Is oral sex a big deal?

I'll let basicallt anything wrap tehir nouth around me phallus, provided their female of course!
Standards are slightly higher when it comes to shagging though!

Only humans or are you one of these open-minded folk?

you obviously have no idea what its like to be raped either

its hardly as trivial as issues, yes i think its sad when a lady cant excercise her right to say no but when you say no and it still happens thats notsomething to be made into a joke and "kicking him in the nuts" isnt an option

Because some people (not mentioning any names SamTheMan), don't have a clue what they are going on about...

true some girls are too scared to react forcifully when they are being pushed into sex, but what i was saying is that if a guy is pressuring a girl' as helenia was suggesting, then a quick kick and leave maneuvre should set him straight. If he doesn't let you leave, then that would be either a) attempted rape or b) actual rape.
My point was that its the crappest reason in the world to sleep with soemone because they were a bit persistent.

See it pisses me off when girls say this kind of thing. More specifically when the girl you are seeing admits she did it 'cos i was pressured into it' So thats like what, semi-rape?
I don't wanna screw you is all that is needed. if someone won't take no for an answer, then that would be rape. kick them and leave.
I don't think you have any idea how hearing the above makes most guys feel. Especially if it relates to a current or an ex g/f.

My point was that its the crappest reason in the world to sleep with soemone because they were a bit persistent.

No guy wants to go out with a girl who just gives in through pressure. It basically means that she'd do that with any guy as long as he insists enough. Of course, if he wants a quick easy lay, why not...

And that's why I'm never going to see him again because I don't want to be seen like that.

Sorry if I offended either of you, but thought that I should give my side of the story.

I would never for a minute insinuate that it was rape or anything close. That would be a total lie, because it wouldn't have been - physical force is an entirely different thing to verbal/emotional pressure. The thing was, I was REALLY drunk, therefore not entirely in control of the situation (hmmm, clever one Helen). Plus it was my room, so kicking and leaving is not an option for me. I never intended to see him again so it would not affect a relationship at all.

And TRUST me, I said I didn't want to enough times. When I realised that no matter what else happened he wasn't going to give up, I quit it and made him leave, but that wasn't exactly easy either. I know, it's not the cleverest thing I could have done, and it's not like I'm proud of it, in any way, but there it is.



Absolutely. Which is why I didn't.


And that's why I'm never going to see him again because I don't want to be seen like that.

Sorry if I offended either of you, but thought that I should give my side of the story.

Well I appreciate your honesty. I'm even surprised that you would admit to being in such a situation. When I was still with one of my exes, I had to go back to Europe for the summer and didn't tell her I might be coming back. When I told her two months later that I was coming back, she was totally upset as she had been in the same situation that you described. As she was totally honest about the whole thing, I tried to forgive her but the whole thing just made me lose all respect and feelings for her. Even if we lost what we had, I think she finally realised how she can't just give in because it's the easy option.

So to some up the story
'I'm not leaving till i get sex/blowjob'
'please'
'no'
'please'
'no'
'o well, will have to do it then.'
even when really hammered if theres something i don't wanna do, im not gonna do it.
Now of course i have...issues around this topic as is obvious to see, but still, it should become clear to most that bowing to emotional or peer pressure is in no way helpful or ideal.

My god, I didn't realise that it would provoke this much outrage! It was a mistake that happened, I'm not proud of it but it's done and there's no point denying it. Perhaps I was unwise to use it as an example - where all my initial point was that I felt there was a difference between full sex and oral. Ah well, if I've destroyed my credibility with you, that's that, but I'd hope that one incident wouldn't cloud your impression of someone forever.

Foolfarian, yeah, I know, I agree with everything you say. But I'm a weak person sometimes, it's not a good thing, but there it is. I know better now, but at the time I couldn't think of anything else.

My god, I didn't realise that it would provoke this much outrage! It was a mistake that happened, I'm not proud of it but it's done and there's no point denying it. Perhaps I was unwise to use it as an example - where all my initial point was that I felt there was a difference between full sex and oral. Ah well, if I've destroyed my credibility with you, that's that, but I'd hope that one incident wouldn't cloud your impression of someone forever.

Foolfarian, yeah, I know, I agree with everything you say. But I'm a weak person sometimes, it's not a good thing, but there it is. I know better now, but at the time I couldn't think of anything else.

my good god. Is this what girls read in cosmo? This is nearly word for word what my ex said...

Would you ever think about giving head to someone youve just met or someone you're not going out with or youve only been dating a day or two?

I think oral is not important but some of my mates think that it should only be with someone youve been dating long time.

It's all a question of context - these things sometimes happen in a one-night stand and on one very nasty occasion I was basically pressured into it, as a get-out so I didn't have to have full sex with the guy. Personally I don't see it as that much of an intimate act, though obviously it is fairly high up on the list, I wouldn't classify it with sex.