Ever felt like i'm feeling right now? Watch

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naivesincerity
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#41
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#41
(Original post by sumner7)
In the middle of february, the girl I was in love with felt strongly that me and her should be just mates, and since then I haven't been feeling great. It's a long distance relationship, we've never met, and she decided that she didn't love me last July, after we had met at the start of June through the net.

She said that the reason she wanted to break up then was because she thought we were going too fast and that she wasn't ready for another relationship, after her ex had cheated on her. But in February, she said that in her future she couldn't see us being anything more than just mates. I was willing to even move away to be closer to her, and I loved her with all my heart, but now there is a hole right through my heart.

I've tried to move on but I really can't. It's upsetting me a lot, and today I heard that she was with someone last night and they gave each other hand jobs. That upset me a bit, as I still have strong feelings for her. I can't help the way I feel about her, and I know she only wants to be mates and I want her to be happy, but it's really hard. She keeps talking about other guys and stuff, but when I offered to go and see her, everytime she kept putting it off.

I don't want to upset her, but i'm finding it really hard to move on and I miss the way that we used to be in contact with each other a lot, but now, because she's "changed", she doesn't want me. I would have changed myself and done anything to have her back, but I know i've gotta move on. It's heartbreaking though....

I spoke to a mate of hers tonight and he fancies her too. He wants to ask her out and i told him to make her happy, but at the end of our conversation, he said something that really upset me - he said that he was told that she likes him more than me but - when i've spoke to her before, she said that her and her mate would only ever be mates.

It also seems like she's got over this very quickly, while nearly a month on, I am still feeling the pain. I would do absolutely anything to be with her, I was even thinking about moving away so I could be closer to her earlier in the year.

All my thoughts lead straight back to her though. I want her so badly, I need her so badly, and I can't think of spending my life with anyone else. I would do absolutely anything to get her back, and she deserves to be happy, but I want to make her happy.

I'm really trying to move on, but i'm finding it virtually impossible and i've been crying a lot over the past month.

This is why long distance things can be a bad idea......i think you need to move on, it sounds harsh, but sometimes you've got to just be practical, and find soemone whos a more posotive influence on your life,it will come if you let it, i also think your mate sounds like a bit of a ****,like hes trying to wind you up
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sumner7
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#42
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#42
(Original post by naivesincerity)
i also think your mate sounds like a bit of a ****,like hes trying to wind you up
It's not my mate, it's her mate, and as i've already said, they've been groping each other and i only found out the other day that while I was still in love with her, she gave him a blow job.

I know that maybe now's not the right time for me to go into another relationship, but i'm finding it really hard to cope without someone to love and to love me back.

I've been to hell and back over the last few months, and I don't know what to do to make things better. I always make stupid mistakes, and I hate myself for it. Not just in this situation, but in other situations i've got in my life at the moment as well. :bawling:
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khil
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#43
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#43
(Original post by sumner7)
I'm not - it's just i've been feeling low for far too long now.

I'm not happy and i've been trying to cope, but I just can't. I've been breaking down a lot recently. :bawling:
You'll find someone in the end. My church youth leader didn't meet her husband til after she graduated - and now they've been married for almost a year and there's a baby coming in June!

You just gotta be optimistic - there's two sides to every coin. So you've lost your ex - it was obviously not true love cus she left you, but it still felt amazing, right? - cherish the memories then. And think about it, if that felt that perfect, imagine what true love is gonna be like! And now you're actually free to go find it, rather than be stuck with someone who doesn't love you.

It's ok to feel down - I didn't think I'd ever be happy again when I first broke up with my ex, but now I'm my normal-self again! - but it took 2-3 months. So it does take time. And our relationship didn't last that long - less than half a year. What I'm saying is, you need time to heal. Just go slowly. But things WILL get better now you just gotta believe it. There'll probably always be a part of me that feel as though I'd given up a lot for God etc cus truth be told, there'll always be a scar - but good has come out of it and I've learnt loads, and I've still got my memories which are still special. The scar won't go away - but you gain something from it when you learn from it.
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NikolaiJ
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#44
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#44
(Original post by sumner7)
It's not my mate, it's her mate, and as i've already said, they've been groping each other and i only found out the other day that while I was still in love with her, she gave him a blow job.

I know that maybe now's not the right time for me to go into another relationship, but i'm finding it really hard to cope without someone to love and to love me back.

I've been to hell and back over the last few months, and I don't know what to do to make things better. I always make stupid mistakes, and I hate myself for it. Not just in this situation, but in other situations i've got in my life at the moment as well. :bawling:
Hmmm. Coming from a guy who's been in far too many (crap) female situations to keep track of - forget about them, find something else to while away the hours. Go to a gym, take up a sport, women can be quite the pain in the ass especially when you believe you are 'in love' with them (sorry, I'm a cynic and don't believe in love right now). Bear in mind the fact that love is a feeling shared, if there's noone to share it with it's not love. Just take a moment to reflect, then plan for the future and act upon it, DON'T WALLOW and make the same mistake(s) I did.
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sumner7
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#45
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#45
I've thought about maybe doing 5-a-side footy, but I haven't found out much information yet, and I don't know whether there are teams looking for players down here.

My relationship problems at the moment are a fcuking joke. I hate my life so much right now, and I do wonder whether I actually will find someone to share my life with and love and love me back.

My mate was on the verge on going Asexual before he met his first g/f, but she treated him badly and they split up, but at least he's with someone else now, who he met just before he split up with his ex, and they love each other a lot.

I wish I had luck like that.
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khil
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#46
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#46
(Original post by NikolaiJ)
Hmmm. Coming from a guy who's been in far too many (crap) female situations to keep track of - forget about them, find something else to while away the hours. Go to a gym, take up a sport, women can be quite the pain in the ass especially when you believe you are 'in love' with them (sorry, I'm a cynic and don't believe in love right now). Bear in mind the fact that love is a feeling shared, if there's noone to share it with it's not love. Just take a moment to reflect, then plan for the future and act upon it, DON'T WALLOW and make the same mistake(s) I did.
Love is unconditional and sacrificial - not saying people give that sort of love, but that's what love is and if you love someone, that's the sort of love you'll try and give. It's more than a mere feeling or a heated passion and it accepts people for who they are even when they see their flaws. Love is a choice, basically, and a verb.

Look, Sumner, just wait. Go slowly. There's no point in trying hard to find a relationship cus you'll just keep going into all the wrong ones. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Don't cause yourself unnecessary heartbreaks. And when you finally find love - true love - you'll be glad you waited.
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NikolaiJ
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#47
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#47
(Original post by sumner7)
I've thought about maybe doing 5-a-side footy, but I haven't found out much information yet, and I don't know whether there are teams looking for players down here.

My relationship problems at the moment are a fcuking joke. I hate my life so much right now, and I do wonder whether I actually will find someone to share my life with and love and love me back.

My mate was on the verge on going Asexual before he met his first g/f, but she treated him badly and they split up, but at least he's with someone else now, who he met just before he split up with his ex, and they love each other a lot.

I wish I had luck like that.
Dear God monsuier, stop wishing this and that! I've done what you're doing, you can't wish for love, it doesn't just come falling out of the air - well, not to most people.

Sorry if I sound unsympathetic, but you gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and just get on with things. Go put yourself about, concentrate on working blah blah blah... don't hit walls, they hurt. Ask my bedroom wall and the knuckle shaped dent that adorns it.
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khil
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#48
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#48
(Original post by NikolaiJ)
Dear God monsuier, stop wishing this and that! I've done what you're doing, you can't wish for love, it doesn't just come falling out of the air - well, not to most people.

Sorry if I sound unsympathetic, but you gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and just get on with things. Go put yourself about, concentrate on working blah blah blah... don't hit walls, they hurt. Ask my bedroom wall and the knuckle shaped dent that adorns it.
Ouch that must've hurt! I resort to punching teddy bears usually Although at times wish there was something for me to break - when I get mad sometimes I feel like throwing a mug at the wall of something :rolleyes:

Yeh, Sumner, stop thinking about it. Everything will remind you of her, even the slightest thing, but just say "No" to those sort of things and get it out of your mind. Gradually it'll go - and you can get on with life. *huggles*
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sumner7
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#49
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#49
I had a dream about her last night, that's how hard it is to get it out of my head.

I know me and her will never be together now, but hopefully things will get better for me.
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magiccarpet
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#50
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#50
how can u lov her if u've never met her huh?? :confused:
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sumner7
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#51
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#51
It's hard to explain. But I did love her, no matter what anyone else thinks.
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khil
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#52
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#52
(Original post by sumner7)
I had a dream about her last night, that's how hard it is to get it out of my head.

I know me and her will never be together now, but hopefully things will get better for me.
*big huggles*

Like I said, I know I dreamt about my ex 3 times, each time we basically had the most fantastic day together, and then before we departed we had a last kiss. And each time I woke up feeling completely empty and alone and it felt like I was falling through a hole and it felt like I'm never gonna stop falling and all I wanted to do was sleep and wish he was back. Things reminded me of him - everything, including the fact that my friend is tall, or someone saying I'm cute (cute-funny) - everything reminded me of him. The night he left after our last date, I couldn't stop crying. I cried in church and I carried on crying round my friend's 18th party - I hid myself in the toilets and sat on the floor crying. And I hid myself in church in the toilets and just cried for about an hour. So look, I know it's hard! - but trust me, you'll get through this.

And Magiccarpet - how you can love someone without ever meeting them - it happens. I loved my ex as God's child before we were friends, and I more than fancied him before we've ever met, or seen each other's photos. And when we met - the 3 meetings that we had, 2 of which were dates, was the most perfect and amazing times for me ever. And trust me, it is annoying when you like someone this much and you've never met cus your head tells you it makes absolutely NO SENSE! - but your feelings don't stop.
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NikolaiJ
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#53
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#53
(Original post by irisng)
*big huggles*

Like I said, I know I dreamt about my ex 3 times, each time we basically had the most fantastic day together, and then before we departed we had a last kiss. And each time I woke up feeling completely empty and alone and it felt like I was falling through a hole and it felt like I'm never gonna stop falling and all I wanted to do was sleep and wish he was back. Things reminded me of him - everything, including the fact that my friend is tall, or someone saying I'm cute (cute-funny) - everything reminded me of him. The night he left after our last date, I couldn't stop crying. I cried in church and I carried on crying round my friend's 18th party - I hid myself in the toilets and sat on the floor crying. And I hid myself in church in the toilets and just cried for about an hour. So look, I know it's hard! - but trust me, you'll get through this.

And Magiccarpet - how you can love someone without ever meeting them - it happens. I loved my ex as God's child before we were friends, and I more than fancied him before we've ever met, or seen each other's photos. And when we met - the 3 meetings that we had, 2 of which were dates, was the most perfect and amazing times for me ever. And trust me, it is annoying when you like someone this much and you've never met cus your head tells you it makes absolutely NO SENSE! - but your feelings don't stop.
OK, I agree that to an extent you can't help your feelings at all, theres a lass at the moment who I'm quite taken with, but she's got with another guy, I, like you, thought it was the end of the world (actually the FIRST time this happened to me I thought this - the 3rd time isn't that bad :P) but it's not, you just keep on living, you find other things, women are not (thank the good ****ing lord) the be all and end all. They never will be either. I'd gladly be attached to one, but once you realise this you'll probably be OK (or turn out gay (j/k))
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sumner7
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#54
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#54
Nah, I don't think i'll turn out gay.

I'm staying at a mates house on Friday night and the 4 of us who are staying there are going to the pub near his house to have a lads night out - we'll probs be getting a few drinks in and playing a few games of pool. So that's something to look forward to.
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NikolaiJ
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#55
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#55
(Original post by sumner7)
Nah, I don't think i'll turn out gay.

I'm staying at a mates house on Friday night and the 4 of us who are staying there are going to the pub near his house to have a lads night out - we'll probs be getting a few drinks in and playing a few games of pool. So that's something to look forward to.
Well, quite. Just don't get all mopey about it, I mean you didn't even meet the lass. I'm not saying it makes it any easier - actually I am, you never made any physical contact so you're not missing anything. Just be happy you're not dead, or you've got all your limbs, or you can go out and get lashed with all your mates and pick up some rank bird... Just chill out, don't try and force relationships, they suck then.

Sorry if I've been a bit harsh, but sometimes people need a slap upside the head to make them realise all is not lost.
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NikolaiJ
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#56
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#56
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, the one team in Devon is Torquay... UP THE GULLS... TO HELL WITH FILTHY GRECIANS!
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magiccarpet
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#57
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#57
im not sure whats happened. if you've never met her, then how can you have e kissed her or been together?you cant have been going out.

you are therefore less likely to meet her now you are not going out than before. and no she didnt cheat on you. she's never met you.

but anyhow all the love is in your head cos u can only fancy someone youve never met. so keep going. dont worry bout what she has and hasnt done, just keep crushing on her rather than being miserable trying to get over something that never happened. you will meet the right person(MEET as in MEET UP WITH) so dont worry
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sumner7
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#58
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#58
(Original post by NikolaiJ)
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, the one team in Devon is Torquay... UP THE GULLS... TO HELL WITH FILTHY GRECIANS!
Well we get more people to our games in the conference than you do in League 1!!!
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NikolaiJ
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#59
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#59
(Original post by sumner7)
Well we get more people to our games in the conference than you do in League 1!!!
yeah, well.... We get kicked out of the St. Lukes Bowl for not going to a match.

...

and fined £250
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sumner7
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#60
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#60
Going back to this girl, she told me today that she gave her mate a blow job again when she finished school - I just asked her why doesn't she just go out with him as they've done so much together and they obviously fancy each other - but she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. What she has with him is far more than friendship - normal boy/girl mates don't give each other head after school. It has hurt me a little bit but as always, i'll keep on going. Who knows what ****'s gonna be round the corner next??? :bawling:
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