Shy girl... Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 9 years ago
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So there's a girl I like and she has ended up back at my room a few times in the space of a week.

Generally we've both been drunk`and kissed while out and one thing has lead to another...although the last time we weren't...

The problem is her shyness...I don't mind shy girls as they tend to come out of their shells but on this occassion because I really like the girl I feel more under pressure to stir the conversation.

Each morning after we have ended up in bed til very late afternoon and chatting isn't a problem then. Likewise the other night we were talking for about 4 hours...the shyness thing even came up...saying she's even shy around girls...although I didn't notice it. So it seems it's a real issue for her...

Another issue cropped up...she refers to other girls quite a bit...saying she thought I liked them etc. when I don't in any other way than as a friend, suggesting I don't talk to her enough in general.

It's very early days but the reason I am perhaps more chatty with the other girls is because (we walk to lectures together as a group) they are chatty back and the conversation flows. I do get that with her too but when other girls are around she tends to withdraw into the background unless she's drunk...the other night we were both sat in my room and I looked into her eyes and smiled, she looked away akwardly but smiling saying "I get self-conscious when people look at me."

The girl is both stunning and intelligent so has no reason to lack self-esteem but obviously does...

I think with time it will probably improve but whilst we've not always been drunk at the point of spending the night together...it does tend to stem from going out and drinking then spending a lengthy time chatting (the chats get longer each time) then her coming back to mine...

It's a lot of fun but I'd rather overcome her shyness so alcohol wasn't the catalyst...

I think we've made it farly obvious that we like each other but her shyness is actually making me more cautious lol! A part of me thinks if the shyness is an ongoing issue then move on...but at the same time I do genuinely like her so it'd be a shame...

Advice much appreciated!
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hannah(:
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Give her time.
I'm quite shy in general and just I just find it takes a bit more time for me to be myself around someone.
she obviously likes you, and shyness is usually cured in time
That's all I can say really...
Good luck
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LozengeC
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As she gets to know you more she'll be more open, she sounds a lot like me to be honest, and it'll take a few months perhaps, but she'll get to the point where she can be really open with you, just give it time.
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shygirl
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Do I...know you? :awesome:

Really though, it could take her a while to be comfortable around you. Shyness is a cow.
"she refers to other girls quite a bit...saying she thought I liked them", kinda sounds like she likes you but isn't sure why you like her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by hannah(:)
Give her time.
I'm quite shy in general and just I just find it takes a bit more time for me to be myself around someone.
she obviously likes you, and shyness is usually cured in time
That's all I can say really...
Good luck
The thing is I've known her since september so it's not a fresh thing, although we have hung around in different social circles before, and the only time I'd tend to see her was when I was with other girls...

The other concern I forgot to mention is because she lacks self-esteem she easily takes things the wrong way...Like we kissed months ago but she was drunker than I was so I didn't take things further...she thought it was because I didn't like her, so I'm feeling that if I don't act then it will go that way again...to be fair I didn't help matters by getting with other girls in those months but I didn't know she actually liked me...

Thanks.
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senigma90
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Definitely sounds like she likes you.. As above, give her more time, sounds like she's getting more confident and comfortable with you already.
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jaz_jaz
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(Original post by shygirl)
Do I...know you? :awesome:

Really though, it could take her a while to be comfortable around you. Shyness is a cow.
"she refers to other girls quite a bit...saying she thought I liked them", kinda sounds like she likes you but isn't sure why you like her.
this.
she likes you. dont give up on her, she'll open up more as she gets more comfortable around you!
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zoelouise
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When im with the guy i like im totally comfortable and not shy at all...but add his friends or even strangers and I get quite shy...maybe thats what she gets?
Its not a nice feeling
Carry on the way you are she might come out of it =]
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hannah(:
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The thing is I've known her since september so it's not a fresh thing, although we have hung around in different social circles before, and the only time I'd tend to see her was when I was with other girls...

The other concern I forgot to mention is because she lacks self-esteem she easily takes things the wrong way...Like we kissed months ago but she was drunker than I was so I didn't take things further...she thought it was because I didn't like her, so I'm feeling that if I don't act then it will go that way again...to be fair I didn't help matters by getting with other girls in those months but I didn't know she actually liked me...

Thanks.
I think because she's shy she's not going to...
how do I put it...
wave a banner saying exactly how she feels ?
I mean, I think she likes you but she just doesn't know how to say it
and if she's got low self esteem she'll always be telling herself you don't like her, and doubting things
so if you really like her, show her
and soon enough she'll come out of her shell, I promise
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by hannah(:)
I think because she's shy she's not going to...
how do I put it...
wave a banner saying exactly how she feels ?
I mean, I think she likes you but she just doesn't know how to say it
and if she's got low self esteem she'll always be telling herself you don't like her, and doubting things
so if you really like her, show her
and soon enough she'll come out of her shell, I promise
Hmm I suppose that's a good point lol...

But it's the showing her without making her feel uncomfortable that's hard...

For example, the other day we saw one of her friends off, then we were both going to go our seperate ways, were about to kiss and she sort of took a nervous leap backwards, then in the end suggested she comes back to mine.

She's not inexperienced...she's had more sexual partners than I have...not that it's anything sexual that's an issue...and we're both over 18 that's why the shyness thing is a bit of a suprise if that's the right word...this reminds me of being 15/16 again in some ways lol...

This is why generally I prefer building up a really good relationship with a girl before sleeping with them as when it does happen it makes things a whole lot less complicated and awkward lol...
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amt250
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Give her lots of time?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by amt250)
Give her lots of time?
Time is fine as long as there's progress

Will see how it goes...might invite her over to watch a film at some point in the week...she is ridiculously busy in the evenings though...

The other thing that's annoying is she doesn't reply to my texts particularly hastily, so it's not like I can make any kind of ground there...

Cheers.
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hannah(:
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmm I suppose that's a good point lol...

But it's the showing her without making her feel uncomfortable that's hard...

For example, the other day we saw one of her friends off, then we were both going to go our seperate ways, were about to kiss and she sort of took a nervous leap backwards, then in the end suggested she comes back to mine.

She's not inexperienced...she's had more sexual partners than I have...not that it's anything sexual that's an issue...and we're both over 18 that's why the shyness thing is a bit of a suprise if that's the right word...this reminds me of being 15/16 again in some ways lol...

This is why generally I prefer building up a really good relationship with a girl before sleeping with them as when it does happen it makes things a whole lot less complicated and awkward lol...
then maybe she's still figuring you out, and is not sure what she wants yet
I say don't try and do anything for now, like I said, give it time and you'll figure each other out
in the mean time, try not to do anything when you're drunk, easier said than done :p: but it'll just make things more awkward
awquard
awquward ??
damn I can never spell that
but yeah
good luck
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 9 years ago
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(Original post by hannah(:)
then maybe she's still figuring you out, and is not sure what she wants yet
I say don't try and do anything for now, like I said, give it time and you'll figure each other out
in the mean time, try not to do anything when you're drunk, easier said than done :p: but it'll just make things more awkward
awquard
awquward ??
damn I can never spell that
but yeah
good luck
Yeah I guess that makes sense! Will just see how it goes...if things fizzle out they fizzle out...

The trying not to do anything when drunk is difficult, you're right lol, especially when if I'm unwilling to do something when drunk she takes it the wrong way thinking I don't like her :P On one occassion she was trying it on with me and there was another girl in the room who I was chatting to at the time, she got in a strop and went off...then she ended up being in another guys room...nothing happened but still lol...

I vowed never to do complicated again after past mistakes :P
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