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When will I find love? watch

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    Hey all,

    I'm an 18 year old male at Uni...
    I've just been noticing how many of my friends are happy with thier Girlfriends...I've ever only had one girlfriend, don't ask me why but it didn't end good, me being dumped by email and i suspect she used me for my money. This was over a year ago now. Since then I have found no one.

    Now before you posters start going on about ways to improve myself etc etc I consider myself an above average guy, i dress very good (I'm a fashion concious guy) and to be fair I'm a little under- confidant when it comes to talking to girls. I have a few nice girl mates however one of the reasons as to why I think I am unable to find a nice girlfriend for myself is becuase I really do think I'm too much of a "nice guy."

    I know for a fact that other guys rely heavily on thier personality to find a girlfriend..but with me, im just lost. I don't know any ways of improving myself, i attract some girls, but not the ones i'd like to settle for a long term relationship with. I think my main problem is actually getting them interested in me...giving them a good laugh and keeping them interested, to be fair its just not me generally and i don't know what to say. Also the fact that I am a very sensible boy...

    I'm just looking for a long term relationship to be honest and with the type of girls I'm attracting I can't see that happening, I feel like I'm missing out on the experiance to love and care for another...I know the future may hold something but i want someone NOW
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey all
    /cut
    Hello! =D

    I attracted only guys I didn't want for years.
    My friend often remarked how every guy I know fancied me at one time or another - imagine how horrible that was for me.

    I never looked, in fact, I didn't think I'd meet anyone I'd like or who'd like me back or be perfect for what I wanted. But then, I found him, aged 16, I'm nearly 19 still with him and he's been my only boyfriend to date.

    What I'm saying is, you'll find love. I don't know when, but you will. =) Regardless of how many people you meet you aren't interested in or aren't interested in you. It'll come, let it flow and don't worry about it so much. It's not that important, I know you want it now but you're just going to have to be patient if you are looking for a particular someone. ^^
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey all,
    Gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince(ss).

    Just keep attracting girls until you find one you would be happy to settle down with. You're only 18 afterall.
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    When you have stopped looking ans least expect it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When Will I Find TRUE Love?
    When the time comes, young padawan.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    When you have stopped looking ans least expect it.
    lol I was gonna say that. But really, when you go out and actively pursue it, else it won't happen.
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    It won't come when you've stopped looking - that's a dumb thing to say. People don't just meet and fall in mad love in the middle of the street. Life isn't a film. If you're not proactive then you'll just remain alone probably forever. Take me as a cautionary example.
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    (Original post by Cocaine Socialist)
    It won't come when you've stopped looking - that's a dumb thing to say. People don't just meet and fall in mad love in the middle of the street. Life isn't a film. If you're not proactive then you'll just remain alone probably forever. Take me as a cautionary example.
    No, but when you're actively looking for "love" you over analyse everything and it becomes almost scientific. Love comes when you least expect it, it catches you unawares and before you know it, *BANG*, you're there.
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    Hey, just read your post. I see you're receiving all of the typical responses. To be honest, it's a little surreal to read a post like that written by a guy!
    I know how you feel though. I'm 20, have had two long term relationships that have both ended badly. I've often been told i'm too 'nice' for my own good, but that'll never change! I am who I am!

    Fair enough i'm still young, and am just starting my career, but in the long run, all I want is to settle down with someone that I can trust, and will treat me right. So at the moment i'm just focusing on my career and hoping that before long, the rest of the plan will fall into place...i'm not really a cat person you see! lol
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    (Original post by KimG88)
    Fair enough i'm still young, and am just starting my career, but in the long run, all I want is to settle down with someone that I can trust, and will treat me right. So at the moment i'm just focusing on my career and hoping that before long, the rest of the plan will fall into place...i'm not really a cat person you see! lol
    I think, Kim, that you and I are actually the same people.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    No, but when you're actively looking for "love" you over analyse everything and it becomes almost scientific. Love comes when you least expect it, it catches you unawares and before you know it, *BANG*, you're there.
    people overanalyse anyway. its unavoidable unless youre completely tripping balls or something all the time and can focus on nothing but the sensual. noone can ever really know another person so relationships are just a guessing game.
    if you actively put yourself out there you at least have a chance of playing.
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    Love comes when you least expect it.......its true. Dont beat yourself up about not having a girlfriend OP. Afterall you are still young and have plenty of time, but it will happen I can assure you.
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    Hey,
    For ages i was like you and really wanted a boyfriend, but the only guys who were interested in me i didn't like in that way, and i was to shy to pursue the people i liked. I finally found one guy last summer and we went out for a while, but it kinda fizzled out to nothing.
    I ended up just messing about gave up looking for a boyfriend when i came to uni, deciding i would concentrate on my studies.
    Then, a week into uni, i met my boyfriend. He was playing darts with my flatmate and we just started chatting, then we met again at a party and we realised we both liked each other. He took me on a date and we have been together 4 months now.
    I guess the moral to my story was that when i was looking for a boyfriend, i may have found one, but i wasn't happy with him. It was only when i stopped looking at all guys as potential boyfriend material that i found someone i really loved. Hope this has helped!
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    When you stop looking for it
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    (Original post by tayalouise)
    When you stop looking for it
    This.
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    (Original post by Cocaine Socialist)
    It won't come when you've stopped looking - that's a dumb thing to say. People don't just meet and fall in mad love in the middle of the street. Life isn't a film. If you're not proactive then you'll just remain alone probably forever. Take me as a cautionary example.
    Actually, I did.* :cool:

    And it was a lot like a film, yeah.

    And three days later he proposed.....and a year after that we got married.

    It does happen.

    *it went kind of like this: I was walking down the street in a strange city (vacationing) and had a really strong feeling that something was going to happen. I walked by a coffee shop, saw a guy in the window who was just "normal" looking, but it hit me, and this resounding thought of, "this man is going to change my life" went through my mind. I went in, he was writing an essay about christianity and existentialism, asked me if I was trying to make myself seem attractive....and I said no. We talked for three more hours, and then we went for a drink, and then back to his place....and had sex for five days straight.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    I think, Kim, that you and I are actually the same people.
    lol, that might be true!
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    (Original post by Cocaine Socialist)
    It won't come when you've stopped looking - that's a dumb thing to say. People don't just meet and fall in mad love in the middle of the street.
    ...no i just met my current boyfriend of 2 & 1/2 years in a beer garden completely random and really wasnt looking for anyone and was very happy being single but havent looked back since...

    so not looking worked for me!
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    Never.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Now before you posters start going on about ways to improve myself etc etc I consider myself an above average guy, i dress very good (I'm a fashion concious guy) and to be fair I'm a little under- confidant when it comes to talking to girls. I have a few nice girl mates however one of the reasons as to why I think I am unable to find a nice girlfriend for myself is becuase I really do think I'm too much of a "nice guy."
    forget how good you think you are and learn to talk to girls and you might get a bit further
 
 
 
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