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god damn women! (long post)
Apologies for any offense caused by the title, but argh, you really do deserve it sometimes.
I've always been pretty good at the understanding women thing, but I'm completely lost now. If anyone can stomach the insanely long read, I'd appreciate the advice.
You're probably wondering what on earth I'm dribbling on about, so perhaps it's time to explain a little. Things ended with my girlfriend of around 18 months, about 4 weeks ago. It was long distance, we usually saw each other about every 3rd weekend, and for a week in holidays. It'd always been hard at times but easily worth it.
Things changed a bit around October time, she'd always had the we'll be together for ever attitude, and it changed to an I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I love you now, attitude. Growing up I suppose. Anyway, things weren't brilliant at October half term, it's hard to say what was really wrong, this just weren't the same any more (from her POV that is).
I saw her for a couple of weekends in November and that was good, but in the weeks after that I missed her a lot more, and felt myself becoming less sure of her confidence in the future of the relationship. I honestly don't know if that feeling was just paranoia, or me noticing something on some sub-concious level. We had more arguments about nothing, and it made us both unhappy. A big one before xmas seemed to have a lasting affect on her, and it ruined the week I had with her just before xmas, and I guess it was the last straw for her.
We decided not to see each other at new year, and just argued and stressed each other out more for the first couple of weeks of January. We decided to take a break and decide what we wanted, and after a couple of weeks away from each other, thinking, we decided we both wanted to make it work. I couldn't see her for another couple of weeks though. We ended up arguing and getting stressed again, I was saying she wasn't being affectionate and it was making things hard, she was saying we're always arguing and we're not happy any more, it's just the odd happy time between fights and unhappiness.
So 4 weeks ago she said it wasn't working and she doesn't even know if she still loves me and she doesn't want to do it any more. I agreed it wasn't working, but thought we could get back to the year of being amazingly good and happy that we had, we just need to sit down together, work out what went wrong, change whatever needs changing to fix it, and start again. She kept saying things like 'i just think we've had our time', and 'i really don't think we can get back to how it was, things have changed, we've changed, we don't work any more, we're not right for each other any more' etc.
She told me I just needed to accept that, so, I did. I was a mess for a week or two, but after a while I accepted it. It's over, possible really happy future thrown away, that sucks. It's not that I don't care, I love her the same as always, and all I want is to be with her, for the rest of my life. I just accepted that it wasn't going to happen, and got on with what was going to be a less happy life, but a life all the same, so I may as well get on with living it.
We were on good terms and speaking occasionally, just about general things, not really "us". Until she tells me that she's surprised that I seem to be fine with it, and just moving on, and that I didn't call her in the last couple of weeks to try to persuade her to try again.
I don't know if this is her being miffed that I'd accepted it so soon and agreed to move on, or if it was a hint that she wanted to be persuaded to try again.
It's no use me trying to persuade her, because I say the same things. We've barely seen each other since November, of course we can work it out. We are right for each other, it's just been a shitty couple of months. We can start again and make each other happy again. And she says the same, 'no, I don't think we can.'
I think her bringing up the 'I'm surprised you didn't try to persuade me' really messed with my head, because I was moving on, and suddenly it's like woah, maybe there is still hope. She's been saying all this time that she doesn't know what she wants and needs time to work that out. I assumed from all the 'we've had our time' and 'we don't work any more', that what she wanted wasn't me, so I was moving on.
But I don't understand what she has to think about if she's so sure it's over, why not just accept it and move on. what the fudge is she thinking about and working out?? I had no idea what to do, I was just angry with her for giving up so easily and throwing it all away without trying again, and we ended up having a fight the other night where I said she was acting like a child, and adults work relationships out, they don't just run away and give in when it gets hard, and I may have called her a coward too.
Not clever, I know. I didn't mean it, or not in that way, I somehow mean a watered down version of the sentiment. Anyway, I apologised for that little outburst. We talked and I said, I don't understand what you're thinking about and working out, when clearly, you think we don't work any more and things can't be right again. She said I don't know half the things she's been thinking and feeling recently... which is a fair point, because she hasn't told me. I asked, but she didn't want to tell me.
So, what do I do? My man brain has devised a plan of action. Firstly, I know what I want, which is always good. If she called tomorrow and wanted to get back together, I'd say no. You see, I've loved her for a long time, and to me, what we had was something really special, that I would fight to the death for. I risked and sacrificed a lot for this relationship, and it meant more to me than something you can abandon when it gets hard. Knowing that she doesn't want me, and just wanted to throw it all away, leaves me with a kind of, 'well f*ck you then' feeling. But dammit, I love the girl more than anything, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
So what I want is for us to both really want to make it work, then we can think about how to do that. It's nothing that's going to be fixed overnight, I don't even know how we'd fix it, I just know I want to try, and I want her to want to as well.
So, for the next few days, I'll let this random chatting thing go on, and see what happens. We are actually getting on quite well, so if fun and irresistable me gives her something to think about then yay. But I'm pretty sure nothing will change, so in a few days, I'll ask what all this stuff she's been thinking and feeling is, that I don't know about. If it's not something that gives us a chance, then I'll say: 'you clearly don't want to try again', let's just move on.
I'll end contact there, and get on with life. If after a couple of weeks without me she isn't missing me and wanting to sort something out, I'll know it's definitely over for good, and move on.
That plan seems alright to me??.....
Most of me says, you know what, I can take a hint. This girl doesn't want you any more, it's clearly over. Do yourself a favour and move on.
But there's a little but saying, if it's so over why is she complaining that I was moving on too soon and not trying to persuade her. What the f*ck does she have to think about when she's so sure we can't make it work?
And as long as there's that uncertainty, the little bit of me that would do anything to have her back won't rest.
Dammit, I was relatively fine a week ago... women! what is wrong with you people??
I've always been pretty good at the understanding women thing, but I'm completely lost now. If anyone can stomach the insanely long read, I'd appreciate the advice.
You're probably wondering what on earth I'm dribbling on about, so perhaps it's time to explain a little. Things ended with my girlfriend of around 18 months, about 4 weeks ago. It was long distance, we usually saw each other about every 3rd weekend, and for a week in holidays. It'd always been hard at times but easily worth it.
Things changed a bit around October time, she'd always had the we'll be together for ever attitude, and it changed to an I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I love you now, attitude. Growing up I suppose. Anyway, things weren't brilliant at October half term, it's hard to say what was really wrong, this just weren't the same any more (from her POV that is).
I saw her for a couple of weekends in November and that was good, but in the weeks after that I missed her a lot more, and felt myself becoming less sure of her confidence in the future of the relationship. I honestly don't know if that feeling was just paranoia, or me noticing something on some sub-concious level. We had more arguments about nothing, and it made us both unhappy. A big one before xmas seemed to have a lasting affect on her, and it ruined the week I had with her just before xmas, and I guess it was the last straw for her.
We decided not to see each other at new year, and just argued and stressed each other out more for the first couple of weeks of January. We decided to take a break and decide what we wanted, and after a couple of weeks away from each other, thinking, we decided we both wanted to make it work. I couldn't see her for another couple of weeks though. We ended up arguing and getting stressed again, I was saying she wasn't being affectionate and it was making things hard, she was saying we're always arguing and we're not happy any more, it's just the odd happy time between fights and unhappiness.
So 4 weeks ago she said it wasn't working and she doesn't even know if she still loves me and she doesn't want to do it any more. I agreed it wasn't working, but thought we could get back to the year of being amazingly good and happy that we had, we just need to sit down together, work out what went wrong, change whatever needs changing to fix it, and start again. She kept saying things like 'i just think we've had our time', and 'i really don't think we can get back to how it was, things have changed, we've changed, we don't work any more, we're not right for each other any more' etc.
She told me I just needed to accept that, so, I did. I was a mess for a week or two, but after a while I accepted it. It's over, possible really happy future thrown away, that sucks. It's not that I don't care, I love her the same as always, and all I want is to be with her, for the rest of my life. I just accepted that it wasn't going to happen, and got on with what was going to be a less happy life, but a life all the same, so I may as well get on with living it.
We were on good terms and speaking occasionally, just about general things, not really "us". Until she tells me that she's surprised that I seem to be fine with it, and just moving on, and that I didn't call her in the last couple of weeks to try to persuade her to try again.
I don't know if this is her being miffed that I'd accepted it so soon and agreed to move on, or if it was a hint that she wanted to be persuaded to try again.
It's no use me trying to persuade her, because I say the same things. We've barely seen each other since November, of course we can work it out. We are right for each other, it's just been a shitty couple of months. We can start again and make each other happy again. And she says the same, 'no, I don't think we can.'
I think her bringing up the 'I'm surprised you didn't try to persuade me' really messed with my head, because I was moving on, and suddenly it's like woah, maybe there is still hope. She's been saying all this time that she doesn't know what she wants and needs time to work that out. I assumed from all the 'we've had our time' and 'we don't work any more', that what she wanted wasn't me, so I was moving on.
But I don't understand what she has to think about if she's so sure it's over, why not just accept it and move on. what the fudge is she thinking about and working out?? I had no idea what to do, I was just angry with her for giving up so easily and throwing it all away without trying again, and we ended up having a fight the other night where I said she was acting like a child, and adults work relationships out, they don't just run away and give in when it gets hard, and I may have called her a coward too.
Not clever, I know. I didn't mean it, or not in that way, I somehow mean a watered down version of the sentiment. Anyway, I apologised for that little outburst. We talked and I said, I don't understand what you're thinking about and working out, when clearly, you think we don't work any more and things can't be right again. She said I don't know half the things she's been thinking and feeling recently... which is a fair point, because she hasn't told me. I asked, but she didn't want to tell me.
So, what do I do? My man brain has devised a plan of action. Firstly, I know what I want, which is always good. If she called tomorrow and wanted to get back together, I'd say no. You see, I've loved her for a long time, and to me, what we had was something really special, that I would fight to the death for. I risked and sacrificed a lot for this relationship, and it meant more to me than something you can abandon when it gets hard. Knowing that she doesn't want me, and just wanted to throw it all away, leaves me with a kind of, 'well f*ck you then' feeling. But dammit, I love the girl more than anything, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
So what I want is for us to both really want to make it work, then we can think about how to do that. It's nothing that's going to be fixed overnight, I don't even know how we'd fix it, I just know I want to try, and I want her to want to as well.
So, for the next few days, I'll let this random chatting thing go on, and see what happens. We are actually getting on quite well, so if fun and irresistable me gives her something to think about then yay. But I'm pretty sure nothing will change, so in a few days, I'll ask what all this stuff she's been thinking and feeling is, that I don't know about. If it's not something that gives us a chance, then I'll say: 'you clearly don't want to try again', let's just move on.
I'll end contact there, and get on with life. If after a couple of weeks without me she isn't missing me and wanting to sort something out, I'll know it's definitely over for good, and move on.
That plan seems alright to me??.....
Most of me says, you know what, I can take a hint. This girl doesn't want you any more, it's clearly over. Do yourself a favour and move on.
But there's a little but saying, if it's so over why is she complaining that I was moving on too soon and not trying to persuade her. What the f*ck does she have to think about when she's so sure we can't make it work?
And as long as there's that uncertainty, the little bit of me that would do anything to have her back won't rest.
Dammit, I was relatively fine a week ago... women! what is wrong with you people??
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Yes. Seems a tad complex. But I agree with your point about uncertainty. You can't get over it if there's still hope. Once that's cleared (so you should try and see if there is any real hope) up you will be on your way to getting over her. Not too helpful, sorry.
Your plan sounds fine 
Just one thought: Perhaps the fact that she was upset that you weren't begging her has more to do with her ego than anything else? I don't know her and it's a complicated situation, but I don't know.. if I were her and I wanted to make my relationship work then I'd be a hell of a lot more open instead of saying that I was "confused". That's such a generic term.
From what it sounds like, you've been great; patient and understanding while she's confused.. it sounds like you're keeping a clear head and congrats to you for that, just make sure you keep to your plan. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her then obviously you feel a lot for her, but don't let her mess you around too much. I mean, you're young and have nothing but your feelings at stake. If it was right then you shouldn't have to work THAT hard!
Just one thought: Perhaps the fact that she was upset that you weren't begging her has more to do with her ego than anything else? I don't know her and it's a complicated situation, but I don't know.. if I were her and I wanted to make my relationship work then I'd be a hell of a lot more open instead of saying that I was "confused". That's such a generic term.
From what it sounds like, you've been great; patient and understanding while she's confused.. it sounds like you're keeping a clear head and congrats to you for that, just make sure you keep to your plan. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her then obviously you feel a lot for her, but don't let her mess you around too much. I mean, you're young and have nothing but your feelings at stake. If it was right then you shouldn't have to work THAT hard!
You obviously want this girl and I say go for it. But as cheesy and as weak as it sounds, its time (I think) to kick in the mind games. If you want her back, you might have to start manipulating her a bit. This might sound bad, but if you want her back, it is MUCH more efficient than going the desperate route.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
SciFi25
Thats right, play her like an accordian!! 
What, put all the fingers in all the right places at all the right times?
Yeah I don't think it's ever a good idea to play games.
Thank you all for taking the time to offer your help
I did wonder about that. It would surprise me, because that would be unlike her, but I'm struggling to find another rational explanation.
Oh, I agree completely. I'm just not sure which is the best game to play. The trouble is, she's more intelligent than me, and better than me at that sort of thing.
Given half a chance
F. Poste
Perhaps the fact that she was upset that you weren't begging her has more to do with her ego than anything else?
I did wonder about that. It would surprise me, because that would be unlike her, but I'm struggling to find another rational explanation.
Kondar
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Oh, I agree completely. I'm just not sure which is the best game to play. The trouble is, she's more intelligent than me, and better than me at that sort of thing.
SciFi25
Thats right, play her like an accordian!!
LennonMcCartney
What, put all the fingers in all the right places at all the right times?
Given half a chance
BhArJ
I say dont, if it didn't work before whats going to make it this time?
Surely every relationship goes through hard times, especially long distance ones. There wouldn't be many couples left in the world if people broke up every time they had problems.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
Zurich
Surely every relationship goes through hard times, especially long distance ones. There wouldn't be many couples left in the world if people broke up every time they had problems.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
hmmmmmmmm well its your choice in the end
good luck, your going to need it with her
Kondar
You obviously want this girl and I say go for it. But as cheesy and as weak as it sounds, its time (I think) to kick in the mind games. If you want her back, you might have to start manipulating her a bit. This might sound bad, but if you want her back, it is MUCH more efficient than going the desperate route.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
That's not good advice at all - if she realises you're manipulating her she's gonna realise she can't trust you - that will ruin everything including things in the past cus it'll make her wonder how many other times you were manipulating her and she hadn't realised. Dishonesty is betrayal and if she feels betrayed then she's gonna be hurt - and I don't think he wants to hurt her and risk ruining his chances.
Zurich - I think your plan sounds fine. If what you do there will make you realise it's over for good, then by all means go for it. I mean, when I broke up with my ex I knew I needed to end it properly in person - and we met up and had a last date - and it really did help. It gave me some closure cus I knew it was over now. Set yourself a time-limit though - not "a couple of weeks" cus that could drag on to an infinite number of weeks and after a few months you'll still be here wondering - give her say 3 weeks, then move on.
Yeh I understand that doubt too - I mean, before I found out my ex was finally over me, I couldn't bring myself to move on cus I held onto the possibility of one day getting back together. I'm actually beginning to realise his bluntness to me was next to invaluable cus as harsh as he was, he gave me the truth and it was what I needed, and it was what helped me move on. Heh makes sense that I liked him for his honesty - one of the factors anyway - even though most people would be offended by half the stuff he said to me.
You know, an alternative way to deal with this is - just ask her. Do you wanna get back together? Do you still have feelings for me? Get her response and if it's something like "I don't know" and "I won't tell you" then ask her again a week or so later until you get an answer. Tell her you can't wait for her if she's never gonna come back, so you've gotta know whether she's gonna come back or not cus if she isn't then you've gotta move on. And tbh if she doesn't understand that and see that you're hurting as much as she is, then maybe she doesn't care for you as much as you thought, which would mean yes, it's best you move on, for good.
irisng
That's not good advice at all - if she realises you're manipulating her she's gonna realise she can't trust you - that will ruin everything including things in the past cus it'll make her wonder how many other times you were manipulating her and she hadn't realised. Dishonesty is betrayal and if she feels betrayed then she's gonna be hurt - and I don't think he wants to hurt her and risk ruining his chances.
I didn't mean I would do anything nasty. Just let her have these nice chats, getting on well for a little while (it's been a while since we just got on). If that doesn't rekindle some feeling I'll say we need to move on and hope a few weeks away might make her realise how much she misses me, and that it's worth another try. And if not, then I can move on. I would never hurt or betray her in any way.
Thank you for the restof your advice, it has been duly noted.
Zurich
Surely every relationship goes through hard times, especially long distance ones. There wouldn't be many couples left in the world if people broke up every time they had problems.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
It's true - you just need a straight answer from her. Do whatever you need to to get that answer (things that will not hurt her of course!).
And tbh she sounds unreasonable to me. It was her who wanted to end it why on earth would she want you to be begging her to come back? - maybe she just wants the attention.
Zurich
Surely every relationship goes through hard times, especially long distance ones. There wouldn't be many couples left in the world if people broke up every time they had problems.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
I think we can make it work again, but if she doesn't, I can accept that and move on. It's just the confusion in the middle causing the trouble.
would you marry her? if no, then leave it and move on. I mean think about what you gt out of a relationship.
1) friendship - you seem to argue alot, so we can dock points here
2) sex - see each other every 3rd weekend... we'll dock points here
3) Security - a guy posting about his relationships on a forum is not a great display of security
4) Company - long distance you will feel more lonely than if you had no contact at all...
sounds like a losing one to me
Kondar
You obviously want this girl and I say go for it. But as cheesy and as weak as it sounds, its time (I think) to kick in the mind games. If you want her back, you might have to start manipulating her a bit. This might sound bad, but if you want her back, it is MUCH more efficient than going the desperate route.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
Act like you are ok with it. Say things like, "You know, I am really glad that we are friends" Act like you dont like her anymore, but still flirt with her. Get her confused as to if you really like her or not. If you can get her to wonder, "Does he still like me", then you are golden.
Girls are odd things, if you want them, you have to play games sometimes.
Good luck.
i think thats MORE desperate personally
foolfarian
would you marry her? if no, then leave it and move on. I mean think about what you gt out of a relationship.
1) friendship - you seem to argue alot, so we can dock points here
2) sex - see each other every 3rd weekend... we'll dock points here
3) Security - a guy posting about his relationships on a forum is not a great display of security
4) Company - long distance you will feel more lonely than if you had no contact at all...
sounds like a losing one to me
1) friendship - you seem to argue alot, so we can dock points here
2) sex - see each other every 3rd weekend... we'll dock points here
3) Security - a guy posting about his relationships on a forum is not a great display of security
4) Company - long distance you will feel more lonely than if you had no contact at all...
sounds like a losing one to me
I'd want to marry her, if we worked all this out.
Friendship - we have been arguing a lot, but that's only when the relationship was in real trouble. Who wouldn't argue under those circumstances? Even through all this we can still be the best of friends.
Sex - Every three weeks wasn't ideal, but it certainly wasn't a problem.
Security - Obviously I'm not secure in the relationship now, as we've broken up.
Company - We've never felt lonely through any of it. I lived in America for 6 months and we didn't see each other, but we were fine, and better than ever when I got back.
You seem to be arguing against long distance relationships in general.
Zurich
I'd want to marry her, if we worked all this out.
Friendship - we have been arguing a lot, but that's only when the relationship was in real trouble. Who wouldn't argue under those circumstances? Even through all this we can still be the best of friends.
Sex - Every three weeks wasn't ideal, but it certainly wasn't a problem.
Security - Obviously I'm not secure in the relationship now, as we've broken up.
Company - We've never felt lonely through any of it. I lived in America for 6 months and we didn't see each other, but we were fine, and better than ever when I got back.
You seem to be arguing against long distance relationships in general.
Friendship - we have been arguing a lot, but that's only when the relationship was in real trouble. Who wouldn't argue under those circumstances? Even through all this we can still be the best of friends.
Sex - Every three weeks wasn't ideal, but it certainly wasn't a problem.
Security - Obviously I'm not secure in the relationship now, as we've broken up.
Company - We've never felt lonely through any of it. I lived in America for 6 months and we didn't see each other, but we were fine, and better than ever when I got back.
You seem to be arguing against long distance relationships in general.
I think long distance relationships only work if you have an end in sight. for instance, one person finishes uni before the other, and starts work elsewhere, but knows that the other will finish uni ina year and they can then sort out so they are much closer
mmmm well Mr Zurich i'm kinda in the same situation, just that if i wanted to really break up I'd break up. My bf and I are in a similar situation and yesterday i nearly broke up with him coz of the distance and stuff though i still like him. THank god i didnt but i understand totally how ur ex is feeling. I guess he saved the relationship as he sent me the sweetest and longest email ever. He didnt blame me at all but blamed himself for the forthcoming break up, and that in itself made me change my mind totally. We're back together now and really happy. I love him so much i don't know why i even thought about it but hey! there you go 
I was really confused to what was going to happen and im the sort of person that gives up relations pretty fast...we had a problem and i just went for the easy way out which was just dumping him instead of working it out. If he would have acted fine with it i would have been really hurt and would have responded exactly as ur ex gf as i would heave felt he dsnt like me, which would have made me stop having any feelings towards her. I don't know...if ur desperate she ownt go back with you. THe best thing is not to talk to her at all for like 3 days. No matter how hard it seems you should. THen come back and say: hey baby, i really love you no matter what you say. I love you so much its unhealthy. and hten change the conversation. If she feels pressurised into having a relationnship with you she won't want to go back with you. But if you give her all the choice of either dumping you or not, and as long as she understands how much u love her, don't insist at all. Just act totally normal.
anyways hun, hope that's helped a bit...PM me if you need more advice or details, though what i jst told you now isnt too useful
and be strong!! Dry your eyes mate, there's plenty more fish in the sea! Live for the Moment...life is full of obstacels, and if you give up too easily youll never get anywhere in life! life is full of ups and downs, live for the ups and forget teh downs
I was really confused to what was going to happen and im the sort of person that gives up relations pretty fast...we had a problem and i just went for the easy way out which was just dumping him instead of working it out. If he would have acted fine with it i would have been really hurt and would have responded exactly as ur ex gf as i would heave felt he dsnt like me, which would have made me stop having any feelings towards her. I don't know...if ur desperate she ownt go back with you. THe best thing is not to talk to her at all for like 3 days. No matter how hard it seems you should. THen come back and say: hey baby, i really love you no matter what you say. I love you so much its unhealthy. and hten change the conversation. If she feels pressurised into having a relationnship with you she won't want to go back with you. But if you give her all the choice of either dumping you or not, and as long as she understands how much u love her, don't insist at all. Just act totally normal.
anyways hun, hope that's helped a bit...PM me if you need more advice or details, though what i jst told you now isnt too useful
and be strong!! Dry your eyes mate, there's plenty more fish in the sea! Live for the Moment...life is full of obstacels, and if you give up too easily youll never get anywhere in life! life is full of ups and downs, live for the ups and forget teh downs
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