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Is anyone else ALWAYS second best?

I'm one of those people.... :sigh:

My parents preferred my sister massively, and I was always placed second best to her.
I never really had a best friend, just friends, who only seemed to talk to me when someone better wasn't around, and I've always been left out of get togethers like shopping trips, gigs, sleepovers etc.
Never top of the class.....I worked my butt off but I was always the "ok" student.
Never had a specific talent, was "ok" at stuff but I wasn't really good at anything

So there's my moan.....
But THIS is how I know I'll never get a boyfriend unless it's a second best situation. I'm not the sort of girl guys go after (I've never had a boyfriend, so yeah...) I know that no one will like me enough to want just ME....cause that's never happened before, I've never even had a friend who wanted to spend time with me unless it was with loads of others, so why would a guy ever want to??
I guess I just feel like crap cause I went to a bar with a group of friends one night a couple of weeks ago, and I was speaking to a guy for ages, and I thought he might actually *shock horror* LIKE me. But later on he made a move on my friend (who rejected him) and after she rejected him he started being even more flirty with me. When I found put what had happened with my friend and confronted him, he acted like it shouldn't bother me :mad:

. Why am I always second best? I don't want to be someone that people have to settle for cause they can't get anyone better :frown:

Is anyone else constantly "second best?"

Reply 1

MSB

17

Kill your sister and make it look like an accident.

Reply 2

hunnie

There is no such thing as second best... don't let yourself believe in it.

I am sure the right guy will come along... I mean just be patient.

I was always the girl who always got the 'thug' type guys.. which i despise..And i went through a phase of just forgetting about all boys and concentrating on my studies... and very funnily. I went to the library one day.. and there he was.. i wont say ' the one' lol.. because i personally do not believe in love, but he is 'perfect' ( i so hope i don't jinx this lol '. oh and i have been with him for like 8 months :smile:

trust me babe.. patience IS a virtue!!

Reply 3

KelZee

8

Yup, I feel like this too.

I always had the feeling at school that people were only hanging around me because they had nobody better to talk to.

The same went for college as well.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

No, Im the one who is always in front of you :smile:

Remember that for everytime you come second, someone else is a winner :biggrin:

Reply 5

hunnie

Anonymous

No, Im the one who is always in front of you :smile:

Remember that for everytime you come second, someone else is a winner :biggrin:

I AM CONFUSED! :s

Reply 6

Rubix

Trap her, torture her, rape her. Kill her.

Problem sorted.

Reply 7

JamesE123

Don't worry, i often used to feel second best and left out of group activities and it made me very shy.

I found the best way to cope was just to be myself and as I became more comfortable about who I was, despite the fact that i was not one of the more popular people at school, it made me more confident and sociable and I got to know people better and became more involved in groups.

I'm sure you will have no problem in getting a boyfriend, different lads look for different things in girls but as long as you're confident in yourself you'll be more attractive and then you'll find the right guy for you, there's somebody for everyone.

Just don't give up, you may feel second best but many people can feel this way and it isnt usually the case, we're all special in our own way.
Hope this helps x

Reply 8

Cocaine Socialist

11

you know there is always going to be someone better at you than everything you ever do.
i mean 1 in 6 billion. hopeless

Reply 9

necessarily benevolent

14

You want to try being me. I'm ALWAYS last.

Reply 10

laurenlodge

19

Yeh, I know what you mean - I don't excel at anything, I'm just kinda average! But I think you've got to reach the point where you have to be happy with just being who you are, really.
I'm getting there.

Reply 11

username163729

12

Turn average into great.

Reply 12

PointeShoes-x

14

I know what you mean, I've always been a 'second best' person and it really bugs me. Academically I'm second best to my brother and my parents prefer him in general because he's a nicer person and causes them less trouble. And then I'm second best to my best friend too. I've known her for years and I love her to bits of course but I do think it's affected my confidence a bit. I'm clever but she's more clever. I'm a good dancer but she's an amazing dancer. I'm pretty but she's stunning. I'm nice but she's really popular. Argh, it can be so frustrating at times!

Reply 13

Danielle89

14

Im guessing you're about 15-16 and devastated you've not had a shag yet? Well you're not alone, people do lose their virginities legally you know :wink:

Reply 14

ttx

13

Anonymous

I
But THIS is how I know I'll never get a boyfriend unless it's a second best situation. I'm not the sort of girl guys go after (I've never had a boyfriend, so yeah...) I know that no one will like me enough to want just ME....cause that's never happened before,

*hug*

Just because it's not happened yet, it doesn't mean it won't happen in the future. Despite popular rumours there isn't a "type" that guys go after, each guys is different and likes different things. You're going to be the bottom of some guys list, but you're also going to be the top of some guys list. You just need to find those guys (or be patient and one will turn up).

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Danielle89

Im guessing you're about 15-16 and devastated you've not had a shag yet? Well you're not alone, people do lose their virginities legally you know :wink:

Nope, I'm almost 18...

Reply 16

Danielle89

14

Anonymous

Nope, I'm almost 18...

Same difference I suppose. Im 20 in June and when I turn 20 I'll consider myself eligible to complain that I've never had a boyfriend considering I'll have been at uni for 2 years and had plenty of opportunities for meeting new and interesting people by then. You're not at uni yet (dont think you can be can you? Not for more than a couple months if you have) so you dont know how obvious it is yet why its so hard to find anyone at school - no variation at all. Give yourself a chance.