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I have no confidence whatsoever
I just came back from a party. The party was held at at girls house in Sloane Square, London.
It was full of really good looking girls, preppy boys and there was a real free spiritied atmosphere. However, about half way through the party most of my friends were dancing with girls, pulling them, stuff like that. Whilst I was sitting on a sofa on my own, doing nothing. I decided to drink to numb the pain but now that I've sobered up I've realised that it's just made it hurt even more.
I wouldn't say I'm bad looking, I'm just above average probably but no matter what I do, how hard I try girls ever seem to speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not English (Italian) I always seem out of place at these things. I feel dreadful at the moment, I'm 17 and still haven't even kissed a girl let alone come anywhere close losing my virginity; it's just always seemed to me that girls don't like me and it's making my confidence take a real battering. I can bearly communicate with them without being drunk for christ sake. I just want to enjoy my youth but without all the stupid teenage angst issues. Does anybody know what I can do to perhaps progress my non existant love life?
It was full of really good looking girls, preppy boys and there was a real free spiritied atmosphere. However, about half way through the party most of my friends were dancing with girls, pulling them, stuff like that. Whilst I was sitting on a sofa on my own, doing nothing. I decided to drink to numb the pain but now that I've sobered up I've realised that it's just made it hurt even more.
I wouldn't say I'm bad looking, I'm just above average probably but no matter what I do, how hard I try girls ever seem to speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not English (Italian) I always seem out of place at these things. I feel dreadful at the moment, I'm 17 and still haven't even kissed a girl let alone come anywhere close losing my virginity; it's just always seemed to me that girls don't like me and it's making my confidence take a real battering. I can bearly communicate with them without being drunk for christ sake. I just want to enjoy my youth but without all the stupid teenage angst issues. Does anybody know what I can do to perhaps progress my non existant love life?
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You've gotta just give it a go at one point. Think about it, are you scared of making a fool of yourself dancing so that you didn't join them? I'm sure sitting on your jacks on the sofa would make yourself look even more inept. Get up and give it a go, without caring for just one moment. After the first time you gain confidence and just build on it. Don't be waiting around for girls to START talking to you either, initiate the convo's yourself or your going to get no-where. Sorry but you really need some initiative and desire to get out of it and do things for yourself. Life doesn't just fall on your lap.
Reply 2
Right, someone negged me for my last post (rightly so, cos I was being a prick). Anyway, obviously this is a serious matter for you, so let me offer some of my worldly wisdom on the matter.
Seems to me like your teen angst issues are causing you to enter into a downward spiral in confidence. You say you're above average in looks and try hard to speak to girls but inspite of these you make no progress. Perhaps you're trying too hard! Perhaps girls can sense that you're the type who thinks themselves to be above average, trying it on - this is off-putting to most. You also mention wanting to lose your virginity - perhaps girls can sense such desperation.
Look at what your friends who appear to be successful with the ladies are doing - they're just having fun, right? Just chill and relax and girls will naturally gravitate towards you. Just be the guy who's out to have some fun with no hidden agenda and no care in the world - trust me, girls will start noticing and your confidence will come back in no time.
Seems to me like your teen angst issues are causing you to enter into a downward spiral in confidence. You say you're above average in looks and try hard to speak to girls but inspite of these you make no progress. Perhaps you're trying too hard! Perhaps girls can sense that you're the type who thinks themselves to be above average, trying it on - this is off-putting to most. You also mention wanting to lose your virginity - perhaps girls can sense such desperation.
Look at what your friends who appear to be successful with the ladies are doing - they're just having fun, right? Just chill and relax and girls will naturally gravitate towards you. Just be the guy who's out to have some fun with no hidden agenda and no care in the world - trust me, girls will start noticing and your confidence will come back in no time.
Reply 5
if you actually talk to half of these girls you would find you don't actually like them, that much. if your english is as good as you type then the fact your from italy i would say is a good thing.i'd rather be known as the italian guy than the funny guy, the stupid guy. the weird guy etc etc
Reply 6
Chicks dig italian guys, whats your problem. You should be banging them right now.
In terms of your overall confidence, I find that confidence grows as people mature. You will find that being involved in social situations (even negative ones) helps to improve your confidence in the long term and when you are a confident person in general, this will motivate you more to talk to girls and integrate into the group.
When I was 17, I was very shy and your experience sounds similar to one I had. I'm 19 now and I would consider myself quite confident, and I believe that the different aspects of my life which have placed me in a variety of social situations have allowed me to develop this confidence. I had alot of problems in my first job with a nasty manager, but even though this was a negative experience, it helped me to stick up for myself and develop my overall confidence. I also found that doing my A2's allowed my confidence to grow as I was placed in a group of very different minds and viewpoints, and this required me to adapt to the situation.
What I'm saying is the best way to develop your confidence is through being granted the opportunity to experience such social situations. Maybe join a club or find a job in a department store (for example) as this puts you in a controlled social situation (communicating with a team).
When I was 17, I was very shy and your experience sounds similar to one I had. I'm 19 now and I would consider myself quite confident, and I believe that the different aspects of my life which have placed me in a variety of social situations have allowed me to develop this confidence. I had alot of problems in my first job with a nasty manager, but even though this was a negative experience, it helped me to stick up for myself and develop my overall confidence. I also found that doing my A2's allowed my confidence to grow as I was placed in a group of very different minds and viewpoints, and this required me to adapt to the situation.
What I'm saying is the best way to develop your confidence is through being granted the opportunity to experience such social situations. Maybe join a club or find a job in a department store (for example) as this puts you in a controlled social situation (communicating with a team).
Reply 8
Anonymous
I just came back from a party. The party was held at at girls house in Sloane Square, London.
It was full of really good looking girls, preppy boys and there was a real free spiritied atmosphere. However, about half way through the party most of my friends were dancing with girls, pulling them, stuff like that. Whilst I was sitting on a sofa on my own, doing nothing. I decided to drink to numb the pain but now that I've sobered up I've realised that it's just made it hurt even more.
I wouldn't say I'm bad looking, I'm just above average probably but no matter what I do, how hard I try girls ever seem to speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not English (Italian) I always seem out of place at these things. I feel dreadful at the moment, I'm 17 and still haven't even kissed a girl let alone come anywhere close losing my virginity; it's just always seemed to me that girls don't like me and it's making my confidence take a real battering. I can bearly communicate with them without being drunk for christ sake. I just want to enjoy my youth but without all the stupid teenage angst issues. Does anybody know what I can do to perhaps progress my non existant love life?
It was full of really good looking girls, preppy boys and there was a real free spiritied atmosphere. However, about half way through the party most of my friends were dancing with girls, pulling them, stuff like that. Whilst I was sitting on a sofa on my own, doing nothing. I decided to drink to numb the pain but now that I've sobered up I've realised that it's just made it hurt even more.
I wouldn't say I'm bad looking, I'm just above average probably but no matter what I do, how hard I try girls ever seem to speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not English (Italian) I always seem out of place at these things. I feel dreadful at the moment, I'm 17 and still haven't even kissed a girl let alone come anywhere close losing my virginity; it's just always seemed to me that girls don't like me and it's making my confidence take a real battering. I can bearly communicate with them without being drunk for christ sake. I just want to enjoy my youth but without all the stupid teenage angst issues. Does anybody know what I can do to perhaps progress my non existant love life?
aah party held by sophie philippe by any chance?
i see no problem in withdrawing you from having a good chance with someone. and it doesnt always have to be topnotch confidence, sometimes showing a bit of your natural character is just as 'enlightning', they'll like you for who you are, without you having to 'fake' confidence, or trying to boost it with some insane consumption of alcohol after which words just sputter out. and maybe especially the word 'shag'. summing up, be yourself.
Reply 9
Meus
I know what you mean, feeling out of place. Eventually I stopped caring. Then the confidence followed
That's how I became confident too. I had to really crash out and hit rock bottom before this happened though, and I ended up getting into tons of trouble (suspended from school twice and threatened with expulsion) as a result.
I think those who are brought up to be confident and those who aren't belittled and
on at every opportunity are very lucky. 
Reply 11
Mate if you send me a message using your real account or just make another one and send me a message (cant send messages to anonymous) I will give you a few links which will turn your life around, as long as you are prepared to make it change.
Reply 12
JDon
Mate if you send me a message using your real account or just make another one and send me a message (cant send messages to anonymous) I will give you a few links which will turn your life around, as long as you are prepared to make it change.
Can I have them please? I don't need them. But I'm curious.
Reply 13
Vampyrcorn
Can I have them please? I don't need them. But I'm curious.
only guys would appreciate them
Reply 14
Here's the problem, you didn't drink enough...
Reply 15
Thanks for the some and of the advice guys, I do appreciate it. One of you knew which party I went to 
Funny thing was, I was pretty rat arsed when I wrote that; I have no idea how I didn't screw up any of the grammar.
Funny thing was, I was pretty rat arsed when I wrote that; I have no idea how I didn't screw up any of the grammar.
JDon
Mate if you send me a message using your real account or just make another one and send me a message (cant send messages to anonymous) I will give you a few links which will turn your life around, as long as you are prepared to make it change.
Sharing is caring!!
Spread the love around man!!
Reply 18
Anonymous
Thanks for the some and of the advice guys, I do appreciate it. One of you knew which party I went to
Funny thing was, I was pretty rat arsed when I wrote that; I have no idea how I didn't screw up any of the grammar.
Funny thing was, I was pretty rat arsed when I wrote that; I have no idea how I didn't screw up any of the grammar.
hah lol she goes to my school and has already earned herself a reputation in 3-4 months. easy to guess. hated her first one, and ppl come along to be so desperately gossiped about later on..
Reply 19
Anonymous
hah lol she goes to my school and has already earned herself a reputation in 3-4 months. easy to guess. hated her first one, and ppl come along to be so desperately gossiped about later on..
haha make that a third person who thinks they know who sophie philippe is. I'd PM you with the school to check if you weren't anonymous but I'm not posting it to check on here as everyone will then know your school if I'm right...
Looks like she sure does have a bit of a reputation!
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