Scared

People...I need your opinion on this. My ex and I have broke up last Nov after I found out he has cheated on me. We didn't really talk for a month but by Dec we were friends again...rather good friends in fact. But then as soon as he found out that I have a new bf...he's been giving me so much **** and always calling to ask stuff about my bf all of a sudden. In fact...I know he's been getting his friends to search for information about him and trying to find out where he studies, where he lives and if any of his friends know him. To be honest, he's not exactly a very "good" guy and he and his hockey mates can be very violent and impulsive. What made me fall for him...I really don't know but that doesn't matter now. It's just his behaviour has been scaring me. What should I do??

(and darling...if you're reading this...I'll talk to you on the phone about it tonight.)

Reply 1

britishseapower

14

well I would tell your boyfriend about it just so he's prepard and stuff/is aware people are trying to find out stuff about him. I would also tell your ex boyfriend to **** off and that your new boyfriend has nothing to do with him and that nothing he can do will ever make you get back with him.

Reply 2

frost105

14

I would tell your ex that your finding his behaviour startling and slightly frightening and that you do not think that a friendship between you can really happen under these circumstances. Note all phone calls and keep any texts he sends you (though do not reply). If he proceeds to start threatening you or your new boyfriend then mae notes of these instances and take it all to the police station.

I had an ex, who after we split started to follow me and watch me from over the road when I was at work. He started phoning the house and shouting abuse doen the phone. We contacted the police and he told us to do exactly as above. When he started threatening me and my mum a restarining order was put on him to stay away from us both. We had a few more phone calls and the police went to go talk to him and it all stopped. It was really scary at one stage but you need to keep a distnace and not get involved with the aggravator and keep your head.

Reply 3

Tyler Durden

17

Tell him you're done with him. Perhaps a month isn't long enough of a cool off time if you had quite an intense relationship... Either way, be open with the new guy and things should be fine! :smile:

Reply 4

eurasianfeline

OP

13

britishseapower

well I would tell your boyfriend about it just so he's prepard and stuff/is aware people are trying to find out stuff about him. I would also tell your ex boyfriend to **** off and that your new boyfriend has nothing to do with him and that nothing he can do will ever make you get back with him.

yea i'm going to tell my bf tonight cos i don't want to have to keep anything from him. my ex is always saying bad stuff about indians ever since he found out his mere existence (before we even started going out) but i've just been ignoring him cos i knew he was jealous and worried we would be together.

Reply 5

khil

15

frost105

I would tell your ex that your finding his behaviour startling and slightly frightening and that you do not think that a friendship between you can really happen under these circumstances. Note all phone calls and keep any texts he sends you (though do not reply). If he proceeds to start threatening you or your new boyfriend then mae notes of these instances and take it all to the police station.

I had an ex, who after we split started to follow me and watch me from over the road when I was at work. He started phoning the house and shouting abuse doen the phone. We contacted the police and he told us to do exactly as above. When he started threatening me and my mum a restarining order was put on him to stay away from us both. We had a few more phone calls and the police went to go talk to him and it all stopped. It was really scary at one stage but you need to keep a distnace and not get involved with the aggravator and keep your head.

Good advice.

Eurasianfeline I think you should tell yourb boyfriend and follow frost105's advice. Sounds really scary...

Reply 6

britishseapower

14

eurasianfeline

yea i'm going to tell my bf tonight cos i don't want to have to keep anything from him. my ex is always saying bad stuff about indians ever since he found out his mere existence (before we even started going out) but i've just been ignoring him cos i knew he was jealous and worried we would be together.

its an offence to abuse people or whatever but if its racially motivated he will get even more for it

Reply 7

SilverWings

14

its an offence to abuse people or whatever but if its racially motivated he will get even more for it

I think its irrelevant what he "gets for it".. is it not more the fact that the girl and her bf are kept safe and outta his way?? Yesh, Im all for punishing people but, this sounded kinda insensitve to me...

Reply 8

magiccarpet

2

i don think the guy wil do anything. i think thats quite normal. me and my ex are fine friends but as i really loved him alot, if i found he had a new gf i'd need to know who she was, if she was pretty, how did they meet, how long had they been together. and i would try to split them up. not because i still lov the guy but just out of jealousy. its hard to explain but i couldnt just let go of someone special to someone else like that. i think eurasian needs to explain to the guy that they are best frinds but make it clear thats all you are and all you ever will be

Reply 9

britishseapower

14

but if you loved him wouldn't you be happy for him?

Reply 10

britishseapower

14

SIlverWings

I think its irrelevant what he "gets for it".. is it not more the fact that the girl and her bf are kept safe and outta his way?? Yesh, Im all for punishing people but, this sounded kinda insensitve to me...

Its more of a deterrent

Reply 11

magiccarpet

2

britishseapower

but if you loved him wouldn't you be happy for him?

nononono this is the bf before the bastard one. i don think its over with me and the bast yet hopefully.

the guy before i loved alot and we were together for many years. even tho i have finished with him along time ago i just can never accept him being with someone else ever. if i found out, i'd be like eurasians ex.

Reply 12

britishseapower

14

magiccarpet

nononono this is the bf before the bastard one. i don think its over with me and the bast yet hopefully.

the guy before i loved alot and we were together for many years. even tho i have finished with him along time ago i just can never accept him being with someone else ever. if i found out, i'd be like eurasians ex.

Thats just wrong though, you shouldn't even be considering other relationships if you haven't even got over one that you had ages ago

Reply 13

magiccarpet

2

that one broke up 2 years ago. i dont lov the guy anymore but i don t want him to see other people

Reply 14

eurasianfeline

OP

13

magiccarpet

that one broke up 2 years ago. i dont lov the guy anymore but i don t want him to see other people

but why not? i mean aren't u over him already?

Reply 15

britishseapower

14

magiccarpet

that one broke up 2 years ago. i dont lov the guy anymore but i don t want him to see other people

Thats just ridiculous, its over, you just said you don't even love him so why try and make things difficult for him? its a bit selfish if you ask me; I'm not being funny but from some of the things you have posted, you have serious issues

Scared

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