Friend with anorexia... Watch
She gets weighed weekly and has many hospital/doctors appointments each week. They said earlier in the week that she's not allowed to walk very far or do any physical activity or anything because of the risk of collapsing, and that they wanted her to have an ECG.
The ECG came back fine, so they're not admitting her to hospital just yet... but I kind of feel that maybe she should be admitted. She's not getting anywhere with her weight really... she'd put on weight for 2 weeks running, then lost it all last week.
I'm just so worried! Would be very much appreciated if anybody could tell me about what helped them most to recover from their eating disorder. Is being admitted to hospital the only way she'll recover? Anything that I should make sure I say to her? Or avoid saying? - I obviously don't say 'you look fine' or anything, I'm honest with her... I just want to help her so badly, she's such a lovely person!
It is very hard watching a friend develop an eating disorder and I sympathise with you. From my own experience, I found talking a very therapeutic experience because it lets you talk over your experiences and lets the person you know have genuine sincerity over their concerns. It also is a good reliever of stress - One of many consequences of anorexia (hence why people are placed on anti-depressants!)
Try to avoid food-related topics though; anorexia feeds off talking about all things food, nutrition and weigght. Talking about it only reiterates her thought processes and will only make things worse. Try talking about a mutual interest or a current affair. Basically something that will keep her mind of the thought of food!
Hope this helps
because I know it's painful for you. I don't think anorexics ever truly get what they put everyone else through because they're so caught up in their obsession. I feel for you. You sound like a great friend for her to have around - stay strong and don't let her influence you or make you feel insecure about your own weight.
I had so many people say to me about losing weight and clothes hanging off of me, but i wasnt listening, cos they were wrong - i looked fine, i was impressed with how my hip bones looked...
But eventually somehow i realised... i was in a bad relationship at the time and a lot of it was my feeling inadequate blah blah blah but eventually i got out of it and it stopped... i realised i wasnt at fault...
does your friend have any underlying issues that could have triggered it.. something along the lines of mine?!
If so, is there any way you can talk to her about it, see if it starts making sense to her?
I've known of a few people who went into rehab/hospitalised, and often, they go in there, put on weight, get released and as soon as they get home, they lose weight again cos the real issue hasnt been addressed...
see if there is something underlying that you can possibly help her with... otherwise just let her know you are there for her and IF she ends up in hospital, support her =]
Vampyrcorn; thanks for saying that - I know she's got to get better by herself, it's just so hard to see someone basically on self-destruct mode in terms of damaging her health so much. I do need to be reminded every now and then that it's down to her, and I'm doing all I can do with being supportive.
Suicidal_dream; she does have a significant underlying problems that triggered her anorexia. I reassure her about the problem whenever she brings up eating problems - which she does a lot, and she thankfully trusts me. I'd imagine the psychologist she sees also talks to her about this problem. Sorry to hear that you have suffered from anorexia in the past, you must be so proud to have come out of the other side.
Thanks again to the others tooo
i too went to weekly doctors appointments and for me it worked, it may too for your friend but it will take time
just be there for her when she needs you