reply 3

anosmianAcrimony

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m in a pretty conflicted state about whether or not I experience attraction to people. I had a relationship that lasted from autumn 2024 to summer 2025 and I wasn’t really into him that much - we ended up persing a sexu@l relationship and I hated this. After this I identified with asexu@lity a bit, I struggled with this but it also made sense for me, I could think of crushes in the last where now I think back and realise I just wanted to have a connection with someone, not necessarily in a romantic way.
However this guy that I thought I liked prior to my aforementioned relationship has come back into my life. I remember experiencing cliche things like butterflies in your stomach for the first time around him but I suppressed my feelings as I didn’t want a relationship at that point. Now he’s back he’s giving a lot of signals that he is into me, i really think he’s so sweet and funny, he’s always interested in what I have to say and in all honestly I would descibe him as good-looking.
I genuinely really would like to talk to him and get to know him better, but I can’t figure out if I want a romantic connection with him or not. It’s so annoying because I’ve been ovulating this week as well, so I’ve been thinking a bit more romantically about him - but it feels like that is going to come crashing down.
I’m trying to tell myself we would never work. Reasons like he’s a devout Christian and I’m extremely atheist. But this just makes me feel… gutted, I guess.
I also hate how feelings fluctuate so much in line with menstrual cycle phases, nothing I ever feel is consistent. I have harsh up and down moods that drive me insane. I can see the same pattern with feelings toward people.
I’m also beginning to wonder whether feeling depressed has just significantly lowered by libido. I’m ranting now but I just don’t have a clue and I want to work out how I really feel so badly if anyone has any advice.

This is all pretty difficult to deal with but it sounds like you're doing your best and getting on well. The mood swings will settle down with time. And it's entirely possible feeling depressed, and the bad experience you've had, have lowered your libido.

This is completely normal to have feelings for a guy especially if he's funny, good-looking, and showing an interest in you. You're asking the right question when you wonder, "should I approach this guy romantically or just as a friend?"

"I'm atheist and he's a devout Christian" is a very reasonable concern. Religion is one of the big topics that a successful couple have to be compatible about (some of the others being money, kids, sex, politics). I guess it depends on what kind of Christian. If he believes in God and actively worships, but is basically a tolerant person, comfortable with your atheism, happy to live and let live, that would be one thing and a relationship with him might well work. If he's more into the evangelical / conservative / sex-shaming / homophobic / misogynistic complex, you could find it very unpleasant.

Whatever happens, don't put yourself under too much pressure or beat yourself up for having bad experiences. What you're feeling is completely reasonable and you're asking all the right questions. You may have to be comfortable with fumbling along, making mistakes, putting yourself out there, working towards a happier and more fulfilled life - that's what essentially everyone has to do early in their romantic careers. It's a learning experience and some things have to be learned the hard way.

Reply 4

Hardest Job

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m in a pretty conflicted state about whether or not I experience attraction to people. I had a relationship that lasted from autumn 2024 to summer 2025 and I wasn’t really into him that much - we ended up persing a sexu@l relationship and I hated this. After this I identified with asexu@lity a bit, I struggled with this but it also made sense for me, I could think of crushes in the last where now I think back and realise I just wanted to have a connection with someone, not necessarily in a romantic way.
However this guy that I thought I liked prior to my aforementioned relationship has come back into my life. I remember experiencing cliche things like butterflies in your stomach for the first time around him but I suppressed my feelings as I didn’t want a relationship at that point. Now he’s back he’s giving a lot of signals that he is into me, i really think he’s so sweet and funny, he’s always interested in what I have to say and in all honestly I would descibe him as good-looking.
I genuinely really would like to talk to him and get to know him better, but I can’t figure out if I want a romantic connection with him or not. It’s so annoying because I’ve been ovulating this week as well, so I’ve been thinking a bit more romantically about him - but it feels like that is going to come crashing down.
I’m trying to tell myself we would never work. Reasons like he’s a devout Christian and I’m extremely atheist. But this just makes me feel… gutted, I guess.
I also hate how feelings fluctuate so much in line with menstrual cycle phases, nothing I ever feel is consistent. I have harsh up and down moods that drive me insane. I can see the same pattern with feelings toward people.
I’m also beginning to wonder whether feeling depressed has just significantly lowered by libido. I’m ranting now but I just don’t have a clue and I want to work out how I really feel so badly if anyone has any advice.