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Christians who've had sex - do you regret it?
Is there anyone out there who's Christian, who's had sex, and who doesn't regret it? I mean committed Christian who still thinks sex should be reserved for marriage, but did it anyway, and doesn't regret it afterwards? (or if you're not Christian but with strict religious beliefs)
More importantly, are there committed Christians out there who've had sex, and who ended up breaking up with their ex's, and STILL don't regret it?
My friends tell me: I lost my virginity to so-and-so and even if I broke up with them now, I would never regret it.
My thought to that: Well how would they know? They haven't broken up with them. In fact, they're engaged! So in short, they lost their virginity to their spouses (the prefix of "future" is only technical).
I'm worrying that I'll regret losing my virginity to someone who's not my husband, assuming it doesn't work out. Like, I won't regret it now or in 5 months' time, but I might regret it on my wedding day (assuming I get one). And I don't wanna regret this. (for reference, I've done everything except the actual thing, I'm female and 21)
So... anyone? Anyone's welcomed to reply regarding the regret aspect, though I'm particularly interested in those with strict religious beliefs.
More importantly, are there committed Christians out there who've had sex, and who ended up breaking up with their ex's, and STILL don't regret it?
My friends tell me: I lost my virginity to so-and-so and even if I broke up with them now, I would never regret it.
My thought to that: Well how would they know? They haven't broken up with them. In fact, they're engaged! So in short, they lost their virginity to their spouses (the prefix of "future" is only technical).
I'm worrying that I'll regret losing my virginity to someone who's not my husband, assuming it doesn't work out. Like, I won't regret it now or in 5 months' time, but I might regret it on my wedding day (assuming I get one). And I don't wanna regret this. (for reference, I've done everything except the actual thing, I'm female and 21)
So... anyone? Anyone's welcomed to reply regarding the regret aspect, though I'm particularly interested in those with strict religious beliefs.
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PM me, I'm 17 and in the same situation!
I regret losing it to the person i did.... but i don't regret having sex with my current bf. I am christian but don't believe that sex before marriage is necessarily a bad thing, it is if it leads to unwanted pregnancies etc but i don't think that the act itsself is wrong.
Diaz89
what is the punishment for sex before marriage in Christianity?
Decapitation. With a blunt cross.
More to the point, yes Im a Christian and yes Ive had sex with my current (and first) girlfriend. If we ended up breaking up, I would regret it. For now, I think it brings us closer together, so dont regret it right now.
I can fully understand why sex before marriage is condemned by the church, the difficult choice of abortion or no abortion when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy is a horrible thing.
Diaz89
what is the punishment for sex before marriage in Christianity?
There isn't one. It's all by grace (given through the act of Christ's death on the cross) that we're forgiven. But because of His death and His love for us, He calls us to love Him. And it is out of love that we should follow what He says in the Bible regarding our lives etc, and as a Christian I've committed to loving Christ. Hence my dilemma. Call it split loyalty, perhaps?
Anonymous
There isn't one. It's all by grace (given through the act of Christ's death on the cross) that we're forgiven. But because of His death and His love for us, He calls us to love Him. And it is out of love that we should follow what He says in the Bible regarding our lives etc, and as a Christian I've committed to loving Christ. Hence my dilemma. Call it split loyalty, perhaps?
Does it actually say in the bible specifically that sex before marriage is wrong? I'm not trying to case an argument, i genuinely am interested as i don't know if it actally says it or if it is an interpretation.
My girl friend is a committed Christian, and we have regular sex. She doesn't have a problem with it at all, she says she can't see how something that good could possibly be wrong.
Anonymous
There isn't one. It's all by grace (given through the act of Christ's death on the cross) that we're forgiven. But because of His death and His love for us, He calls us to love Him. And it is out of love that we should follow what He says in the Bible regarding our lives etc, and as a Christian I've committed to loving Christ. Hence my dilemma. Call it split loyalty, perhaps?
Also I believe that if you are a good person then it shouldn't matter, unless the sex causes bad things like abortions etc
my oldest friend is a christian and she's had sex with 3 guys now.
Apparently she doesn't regret the first as she really loved him and believed she would spend forever with him. she regrets the second because she didn't love the guy and feels it was a sin, and she doesn't regret the third because she is in love with him now and thinks it will last a long time, if not forever.
I think the general consensus from my religious friends is that if the sex is within the confines of a loving relationship, done for the right reasons then there's nothing to be ashamed of and they're not going against the will of god, but that's their own personal beliefs.
I think when you're in the situation where you truly love someone and want to do this with them as an expression of how you feel then you will know if it's right or not.
Don't go on others experiences when making a decision like this because everyone's different, what could be a treasured memory for one could be a huge mistake for you.
Apparently she doesn't regret the first as she really loved him and believed she would spend forever with him. she regrets the second because she didn't love the guy and feels it was a sin, and she doesn't regret the third because she is in love with him now and thinks it will last a long time, if not forever.
I think the general consensus from my religious friends is that if the sex is within the confines of a loving relationship, done for the right reasons then there's nothing to be ashamed of and they're not going against the will of god, but that's their own personal beliefs.
I think when you're in the situation where you truly love someone and want to do this with them as an expression of how you feel then you will know if it's right or not.
Don't go on others experiences when making a decision like this because everyone's different, what could be a treasured memory for one could be a huge mistake for you.
Dr.Hox
I can fully understand why sex before marriage is condemned by the church, the difficult choice of abortion or no abortion when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy is a horrible thing.
I can fully understand why sex before marriage is condemned by the church, the difficult choice of abortion or no abortion when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy is a horrible thing.
I don't see why marriage would change that.
Anonymous
My girl friend is a committed Christian, and we have regular sex. She doesn't have a problem with it at all, she says she can't see how something that good could possibly be wrong.
I bet the forbidden fruit tasted pretty damn good.
Dr.Hox
So judgement is now based on luck? (Or the lack of it?)
What do you mean?
I'm a christian and I think the morals of that "rule" are correct but I also think that this is a modern day society and that times have moved on. As long as the person you are with is the one you love and you've talked about it and are both happy. In my opinion marrige doesn't matter as if you love each other surely your plan is to get married eventually? I wouldnt regret it if it was at the right time and I loved her.
Ive had sex with my boyfriend, and it doesnt bother me. I no we'll still be together in the future so I dont have any problems with losing it before marriage.
I no my parents waited till they married (god knows why I know
) before they did, but they dont mind that I have - presuming they have guessed that I have.
I think times have changed a little, well in my family they have anyways and my parents arnt as stict religiously, as say my grandparents were with my parents when they were my age.
If that makes any sense. Ha
I no my parents waited till they married (god knows why I know
) before they did, but they dont mind that I have - presuming they have guessed that I have.I think times have changed a little, well in my family they have anyways and my parents arnt as stict religiously, as say my grandparents were with my parents when they were my age.
If that makes any sense. Ha
death.drop
I don't see why marriage would change that.
To most people, once theyre settled enough to be married, theyre also settled enough to care for a child.
Silver_Stardust
Does it actually say in the bible specifically that sex before marriage is wrong? I'm not trying to case an argument, i genuinely am interested as i don't know if it actally says it or if it is an interpretation.
The bible forbids fornication along with adultery, beasitality, homosexuality and incest. Interpretation of the word fornication comes from the latin pornea which may or may not mean sex out of marriage.
Silver_Stardust
What do you mean?
If you have sex and nothing goes wrong, then thats fine, you get away with it.
Whereas if you have sex, your condom breaks, you have an abortion to avoid having a child with no way to bringing it up, you will be judged as a murderer and its all caused by having sex.
I looked into this awhile ago and came to the conclusion it is foridden in christianity- although jesus went on the cross does that mean we should do whatever we desire. Just because sex before marriage is seen as the norm does not make it right. It is seen as a sin but many many people wish to ignore that as it doesnt feel bad. I just study into religions and philosophy- im not christian but in christianity it isnt allowed, however the church bends the rules sometimes to please people...not all do but some do- for instance- the topic of hommosexuality- more churches are saying its fine when it is clear in christianity its not.
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