How long would you leave it?? Watch

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khil
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Trousers)
The way I see it, there are three things wrong with this attitude:
1. "nowadays for too many people sex is just a bit of fun - but it's not". Yes, it is. If it wasn't fun, people wouldn't do it. It is designed to be fun.

2. You seem to base your opinion on the assumption that men are just out for fun and will do anything to get it. While this may be the case with some men, it's by no means universal.

3. You also assume that women are powerless to defend themselves against these fiends, and that by having sex they are 'giving themselves'. This is rubbish. Women are just as sexually savvy as men - they know the score, and they know what they're getting themselves into when they embark on a sexual relationship (at least, they know as much as men do). Why are men never referred to as having 'given their body' when they have sex?! Again, you assume that women are subservient beings, there for the 'taking', and men are the only active participants.

Sex may be a private, special act to you, and it is in most long-term relationships. But, as long as people take precautions against disease and pregnancy, what harm are they doing by having sex before marriage?
LOL! Well of course sex is fun - it's pleasurable and good, yeh. But it's not "just" a bit of fun - it shouldn't be.

I never said anywhere in my post about men and women - it's you who made the assumption But that's fair enough yeh of course men give their bodies too. Like when I held my ex-boyfriend (while we were still going out) I kept thinking what we were giving each other was really special - with intimacy you can't give without taking, and you can't take without giving - that is assuming it's a strong mutual good relationship. I totally agree men give their bodies too. Never said they didn't!

I never said women don't know what they're getting themselves into lol. I just said sex should be a respected and loving act - not just for fun.

Harm for doing it before marriage - you can't be sure that that person is the one for you, someone totally committed - even if they think they are and are genuine and aren't lying about their commitment it can still turn out to be false.
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visesh
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#22
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#22
Check this

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Mrs_F
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#23
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#23
(Original post by irisng)
LOL! Well of course sex is fun - it's pleasurable and good, yeh. But it's not "just" a bit of fun - it shouldn't be.

I never said anywhere in my post about men and women - it's you who made the assumption But that's fair enough yeh of course men give their bodies too. Like when I held my ex-boyfriend (while we were still going out) I kept thinking what we were giving each other was really special - with intimacy you can't give without taking, and you can't take without giving - that is assuming it's a strong mutual good relationship. I totally agree men give their bodies too. Never said they didn't!

I never said women don't know what they're getting themselves into lol. I just said sex should be a respected and loving act - not just for fun.

Harm for doing it before marriage - you can't be sure that that person is the one for you, someone totally committed - even if they think they are and are genuine and aren't lying about their commitment it can still turn out to be false.
But you could get married, have sex then realise that the person wasn't right for you afterall. Then you will be even more hurt as you will have to go through a divorce which is worse than just splitting up.
You can be committed to someone without being married. When you are planning the wedding you are obviously committed to the person.
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roff
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#24
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#24
I've only had sex on the first date twice...normally they are quite tight till the second date, then they open up, literally.
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Mrs_F
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#25
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#25
(Original post by ramroff)
I've only had sex on the first date twice...normally they are quite tight till the second date, then they open up, literally.
Lucky you!
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lou p lou
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#26
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#26
(Original post by irisng)
Harm for doing it before marriage - you can't be sure that that person is the one for you, someone totally committed - even if they think they are and are genuine and aren't lying about their commitment it can still turn out to be false.
but you can be a loving relationship very young and not married... me and my bf have been together for over a year and even if we split up tomorrow i wouldn't regret sleeping with him because he's only ever been kind, loving and supportive to me. it's not like he would have just slept with me and walked off, even if things do end i would still remember it as a happy relationship.

lou xxx
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Mrs_F
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#27
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#27
(Original post by lou p lou)
but you can be a loving relationship very young and not married... me and my bf have been together for over a year and even if we split up tomorrow i wouldn't regret sleeping with him because he's only ever been kind, loving and supportive to me. it's not like he would have just slept with me and walked off, even if things do end i would still remember it as a happy relationship.

lou xxx
Yes exactly :congrats: Good point.
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eurasianfeline
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#28
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#28
i don't think i would ever sleep with someone on the first date.

ummm...i guess i'll wait till...i'm comfortable and love that guy enough, and knowing that he's not just going after the sex in the relationship.
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frost105
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#29
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#29
However long you feel comfortable. I've had sex on the first date and I've left it for a month before. Doesnt really seem to matter
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KingAS
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#30
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#30
(Original post by lessthanthree)
Time is not an indicator of whether something like sex is right.

Knowing it feels right can come at two weeks or two years; and anyone who feels pressured by the fact that "oh, god, we've been going out for two months, now we must have sex" really shouldn't.

I have seen relationships fail even when these so called "rules" are adhered to...and seen sucessful relationships flourish even when they broke the rules and slept with each other within a week.

Sex shouldn't have a time contstraint; knowing your ready is a feeling, not realising the time and thinking "goddamn, better get down to it."
:dito: agree completely, it should just progress naturally i think
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