The Student Room Group

Memoir of a Serial Killer (monologue)

TO ANYONE WHO FINDS MY MONOLOGUE AND SEES THIS

I wrote it when I was still at sixth form college.

I graduated from university in 2015, and do not use this forum regularly.

If you would like to use my monologue you are more than welcome to, but I'm not around to respond to credit queries. If you use it online, credit my username! I check out who's used it recently every so often :smile:

Basically, every so often I log in to find messages - some new some old - from students who want to use it/have used it already and need permission or a contact for credit retrospectively. While I am so glad and happily taken aback that people have liked it enough to want to perform it, please understand that this was not my initial intention when I uploaded it. I simply uploaded it to show a piece of my creativity, and I am NOT responsible if you use it without formal permission and then get into trouble with your exam board.

I'm still amazed to be seeing this monologue cropping up around the internet after over 9 years!

Best

Beige_Angel

It’s not like I do it in cold blood…

Each time is a crime of passion, and what would life be without the glowing heat of excitement; of anticipation and the thrill of what’s to come?

Empty, that’s what it would be. I couldn’t live an empty life; everyone gets their kicks from somewhere, someone, something. This is how I get mine. It might not be the norm most people call it cruelty but I couldn’t live without what I do. I need to satisfy the beast within, craving for the next fix like a caught fish craves the sea. But my fix has nothing to do with drugs. No powder, liquid or inhalant can fulfil my needs. I desire so much more. Something stronger; something more potent; something to fill the hole that widens with each day I go without. An act that brings an incredible high that no amphetamine could achieve. I need that feeling of accomplishment; the adrenaline rush felt when everything you’ve worked so hard for finally falls into place. No job could ever lift me the way the fulfilment of my fantasies does.

Don’t think I’m hollow, I’m not. I have thoughts and feelings and emotions. I’ve felt the depression after the death of a loved one and the elation of marriage committing myself to the one woman I love most in the world. I eat, sleep and breathe so surely I am human? And yet society still calls me a monster; the anti-Christ; something not someone to be feared. The concept seems alien to me. I have the sweetest wife and two beautiful daughters whom I adore, their long flowing hair shining in the sunlight on long walks out in the park, giving the illusion of ethereal auras. I have a job and a social life and have built up a home over the years some may call me prosperous, but I’m a modest man.

Everything I have should make me content, happy even. But nothing compares to the instant gratification felt when you realise just how powerful you really are. I am a man, a god, the angel of death. I have the ability to end the pitiful lives of those below me. I’m an owl, only coming out at night to search for my next kill. Soaring over the innocence below with wide eyes, then diving low with predatory precision and perfect aim…never off target. Don’t be fooled though, my prey is no animal, no petty creature made to die for us to consume. This is what makes what I do so special, so unique.

Fair, that’s my “type”. It makes it all the more euphoric when you can see the innocence and purity not only in her eyes, but also in her skin; soft and white with delicate blue veins just beneath her silky smooth epidermis. She has to have golden hair, like an angel so that I feel like the devil smothering all her hopes and dreams and desires; so that I realise that supremacy is mine to have. Nobody can stop me, nobody even knows. Who would think? I have the faith…every Sunday I wrench myself from under the warm folds of my bedcovers, washing, eating, making myself presentable for God. It’s pitiful there is no God if there was a God I wouldn’t be here; surely, if he exists, he would have struck me down after my first “fix” or destroyed me before my conception could even begin. There is no God, only me, but I keep up the charade for society’s sake.

I’m a stranger and a friend, an acquaintance and an unknown enemy. I’m not like the others - erratic and blood-crazed. I take my time; plan my next move; watch my prey for days or even weeks to observe their every movement. They never see me lurking in the shadows, out of sight and mind. Then I lunge, choosing the moment carefully for maximum bewilderment, giving my prey no chance to escape. The frenzied panic in her eyes filling me with warmth and pleasure as I revel in the bliss of fulfilment. My thick, strong man-hands gripping her neck and clenching ever tighter until her pale skin is white as paper and her soft lips are cold and faintly blue. Then my work is done, another angel loses her wings and my horns grow ever longer, the devil himself growing ever stronger.

I don’t do what I do out of hate, out of sadness or revenge. It’s something I need, something I could not live without, like an addiction. A person would shrivel and die without sustenance; this is my sustenance. It’s not a choice, it’s a way of life my life-force; the cement that holds me together. Nobody wants to die and I feel like I would if I stopped; if I never again got to feel the cold hard metal of the dagger blade in my palm; never again got to hear the soft crunching sound as metal breaks through skin; never again got to feel the exhilaration as my weight on top forces the knife down further and further, plunging through flesh releasing thick, warm crimson fluid like the satisfaction of pouring the sweet juice from a coconut that took you many violent tries to split to the core.

So now I ask you…have you ever felt as though you’re being watched? Walked down a street at night in the quiet darkness and started at the sound of a cracking twig or muffled breath? Taken the long route home to avoid walking into the uncertainty of an alleyway? Sat at home and watched a horror film alone, and then not been able to leave the room and enter the unknown, sinking deeper into your sofa as though it will protect you?

It won’t save you. Nothing can because by now I know everything about you. You’re so predictable, fragile and unguarded. My path is clear and I’ve been ready for a while now, just waiting, stood in the corner behind you and breathing quietly so as not to disturb the peace before the hysteria…

Your hysteria.
(edited 6 years ago)

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Reply 1
I really like that. Im a drama student and I found myself reading it aloud as I would perform it, thats a good sign. Very intresting subject matter too. I think you can have a lot of fun with it as a performer.
:biggrin:
Reply 2
Mhairi-Ann
I really like that. Im a drama student and I found myself reading it aloud as I would perform it, thats a good sign. Very intresting subject matter too. I think you can have a lot of fun with it as a performer.
:biggrin:

Thanks :smile: Glad somebody likes it lol it's one of my favourites.
Reply 3
Hi, I am wondering if you have this piece of work published or if you have considered getting it published. I am interested in doing this piece for a speech competition. However, the tournament is in two weeks and I the pieces I do need an IRN. It is very easy to publish a piece and get an IRN, just let me know if you are interested. Thank you!
Reply 4
wow amazing . . . great work
Reply 5
That is a great monologue!! Its just powerful and creepy.

I am actually doing a Drama Competition and have been looking for a great monologue to preform and was wondering if I could use this? I would give you total credit of course. Please let me know if that would be okay with you.:smile:

Thanks
Reply 6
You have obviously spent a long time thinking about taking innocent lives...
Reply 7
Original post by Marayamills
That is a great monologue!! Its just powerful and creepy.

I am actually doing a Drama Competition and have been looking for a great monologue to preform and was wondering if I could use this? I would give you total credit of course. Please let me know if that would be okay with you.:smile:

Thanks

Hey, sure you can use it. I always find it strange when people message me about this cause I wrote it three years ago now! It's nice to know people like it :smile:

Original post by the bear
You have obviously spent a long time thinking about taking innocent lives...

I was 17 and living in a youth hostel at the time so yeah, most probably :tongue:
(edited 12 years ago)
Hey Beige_Angel. I'm currently in my senior year of high school but I wanted to take a second and say thank you so much for writing this monologue. I'm the president of our schools drama club and I can honestly say that this was and still is my favorite piece to perform. It was the first real piece that challenged me to dive deeper into a role (3 months of serial killer research) and this was the first piece that I ever performed at Drama competiton (winning two medals and scaring the crap out of everyone who I performed it in front of haha I am now known as "hey! theres the serial killer!" :biggrin:) Anyways, what I really wanted to tell you was that over the weekend I made a video for Memoir and while it isn't up yet I have the trailer. :smile: And basically that's it, Thank you so much for being incredibly creative and writing this monologue :smile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udAlVbdIkkA that link is for the trailer :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by TheAspiringActor
Hey Beige_Angel. I'm currently in my senior year of high school but I wanted to take a second and say thank you so much for writing this monologue. I'm the president of our schools drama club and I can honestly say that this was and still is my favorite piece to perform. It was the first real piece that challenged me to dive deeper into a role (3 months of serial killer research) and this was the first piece that I ever performed at Drama competiton (winning two medals and scaring the crap out of everyone who I performed it in front of haha I am now known as "hey! theres the serial killer!" :biggrin:) Anyways, what I really wanted to tell you was that over the weekend I made a video for Memoir and while it isn't up yet I have the trailer. :smile: And basically that's it, Thank you so much for being incredibly creative and writing this monologue :smile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udAlVbdIkkA that link is for the trailer :smile:

Hey, sorry for taking so long to reply to your post. To be honest I was on a TSR hiatus, I have one every so often to cleanse, this is the first time I've logged in for months.

Thank you ever so much for your kind words :redface: It still shocks me when people find my piece and contact me about it. I wrote it when I was 16 (I'm 21 now) and every so often I get reminded of it. I'm glad it helped you out so much and yay you for getting awards for it! I watched your trailer and it looks like it was a good project. I'm really happy that tou enjoyed my piece x
Hi! I'm a high school speech student, and I would very much like to do this piece at competition. I'm almost certain it would bring in several awards, and I would be overjoyed to use it :smile: But I need an ISBN in order to do so, and i was wondering if there was any way you could get one for this piece? Without an ISBN they won't let me perform the piece, and I am absolutely in love with this. Please consider it. Thank you!!
Reply 11
Original post by chaoticThespian
Hi! I'm a high school speech student, and I would very much like to do this piece at competition. I'm almost certain it would bring in several awards, and I would be overjoyed to use it :smile: But I need an ISBN in order to do so, and i was wondering if there was any way you could get one for this piece? Without an ISBN they won't let me perform the piece, and I am absolutely in love with this. Please consider it. Thank you!!

Whilst I am flattered that you think it's good enough, this was something I wrote around 5 years ago for a school coursework piece I needed to hand in. I'm not a writer by trade and haven't written anything in ages and really would not be willing to pay £126 for an ISBN I'm never going to use.

Thanks again though and I hope you find something else you like that fits your requirements :redface:
Reply 12
I'd really like to use this as a performance piece but I'd like to have him give credit to the author. Could I get your name so he can give you credit?
Reply 13
Original post by JD1921
I'd really like to use this as a performance piece but I'd like to have him give credit to the author. Could I get your name so he can give you credit?

I'll private message you :smile:
Reply 14
Very Deep. Very Dark.. Very well written.

I would like to use this as an audition piece with your permission.

Geoffrey
Reply 15
I would like to use this in a competition could I get your name and permission?
Hey! I'm absolutely in love with this piece! I know it's been a while, but is there any chance I could get your name for credit if I were to perform this piece?
This reminds me of something off CreepyPasta :biggrin:
Reply 18
Hi - I am in a monologue contest in Toronto at the end of the month and would love to do an excerpt from this piece and would also like to give you credit. Please let me know if you are okay with it and contact info... Great work!

Thanks
Mike Sniezek
Reply 19
I would like to do this monologue for a monologue contest at the end of the month. Can I have your permission and can I give you credit?