Any advice?

I feel very strange posting this here. I have a serious issue with discussing my feelings with people and so why I'm posting it in a forum where lots of people can read this, I do not know. Maybe its because its anonymous, really.

Right. Here goes. I met my current boyfriend at college. We were friends for aaages and then actually got together in January of last year. As we were in our second year of college, we were having to think about unis and applying, etc, etc but mostly our choices were made when we got together. I wanted to move away from home, to get the whole "university experience". Anyways, to cut a long story short, I did move away: but just an hour away so that there was still some chance of us staying together. I've never told him this is why I went there. Now, thats all fallen through: I didn't like it there and got out.

When we first moved to uni (he's at uni, but one 20 mins from home) things were very difficult. Over the summer, we had been seeing each other loads and then seeing each other every 2-4 weeks was a bit of a shock. In the first semester that's how it went. We'd spend a weekend, or an evening, together every 2-4 weeks. We had the obvious ups and downs, but hit a real low just before Christmas: it had come to the point where I think we both felt that we were going to see how the Christmas vacation went, and take it from there. As it was, it was fantastic. Probably the best our relationship has been so far.

So, I went back to uni feeling good about that. But I was also coming to terms with the fact that I didn't like uni that much, and I came to realise that there was no sense in me stopping there if I didn't want to. I should point out that a lot of the arguements we had before Christmas had been focused around me not talking about how I feel all the time. I'm not good at it...it's not because of lack of trust. I just bottle things up. It's me. Anyway, with our new improved (lol) relationship, I told him pretty early on how I was feeling and he was really supportive about everything.

I left uni a week and a bit ago, and then had a big drama the day after when our car was stolen with all my stuff in (I hadn't unpacked the car from moving out). To say the least, I was low. That was the Friday.

Saturday, boyfriend comes round. This bit probably sounds pretty selfish, but I was needing a bit of support. It had been a tough week: I had left all my uni friends behind. Which I know was my choice, and the right one, but it was stressful none the less. And then with the car being stolen I was a state. He was so unsupportive and uncaring, I really couldn't believe it. He even had a go at me for being in a "bad mood".

This week, we have been in contact via text etc but I'm finding it difficult adjusting to living at home once again and even more difficult knowing that he's still at uni, going out and having a good time. He can't grasp this at all. I went to visit him this weekend and he told me I was "not communicating" and "hard to access" (like I'm a ****ing bus or something). He also said, and this is what really pissed me off, that I seemed to 'have been very down recently', and that if I was so down I should 'do something about it myself and stop moaning'. This, from the boy who kept on at me for not telling him how I feel and now I rely on him for a bit of moral support he's telling me that, actually, he only wants to know how I feel if everything is nice and sunny and life is great.

I don't know what to do. Everything just recently has been going wrong for me. I thought I could rely on my relationship to stay steady through this. But it just seems to be falling down around me. On the train home yesterday, all I could think about was all the things that I don't like about him: the way he tells me about all the girls who try it on when he goes out (as if that's the kind of thing you tell your girlfriend), the way football in EVERY form comes before me (I don't mind him watching his team or playing but it pisses a girl off when they come second to a televised match where neither team is the one you support, boys)...just all the little things that when everything is good they are bearable, endearing even...but when things are bad they grate.

The thing that I hate most is that, if I finish this off then I have nothing here. He lives so close - all my friends are at unis so far away. I hate thinking that the only reason we are still together is because I have no-one else. But I'm starting to think that that is the case.

I'm sorry for writing an essay. If you read it, thank you: tell me what you think: what would you do if this was you?

show him this thread

I feel very strange posting this here. I have a serious issue with discussing my feelings with people and so why I'm posting it in a forum where lots of people can read this, I do not know. Maybe its because its anonymous, really.

Right. Here goes. I met my current boyfriend at college. We were friends for aaages and then actually got together in January of last year. As we were in our second year of college, we were having to think about unis and applying, etc, etc but mostly our choices were made when we got together. I wanted to move away from home, to get the whole "university experience". Anyways, to cut a long story short, I did move away: but just an hour away so that there was still some chance of us staying together. I've never told him this is why I went there. Now, thats all fallen through: I didn't like it there and got out.

When we first moved to uni (he's at uni, but one 20 mins from home) things were very difficult. Over the summer, we had been seeing each other loads and then seeing each other every 2-4 weeks was a bit of a shock. In the first semester that's how it went. We'd spend a weekend, or an evening, together every 2-4 weeks. We had the obvious ups and downs, but hit a real low just before Christmas: it had come to the point where I think we both felt that we were going to see how the Christmas vacation went, and take it from there. As it was, it was fantastic. Probably the best our relationship has been so far.

So, I went back to uni feeling good about that. But I was also coming to terms with the fact that I didn't like uni that much, and I came to realise that there was no sense in me stopping there if I didn't want to. I should point out that a lot of the arguements we had before Christmas had been focused around me not talking about how I feel all the time. I'm not good at it...it's not because of lack of trust. I just bottle things up. It's me. Anyway, with our new improved (lol) relationship, I told him pretty early on how I was feeling and he was really supportive about everything.

I left uni a week and a bit ago, and then had a big drama the day after when our car was stolen with all my stuff in (I hadn't unpacked the car from moving out). To say the least, I was low. That was the Friday.

Saturday, boyfriend comes round. This bit probably sounds pretty selfish, but I was needing a bit of support. It had been a tough week: I had left all my uni friends behind. Which I know was my choice, and the right one, but it was stressful none the less. And then with the car being stolen I was a state. He was so unsupportive and uncaring, I really couldn't believe it. He even had a go at me for being in a "bad mood".

This week, we have been in contact via text etc but I'm finding it difficult adjusting to living at home once again and even more difficult knowing that he's still at uni, going out and having a good time. He can't grasp this at all. I went to visit him this weekend and he told me I was "not communicating" and "hard to access" (like I'm a ****ing bus or something). He also said, and this is what really pissed me off, that I seemed to 'have been very down recently', and that if I was so down I should 'do something about it myself and stop moaning'. This, from the boy who kept on at me for not telling him how I feel and now I rely on him for a bit of moral support he's telling me that, actually, he only wants to know how I feel if everything is nice and sunny and life is great.

I don't know what to do. Everything just recently has been going wrong for me. I thought I could rely on my relationship to stay steady through this. But it just seems to be falling down around me. On the train home yesterday, all I could think about was all the things that I don't like about him: the way he tells me about all the girls who try it on when he goes out (as if that's the kind of thing you tell your girlfriend), the way football in EVERY form comes before me (I don't mind him watching his team or playing but it pisses a girl off when they come second to a televised match where neither team is the one you support, boys)...just all the little things that when everything is good they are bearable, endearing even...but when things are bad they grate.

The thing that I hate most is that, if I finish this off then I have nothing here. He lives so close - all my friends are at unis so far away. I hate thinking that the only reason we are still together is because I have no-one else. But I'm starting to think that that is the case.

I'm sorry for writing an essay. If you read it, thank you: tell me what you think: what would you do if this was you?