boyfriend and his ex

hey. well here goes....I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. Before we met he had been in a 5 year relationship (he split up with her about 7 months before we met.) They split up on mutual terms and she now has a new bf. However they are still v.good friends and talk on phone occasionally. They met up over xmas for a drink and she told him 'she doesnt want to die not knowing whether they could have worked out.' He says although he still cares about her there is no love there and he couldnt get back with her.
They are planning to meet again over easter and I jst cant help feeling that I am just passing time until the day they get back together.
Help some1!! Should I jst trust what he says or do i have a right to b worried.
H x

It seems as though she's more in to him as he is in to her.

You have no option but to trust him, since he is your boyfriend, and it wouldn't be in your interests to stifle him and tell him he can't see her.

This sounds totally harsh, but it's not intended that way:

Basically; if he says he wants to be with you, and has remained with you, you have a reason to trust him. If she wants him, but he is the guy for you, he'll resist her advances.

If he does still like her and wants to get back with her, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

IF he likes her and you don't let him go, you'll be stuck in a relationship with a guy who prefers another girl. IF he likes her and you do let him see her,you will have lost a guy who liked another girl better. Neither of these situations are favourable, but they're the realistic options if he does still like her.

IF he is true to his word, and he doesn't like her and you don't let him go, he'll think you don't trust him. IF you do let him go, he'll feel good that you trust him, and he'll love you all the more for it.

Of course you have a right to be worried, but you can be safe in the knowledge that they broke up for a reason, and thus couldn't "work it out" - he's bound to see this if he's any kind of man.

I hope it goes well for you, and that he's true to his word. This sort of thing is the BIG test for couples.

I suppose I can see where your boyf is coming from...its not a nice feeling feeling that the person you are going out with would rather b with some1 else (i dont know if thats how he feels!) A lot of me does trust him but there is part of me that thinks once she moves back home (they split cos the pressure of her being at uni was too much) the thing that stopped them being together will have gone and they'll both realise they want to b togther!

It seems as though she's more in to him as he is in to her.

You have no option but to trust him, since he is your boyfriend, and it wouldn't be in your interests to stifle him and tell him he can't see her.

IF he is true to his word, and he doesn't like her and you don't let him go, he'll think you don't trust him. IF you do let him go, he'll feel good that you trust him, and he'll love you all the more for it.

this seems to be how my bf felt! me and my ex split up cos i thought he cheated on me. but when i found out he didnt i was really hurt in front of my bf, so he must have thought i wanted to get back with him. "the thing that stopped them being together will have gone and they'll both realise they want to b togther" seems to be how he feels.

what should people like me/ur bf do to reassure people like u and my bf?
i've told him it'll never happen but he still broke up with me.

the way i see it: if he gets back with her, it means he was using u cos she was too far away. dont take 2nd best girl, find a decent guy. its better o be with some1 who loves U not someone who want to be with someoen else.

im fairly certain if his gf know he's with someoen else, she'll back off. try to meet her and be frinds with her.

Well im not sure what he/u can do really. He has told me time and time again he wont get back together with her a) cos he loves me and b) he couldnt imagine doin anything romantic with her. At the time I believe him but then if im feeling a bit down and start to think about it I jst worry. I think the only thing u can do is show it and not get back with your ex. My bf talks about his ex alot but he says she basically was the last 5 yrs of his life so any conversation for example holidays, birthdays usually involves her. I dont want to finish him over something that might not happen, the way i see it is that the only way Im goin to know is to stick with him and risk getting hurt in the end

hmm theres always something between ex's and they can hardly ever be friends afterwards

magiccarpet - this thread is not about u and ur ex!
giddychick - you have to trust him with what hes told you, he does sound genuine and im sure he wouldnt stay with you if he still had feelings for someone else.
lessthanthree is right - its a big test and if you can get through it ur relationship will be all the better for it.
best of luck

no but the situation between me and my ex and my bf is exactly the same as giddychick's, except the other way round (ie im the one just out of a 5 yr relationship, he's the injured party)

yes it is a big test but i think even for them to be friends, especially if they only broke up recently, is very very hard. i know i'd either angry at my ex, or get back with him.

all you can do is trust him. but remember girl, if it feels wrong then it is wrong and if u r unhappy u should dump him

hmm theres always something between ex's and they can hardly ever be friends afterwards

hmm theres always something between ex's and they can hardly ever be friends afterwards