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covered farm wagon is not a happy wagon

My dad rang me last week to say that my nanna has emphysema, if that's how you spell it. My mum rang just now to say she's not going to get better, and probably wont live longer than a few days, because she keeps having heart failure.
I haven't seen my nanna very often for the last ten years or so, because my family live all over the place, and love arguing with each other and divorcing each other so I don't know many of my relatives on that side. But I am still very sad. And I feel horribly guilty for not making more effort to stay in better contact with her. I know it's not all my fault, because loads of my family don't keep in touch with each other regularly, but you never really think people will die before you get round to sending them letters and things. I just don't really know what to do.
Families are complicated and silly.
:'(

ps I know there's no real need for me to post this, because it's not a question or anything, but I'm sad, and don't really feel like talking to anyone face to face

Reply 1

LennonMcCartney

aww. i don't know what to say but that i do feel for you. and sorry that you found yourself in that situation.

Reply 2

TKR

15

i thought this thread was all about a weird analogy relating to someone not liking using condoms while having sex...

Reply 3

F. Poste

I'm really sorry to hear that :frown:

Reply 4

Zurich

9

covered farm wagon

My dad rang me last week to say that my nanna has emphysema, if that's how you spell it. My mum rang just now to say she's not going to get better, and probably wont live longer than a few days, because she keeps having heart failure.
I haven't seen my nanna very often for the last ten years or so, because my family live all over the place, and love arguing with each other and divorcing each other so I don't know many of my relatives on that side. But I am still very sad. And I feel horribly guilty for not making more effort to stay in better contact with her. I know it's not all my fault, because loads of my family don't keep in touch with each other regularly, but you never really think people will die before you get round to sending them letters and things. I just don't really know what to do.

I'm sorry to hear yuo're going through that :frown:

It's awful and unfortunately there's nothing anyone can say or do to make it better.

I think it's quite normal to feel that kind of guilt. I know you don't only get it when you've been completely out of touch with someone. My grandad died a few years ago, and even though I saw him every few weeks, I still felt guilty for not spending enough time with him, or really getting to know him. I know that doesn't help you, but you're not alone in feeling that way, and you certainly haven't done anything wrong.

It's difficult to offer any advice about what you should do, because I don't know you or your family. I'm guessing it's not possible to see her, because of the family situation? It might help to talk to family members that knew her, about her life and such, to find out all the things you didn't know, even if it is too late. But then that might not help at all. Sorry I can't be more use.

Reply 5

what_apples

11

lessthanthree

I know exactly [like to the nth degree] how you feel.

Is there any chance you could go see her before she passes?

I agree... you should go and see her if you can. I always regretted not going to India before my grandmother passed away, even though I could have and I knew she was quite ill. :frown:

Reply 6

covered farm wagon

OP

11

lessthanthree

I know exactly [like to the nth degree] how you feel.

Is there any chance you could go see her before she passes?

It's a rubbish feeling, isn't it?
I really don't know if I'm going to be able to go and see her. She lives quite a way away, and I'm moving back home tomorrow and by then it might be too late. I know that they sound like rubbish reasons, but in a way I suppose I'll feel like I'm intruding if I go now because we haven't been close for a while. I know that sounds silly... I'll ring my dad tomorrow to see how he is, and how she is, and think about it then I suppose.

Thanks for listening to me!

Reply 7

covered farm wagon

OP

11

what_apples

I agree... you should go and see her if you can. I always regretted not going to India before my grandmother passed away, even though I could have and I knew she was quite ill. :frown:

that's sad. I'll see if I can arrange to go, but I don't know if I'll be able to.

covered farm wagon is not a happy wagon

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