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The European English Language

The European Union has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the one other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government has conceded that English spelling does actually have some small, but significant, room for improvement and has thus accepted a 5-year phase-in-plan of these improvements that will eventually become known as "Euro English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one letter less.

In the sekond year, there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new speling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v".

During the fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kom tru. If zis mad u smil ples pas on to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!!!

Reply 1

Sam_B

LOL yes, read that before.

Reply 2

undiscovered

Ohmygod that is so funny! :rofl:

Reply 3

IB The Great

Zis is funy and also insan. I'd not be abl to writ English anymor...

Reply 4

NDGAARONDI

muncrun

The European Union has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the one other possibility.

And there was me thinking it was French. :rolleyes:

Reply 5

IB The Great

NDGAARONDI

And there was me thinking it was French.

Oh no, French is too complicated to be the European Language. English is the best! :wink:

Reply 6

NDGAARONDI

IB The Great

Oh no, French is too complicated to be the European Language. English is the best! :wink:

If French is complicated what about Russian (since they're meant to be admitted in about 10-20 years time along with other CIS members)? :biggrin:

You know I read somewhere that in terms of languages French was on equal footing with English and like German was below French....bit of a joke really. They're both below French and German b/c of the amount of people who speak the three languages and their practical elements too.