Friend with anorexia... Watch

Shorty1992
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#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
I have a very close friend who's suffering from anorexia... with a BMI of 15. I'm so worried about her, and just which I could help her more.

She gets weighed weekly and has many hospital/doctors appointments each week. They said earlier in the week that she's not allowed to walk very far or do any physical activity or anything because of the risk of collapsing, and that they wanted her to have an ECG.

The ECG came back fine, so they're not admitting her to hospital just yet... but I kind of feel that maybe she should be admitted. She's not getting anywhere with her weight really... she'd put on weight for 2 weeks running, then lost it all last week.

I'm just so worried! Would be very much appreciated if anybody could tell me about what helped them most to recover from their eating disorder. Is being admitted to hospital the only way she'll recover? Anything that I should make sure I say to her? Or avoid saying? - I obviously don't say 'you look fine' or anything, I'm honest with her... I just want to help her so badly, she's such a lovely person!
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Tinket
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Report 9 years ago
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No, being admitted to hospital isn't the best way to recover. I don't know about others but definitely for me, I feel more able to work past my eating issues when I'm happy in life and have people supporting me. People getting at you just makes it worse. Be there for her and encourage her. However, as her bmi is so low hospital will benefit her health wise.
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tomster
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Report 9 years ago
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Hmm, how fast has her BMI descended? If we're talking a drop of one every four/five weeks, then I think medical intervention is possible - A BMI of under 14 is putting her at a seriously high risk of organ failure and/or possible brain damage. Excercise is a no go either.

It is very hard watching a friend develop an eating disorder and I sympathise with you. From my own experience, I found talking a very therapeutic experience because it lets you talk over your experiences and lets the person you know have genuine sincerity over their concerns. It also is a good reliever of stress - One of many consequences of anorexia (hence why people are placed on anti-depressants!)

Try to avoid food-related topics though; anorexia feeds off talking about all things food, nutrition and weigght. Talking about it only reiterates her thought processes and will only make things worse. Try talking about a mutual interest or a current affair. Basically something that will keep her mind of the thought of food!

Hope this helps

Tom
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Vampyrcorn
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OP, this probably isn't what you want to hear and it won't help because you'll have to come to truely believe it yourself but: You can't do anything about it. For someone suffering with something like anorexia to overcome it they really have to make that choice themself. I know it's probably killing you and her parents, watching her destroy herself like this, but she has to fix herself - nobody can do it for her. Obviously I don't mean it's ok to call her fat and the advice above about not talking about food all the time is good, but don't beat yourself up if she doesn't seem to be getting any better.

:hugs: because I know it's painful for you. I don't think anorexics ever truly get what they put everyone else through because they're so caught up in their obsession. I feel for you. You sound like a great friend for her to have around - stay strong and don't let her influence you or make you feel insecure about your own weight.
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suicidal_dream
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Being someone who HAD anorexia and knows what its like, albeit mild compared to your friend, people can try and convince her what she's doing to her body is wrong, but until she realises herself, there is nothing you can do!

I had so many people say to me about losing weight and clothes hanging off of me, but i wasnt listening, cos they were wrong - i looked fine, i was impressed with how my hip bones looked...

But eventually somehow i realised... i was in a bad relationship at the time and a lot of it was my feeling inadequate blah blah blah but eventually i got out of it and it stopped... i realised i wasnt at fault...

does your friend have any underlying issues that could have triggered it.. something along the lines of mine?!
If so, is there any way you can talk to her about it, see if it starts making sense to her?

I've known of a few people who went into rehab/hospitalised, and often, they go in there, put on weight, get released and as soon as they get home, they lose weight again cos the real issue hasnt been addressed...
see if there is something underlying that you can possibly help her with... otherwise just let her know you are there for her and IF she ends up in hospital, support her =]
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Shorty1992
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#6
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
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Thankyou so much everyone

Vampyrcorn; thanks for saying that - I know she's got to get better by herself, it's just so hard to see someone basically on self-destruct mode in terms of damaging her health so much. I do need to be reminded every now and then that it's down to her, and I'm doing all I can do with being supportive.

Suicidal_dream; she does have a significant underlying problems that triggered her anorexia. I reassure her about the problem whenever she brings up eating problems - which she does a lot, and she thankfully trusts me. I'd imagine the psychologist she sees also talks to her about this problem. Sorry to hear that you have suffered from anorexia in the past, you must be so proud to have come out of the other side.

Thanks again to the others tooo
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report 9 years ago
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i wasn't admitted to hospital, and i recovered
i too went to weekly doctors appointments and for me it worked, it may too for your friend but it will take time
just be there for her when she needs you
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