Please help me

Hey all. Ive been with my current bf for almost 3 years now and weve had our ups and downs like everyone. I originally thought i only ever wanted to be with him but for the last year ive started to notice that i really need to be with other people and have new experiences as he is the only person ive ever been with (were both 18). He said that he understands that if i need to take a break or be with other people then thats fine but the problem is the people i like are either taken or close friends of his so i cant really do anything about this. Another problem is a friend of both of ours who already has a gf ive grown to like him a hell of a lot. I havent wanted to have sex for a number of months and i think this is the problem as i no longer seem to have sexual thoughts about my bf whereas i do about other people and this other guy i like, obviously this has a bad effect on the relationship. I really don't know what to do, hes been my rock for so long but i need a bad boy and some excitement. We're going to the same university together in september aswell. Any advice on any of this would be great.

Thanks in advance

x

Reply 1

Girl♥RadioHeart

Hey,

This is similar to the way I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I realised I loved him like a brother, not a lover, and after 2 years I was bored and needed excitement... I didn't love him anymore so I could easily get out but it sounds like you still love your boyfriend or at least care about him prefusely...I met someone at Uni and am now with him and have never been as excited or happy so bare this in mind, going to Uni will involve meeting hundreds of new people...lots of guys...do you really want to be tied down in a relationship? It can work, I have friends who are in relationships with their childhood sweethearts and are happy, but there'll be lots of temptation at Uni and you need to think about yourself, however hard and selfish that seems...

If you want to stay with him I'd suggest taking up a new hobby, by yourself, that you can do alone and then talk to him about, reviving some excitement and something different in your relationship whilst still giving you the opportunity to find excitement and do new things. Take comfort in the fact that you have your own life but still have him to come back to... You could even do something new and exciting together, something zany like abseiling or canoeing or something simple like designating one night a week to surprise each other. Why not go on a "first date" and talk and ask questions? Even playing games are a good way to liven things up.

As for the sexual aspect, why not buy some sexy lingerie to excite him? Talk to him about your fantasies. Try new things and experiment.

After this, if you're still finding it boring and wanting out, you should be honest with him and tell him how you feel. You can't lie in situations like this, to yourself or to him... It may hurt at first but after that it will get easier, I promise...

You really shouldn't fall for his best friends or people who are taken, but I understand how you feel and know you can't control your emotions. Try distancing yourself from these people and think about why you're with your boyfriend... you must really love him to be with him for 3 years.

At the end of the day, its only you who can decide what you want... if it's him, make an effort and do anything to sort it, if you can't see a resolution, be honest and tell him how you feel!

If you need anymore advice or anything, quote me :smile: