First Date

I've got a date coming soon with a girl who I don't really know that well. Met her out one night relatively sober and exchanged numbers/msn. I asked her out on a date yesterday. Plan is to go out for a meal and then a drink afterwards, and see how it goes.

Basically my question is, how should I treat her I mean, Am I expected to pay for it all? I wouldn't mind I mean I work full time anyway, just wondering what other females would expect of a first date. Would jacket, shirt and jeans be alright as well or too smart. As you can tell I'm slightly nervous because I'm hoping for it to go well and get a 2nd one. Any other advice appreciated.

What would you expect to happen? What signs would you give off to show you're interested and that its going well?

Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

ShinyApple

14

Pay for it. Wave away protests. It's the way we roll.

If you're going to wear something over the coat, I'd go for a jumper and not a 'jacket'. There is so much wrong with the jackets that most men choose.

If you're talking and there is very little horrific awkwardness, then it is probably all fine. Perhaps at the end you can say 'Thanks, I hope we can do this again some time soon, I've really enjoyed myself.'

Reply 2

Smile88egc

15

I'd offer to pay for it and see how she reacts, she might feel really uncofmortable with it since you don't know each other that well so see how it goes.
Be gentle and polite, if you can be funny too then its in the bag!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

ShinyApple

If you're going to wear something over the coat, I'd go for a jumper and not a 'jacket'. There is so much wrong with the jackets that most men choose.

It's a black winter coat/jacket type thing. You know what I mean probably. It looks really nice and smart.

Reply 4

ShinyApple

14

Anonymous

It's a black winter coat/jacket type thing. You know what I mean probably. It looks really nice and smart.

Well, then it's a maybe. Even so, a shirt and jumper looks smarter and remains so throughout. It's also bloody freezing at the moment, so it's wise.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

ShinyApple

Well, then it's a maybe. Even so, a shirt and jumper looks smarter and remains so throughout. It's also bloody freezing at the moment, so it's wise.

Not really sure, don't like jumpers but I'll consider it anyway.

Reply 6

bubbs2

Wear a shirt with a jumper, also wear a coat! Definatly pay for it-ALL! Even if she wants 7 courses! Hehe Dont tell her that she looks fit or hot use words like beautiful :smile:

Also, dont moveto fast, unless she does! :P

Reply 7

Dionysia

12

"beautiful" might scare her off at this point. I'd stick with "lovely"/words to that degree.

Definitely offer to pay, or better still, announce that you're paying when the bill comes if she reaches for her bag. If she offers, appear grateful but firm that you're going to pay. Best way to do it at the beginning.

What you're wearing sounds good - shirt + jumper/just shirt should go down well and the coat sounds nice. What shoes are you wearing? They can make or break an outfit so definitely consider those carefully.

Good luck!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Dionysia

"beautiful" might scare her off at this point. I'd stick with "lovely"/words to that degree.

Definitely offer to pay, or better still, announce that you're paying when the bill comes if she reaches for her bag. If she offers, appear grateful but firm that you're going to pay. Best way to do it at the beginning.

What you're wearing sounds good - shirt + jumper/just shirt should go down well and the coat sounds nice. What shoes are you wearing? They can make or break an outfit so definitely consider those carefully.

Good luck!

Smart black shoes, no laces. Will make sure they're clean as well.

Thanks for the advice, I just want to make sure I impress without being over the top. I'm quite happy to pay but see how she feels, sure most girls won't mind saving a bit of money :P:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Basically my question is, how should I treat her I mean, Am I expected to pay for it all? I wouldn't mind I mean I work full time anyway, just wondering what other females would expect of a first date. Would jacket, shirt and jeans be alright as well or too smart. As you can tell I'm slightly nervous because I'm hoping for it to go well and get a 2nd one. Any other advice appreciated.

Thanks :smile:

mcdonalds and beer in spoons is always a winner for a first date :wink:

then take her back to yr place and show her a good timeee baby

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

pretz

Don't offer to pay the full cost of the bill, if you offer to pay then you are quickly establishing the idea in her mind that she is to be rewarded (with food, gifts etc) for the mere possibility of sex. Go Dutch if you don't want to be a door mat.

That's what concerns me. I don't want her to expect it'll be a habit or that I'm paying as some way to get sex. I'm not like that I just want to be gentlemenly and make sure things go well. Thanks for your input anyway though. What do any girls make of this?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

pretz

To be totally honest, girls are often the last people you should ask about what girls want.

From personal experience women seem to appreciate someone who is confident enough not to be submissive.

You're right, I'm no pushover or anything but I just thought paying was just expected, if traditionally more than anything. Which is why I'm asking women what they honestly think if a guy wanted/offered to pay. I'm sure they can give a truthful answer.

Just worth a note I don't know her too well and only met her once before. Speak to her via text and internet on occasion, think she's into me but we'll see on the date.

What sort of signs would be giving off to indicate she likes me anyone? I'm not completely inexperienced at dating but no expert.

Reply 12

Dionysia

12

If a guy wants to pay, I take it as a sign that he's a gentleman. Usually I'll argue about it, but if they're insistent it's always lovely. I don't see it as a way to get sex - maybe that he likes me, but I don't immediately jump to negative conclusions - either I think the best of people or it's a sign of being naïve, but either way, I wouldn't deduce that he wanted sex.

Signs...touching your arm, looking down and then looking up to catch eye contact, licking her lips, playing with her hair...sure-fire.

Reply 13

Bubble_m

I had this sorta date last week, and although we'd only spoken briefly on the bus beforehand everything went smoothly. We had dinner, than drinks at a nearby pub. I loved it because the conversation never stopped, we didnt know each other (literally at all) so we always had somethign to say. You'll know if the chemistry is there and i think this kinda date is the best type to establish it. (coupla weeks back another guy ZERO chemistry, never met up again)
Just relax, dont put up a front and as people have said, mention the possibility of a date at the end (without being like a date? a date? yuh a date? A FRICKIN DATE?!)
Good luck :biggrin:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Any other opinions on paying etc? Still undecided what I should do.

Reply 15

McCoy

Offer to pay. Definitely. A girl is so much more likely to think that you're being gentlemanly when you do offer than anything else. If you don't, she'll think you're being cheap and wonder why she came on a first date. If she wants to split it, refuse to begin with. If she is insistent about splitting, say you'll buy her a drink then if she wants to go to the pub/bar post-dinner.
First dates = men just have to offer to pay, especially if you asked her out.
Next date it will be different.

Reply 16

AppleHutch

It's always nice when a guy pays, if she goes for her purse say something like 'oh don't be silly, my treat' with a smile.

Reply 17

keepthefaith

Offer to pay for her. She won't expect you to do this all the time, trust me (well, I never expect guys to) but it's nice to do it the first time. After that go dutch. Good luck!

Reply 18

Anonymous #3

I think paying really depends on the girl. I mean I would obviously suggest it and if she only protests a little then it means she basically DOES want you to pay. If she is really insistant on you not paying for it all then maybe don't. She might not like people paying for her so early on and she might get annoyed if you do. Like I said, it all depends on the girl and how she reacts.

Reply 19

brak3n

13

If you organised the date, where you're going, what you're doing etc., you should pay I think.

First Date

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