The Student Room Group

BDD - Do i tell my mom? Am i just making a fuss?

Basically I was bullied by two guys when i first started secondary school. And then two years ago I was bullied again, but by a girl. The younger incidents have never left my mind, but by the time the incidents with the girl happened, I'd brought myself to believe what she'd said anyway so it didnt hurt me as much.

Anyway its developed into BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) involving my face and stomach, as well as a slight eating disorder.

Some examples:
* I work at a private school and can't go into the area where the kids are for fear they'll stare and laugh at me, I always end up doing a much harder job that takes hours longer, but by myself in the staff area, so i can work an get it done alone.
*I Paid 700 pounds to go to Tenerife last christmas with two girls..but only went in the pool one, and not in the sea at all, with them as I didn't want them to see me because I looked fat.
*I have an obsession with looking in mirrors -i have to look in more than one to try an get a different image. I just want to see myself how other people see me. I'm tired of crying at my own reflection when I'm really low.

To my friends im a really social person- i have loads of friends and i do get lots of male attention, but none of them really know whats going on, except one guy. He's like my best friend and knows everything.

Recently he advised I see a doctor as it's not going away, if anything its getting worse. I've realised there is an issue- I really want to sort it, I'm just scared of addressing it.

He's said he will come to the doctors with me if i book an appointment for next week. I've written everything down in a notebook as i know i cant talk aloud about it, or I'll just break down.
But am i just making a fuss? Because really i know it sounds like nothing is wrong, am i just being silly?

And should i ask my mom to read the notebook before she goes?
I just don't want her to tell my Dad.. we don't get on too well, despite all living together as one happy family.. I dont want him thinking any lower of me than he already does.

Please help :frown:
It sounds like you've had a tough old time of it, but the fact you are looking foward to sort it all out is really positive. You are lucky to have that friend, so yes i think going with him and the notebook thing is a very good idea. If it wasnt a problem why would you be on here looking for solutions? Scary as it will be, you'll feel so much better long term by going. It might be a good idea to speak to your mum about it before you go, it will give her a better understanding of how you're feeling, and theres no reason that she should tell your dad if she knows you dont want her to.
The notebook was a great idea, really sensible. The doctor is there to help and you have made it as possible to get your point across as you can :smile:

You are not making a fuss at all, this is obviously causing you problems and needs to be adressed. How old are you? if you are under 18 the doctor may be obligated to tell you parent, if they feel fit, so it may be a good idea for you to show your mum the notebook before you go. If get get refered to someone in the mental health unit of a hospital for counselling it may be helpful to have you mum on board for moral support. You need to think how diffucult it will be to go behind her back if you have a hospital appointment. You never know how you dad is going to react however, however i would reach that bridge when you need to.
Reply 3
i feel quite similar, i am always looking in a mirror to see if i look fat and i feel so ugly whenever i see my face anywhere and avoid pictures at all costs. all my friends are posting pics of themselves even my one best friend who i have confined all my feelings to. i got really badly picked on for my size, weight and looks and loads of my friends dropped me, and i really used to love sports as well but now i hate it because they make us wear really short skorts and warm up in font of everyone. i have loads of eczema on my legs and its always bleeding as im trying to pick it off And i also feel as if my thighs are too big and im always constantly either looking at them about to cry or im searching up ways to make myself pretty, skinny and love myself. i have tried to keep as far away from mirrors but i have a massive wall of them in my room o its kind of hard. I find it really hard to tell any of my family as my mother makes things quite awkward when it comes to feelings. About a year ago i jumped out of my bedroom window as one of my *friends* was there and to jump.to make it worse my family have been making comments on how i should be healthy or go on runs. I haven't written it all down as i wouldn't like to be a burden on your time. Any advice would be fully appreciated.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically I was bullied by two guys when i first started secondary school. And then two years ago I was bullied again, but by a girl. The younger incidents have never left my mind, but by the time the incidents with the girl happened, I'd brought myself to believe what she'd said anyway so it didnt hurt me as much.

Anyway its developed into BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) involving my face and stomach, as well as a slight eating disorder.

Some examples:
* I work at a private school and can't go into the area where the kids are for fear they'll stare and laugh at me, I always end up doing a much harder job that takes hours longer, but by myself in the staff area, so i can work an get it done alone.
*I Paid 700 pounds to go to Tenerife last christmas with two girls..but only went in the pool one, and not in the sea at all, with them as I didn't want them to see me because I looked fat.
*I have an obsession with looking in mirrors -i have to look in more than one to try an get a different image. I just want to see myself how other people see me. I'm tired of crying at my own reflection when I'm really low.

To my friends im a really social person- i have loads of friends and i do get lots of male attention, but none of them really know whats going on, except one guy. He's like my best friend and knows everything.

Recently he advised I see a doctor as it's not going away, if anything its getting worse. I've realised there is an issue- I really want to sort it, I'm just scared of addressing it.

He's said he will come to the doctors with me if i book an appointment for next week. I've written everything down in a notebook as i know i cant talk aloud about it, or I'll just break down.
But am i just making a fuss? Because really i know it sounds like nothing is wrong, am i just being silly?

And should i ask my mom to read the notebook before she goes?
I just don't want her to tell my Dad.. we don't get on too well, despite all living together as one happy family.. I dont want him thinking any lower of me than he already does.

Please help :frown:


I wish I had BDD. BDD people are attractive and good looking.

I am ugly. When I look in the mirror I see a short and broad body. I don't see the same face. My face changes. It is ugly. I want to end and disappear I am too ugly for this world. I am also too stupid for the world and failed A levels twice and failed Btec and am now doing Access course.

I want to die so badly. I feel so ugly. I can't survive. People don't care how you feel they just want you to get the job done.