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    #1

    Please keep anon, or delete please

    I'll try to keep as little TL;DR as possible.

    My confidence has always been really low. My mum died of heart problems when I was seven and my dad committed suicide a couple of years later. To top it off I was an only child. After years of isolation as a child I eventually tried to kill myself at 15. I'm quite better now, at the age of 20.

    My low confidence up until this point has paralysed my social skills, and as a result I have absolutely no friends in my second year of uni, and I'm still a virgin, I've never had a girlfriend, and never even kissed one. I feel like I'm missing out.

    But then I started working out, and I'm a decent size. I'm not ugly or anything, though my size (5'6) is bit of a downer. I'm also a bit of a shut in so I rarely meet women. I don't go clubbing or to bars (although I'd love to, I just have no one to go with).

    As a result, I sometimes get attention off women, but I have no idea how to react. The only places this happens is the rare occasion where I leave me room to go to a lecture. Women make eye contact with me, but I just don't know how to follow up. Sometime I pluck up the courage to make eye contact back and even smile a bit...but then what do I do? By the time I've noticed they're looking in my direction, they walk away and I'll probably never see them again.

    What am I supposed to do in these situations?
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    Don't make a big deal of it if you'd get rejected. They've got probably something else on their mind, like a boyfriend, or their cat is missing and don't want any strangers to approach them, just don't take it personally. Everyone who's good with women is good with getting rejected.
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    #1

    I'm asking how to approach them in the first place. Do I turn around and chase after them? That seems kinda desperate.
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    Just go up and talk to them honestly, i guess this is hard due to having low confidence, but honestly i can assure you, they wont mind you talking to them, start socialising with people on your course and build your confidence up abit. University is a social place, talk to people You never know when you start talking to people more, you may get a chance to go out abit, and meet some people, its not easy but trying to build on your confidence i think is the main thing
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm asking how to approach them in the first place. Do I turn around and chase after them? That seems kinda desperate.
    Approach them with a gangster walk and thrusting motion.
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    Okay before you focus on getting girls you need to focus on improving your social life in general... women should be an extention of this (imo). Try being more social... join clubs and/or get a new job and just talk to people. The key is just being confident enough to start conversation, even if it starts off bland it can develop. Once you have more friends you can go out, and each person you meet you should treat as a means of networking i.e. you'll meet more people from them. Also, if you have friends then your chances with women are greatly increased because you dont look like a loner. Hope all goes well for you in the future!

    It's all about forgetting your doubts and taking the plunge now and again and just walking up and talking to people. It doesn't have to be about anything amazing. If a girl gives you a good look, just find an opportunity to go talk to her (but not in a desperate/creepy way).
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've given up on trying to find friends. I prefer my own company anyway.

    But what am I supposed to say in this environment? I don't want to talk about inane stuff, like what they're wearing or uni related stuff.
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    Run at them with your penis out singing "dooo da diddee dum did dee dee"
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    From Behind.. its harder for them to struggle.
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    #2

    I'd also like some help with this as well. I suck with women. I have great friends, but I really cannot get a girlfriend. When I was younger, around aged 12 and 13 and I was in Secondary school, I used to be ok with it. But it's mattering more and more to me now as I've gone two years without any kind of relationship. My circumstances are not as bad family -wise as the OP's but I would love some advice.

    One thing that I may get round to buying is David DeAngelo's, 'Double Your Dating' book. Seems really good.
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    (Original post by Terryw)
    Run at them with your penis out singing "dooo da diddee dum did dee dee"
    You mean " dooo da didee didee dum di dee doo"
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm also a bit of a shut in so I rarely meet women. I don't go clubbing or to bars

    The only places this happens is the rare occasion where I leave me room to go to a lecture.
    You have to meet before you approach surely? Get some guy friends and get social. Uni is the time, when else will you be surrounded by your peer group 24/7?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm asking how to approach them in the first place. Do I turn around and chase after them? That seems kinda desperate.
    Err what do you mean? Just say hi?
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    You need to work on your self confidence. If you want to meet new people you have to do something new. Try a new hobby or something?
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    Socialise with more people man. A more branched out network of friends and things will inevitably mean better social skills and a higher chance of meeting girls anyway.

    You need to become a more interesting person to interact with before you even approach a woman!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've given up on trying to find friends. I prefer my own company anyway.

    But what am I supposed to say in this environment? I don't want to talk about inane stuff, like what they're wearing or uni related stuff.
    Don't give up on friends. We're social animals. Relationships are healthy. Once you're in a more social setting it will improve your confidence immensely, trust me. Seriously, it will help you out with women 100x more.

    Anyway "Hi, my name is.." is a start. It depends on the circumstances. If you're in a class, ask her about it. Anything that gets the ball rolling! Then it's all on you! If you think shes interested, just try flirting and teasing.
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    (Original post by Nidhogg_Rider)
    Socialise with more people man. A more branched out network of friends and things will inevitably mean better social skills and a higher chance of meeting girls anyway.

    You need to become a more interesting person to interact with before you even approach a woman!
    This guy has the right idea.
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    All you need is a Transit Van and the necessary linguistic skills to say "Get in back of the van, NOW!".

    Putting on a foreign accent is fun too.
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    low confidence ... have absolutely no friends ... still a virgin ...never had a girlfriend ... never even kissed one... I don't go clubbing or to bars
    you arent alone. Im in exactly the same boat. Its **** isnt it. I just dont know what to do.
 
 
 
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