The joys of the english language! Watch

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ClosetGinger
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#21
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#21
Yes I see that english is difficult but it doesnt explain why so many British tourists refuse to learn other languages and just think that repeating our crazy language LOUDER will make everyone understand.. "DO YOU SPEAK ENGAAALEEESH?!"

But trust me Hebrew is bloody difficult to learn as well
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Profesh
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#22
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#22
Ah. Love.
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Richy Rich$$
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#23
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apparently Finnish and Hungarian are meant to be 2 of the worlds hardest languages, with all the cases and stuff
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emily87
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#24
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(Original post by Onearmedbandit)
Oh no, English is great! There are about 80-100,000 words if I'm not mistaken. Compare that to French's measly 20,000 and you've got a winner. I think only Arabic or something has more words, but I can't remember. Anyway now that I've forgotten the point of this post, I'll just say that with SO many words (and most people don't even know a third of them!) there are nearly always synonims you can use And thus prevent any confusion whatsoever.

Besides, I bet other languages have crazy stuff! If I wasn't such a philistine I'd come back with a hard-hitting example, and knock all your socks off! :cool:
German is crazy :rolleyes: , http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/jod/texts/twain.german.html
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Richy Rich$$
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#25
its not too bad when u get used to it and its very satisfying when u can speak it well
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emily87
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Richy Rich$$)
its not too bad when u get used to it and its very satisfying when u can speak it well
I know, I love it. All the same i think that bit of Twain is hilarious :p:
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SsEe
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#27
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#27
English has so many irregularities that must make it impossible to learn. And it's weird how native english speakers just know them without thinking.
Japanese has 2 irregular verbs or something (but their language is crazy with particles that mean nothing on their own and all 9 zillion kanji to learn).
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Richy Rich$$
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#28
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I dont know how foreigners learn English. We just make everything so complicated. Like we use the passive all the time with all our, would have been etc. And Only english could have contradictory signs in shops, like , all items not on sale.
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Trousers
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(Original post by Richy Rich$$)
I dont know how foreigners learn English. We just make everything so complicated. Like we use the passive all the time with all our, would have been etc. And Only english could have contradictory signs in shops, like , all items not on sale.
Using any language badly is bound to result in confusion. Having signs like 'all items not on sale' would confuse not only foreigners but native speakers too, because it's wrong. That doesn't mean the English language itself is tricky (although it is, of course!).
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Aitch
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#30
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(Original post by Sarky)
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish Furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8)At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid
12) There was a row among the oarsman about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
1Cool After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The wind winds the windmill.

Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind!

For example.....if you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
If the plural of index is indices, and the plural of matrix is matrices, then the plural of fax is faeces, and this finally explains all this c**p in my pigeon-hole...

Aitch
Yes, I did make this up, but not just now!
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Aitch
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Sarky)
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish Furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8)At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid
12) There was a row among the oarsman about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
1Cool After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The wind winds the windmill.

Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind!

For example.....if you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Q: How do you pronounce ghoti?



A: fish.

gh as in rough
o as in women
ti as in initiative...

Aitch
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KandyKane
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#32
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#32
I don´t understand how people can say that English is a difficult language. :confused: It´s one of the easiest around.
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KandyKane
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#33
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(Original post by Richy Rich$$)
apparently Finnish and Hungarian are meant to be 2 of the worlds hardest languages, with all the cases and stuff
Yes, Finnish is one of the most difficult languages to learn, if not the most difficult. It´s almost impossible for non-native speakers to get right. But luckily I´m a native speaker. :p:

If anybody wants to hear examples, tell me.
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blissy
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Aitch)
Q: How do you pronounce ghoti?



A: fish.

gh as in rough
o as in women
ti as in initiative...

Aitch
Been there, done that :p:
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ChemistBoy
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#35
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#35
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

[pedant]shouldn't that be "haven't" not don't[/pedant]
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