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my sister is being bullied
we were walking to school/6th form this morning and i asked her what was wrong and she just broke down and told me she was being bullied. its been going on for a while now and last night she had ten bells of **** kicked out of her, she has a big lump on her head so i marched her straight to the assistant headteacher (as shes in charge of all this sort of stuff).
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
Scroll to see replies
*hugs* (for you and your sister).
I'm really sorry for you. The good thing is that she has told you and it's out in the open now because many children who suffer from bullying keep it to themselves until it really pushes them over the edge. She has told you and you have reported it and hopefully something will be done about it.
There isn't much you can do now that you have told the school except to be there for her if she wants to talk and let her know that you are there for her.
Have you told your parents about it? As once they know I'm sure they will ease off her a bit.
How old is your sister?
I can't really say anything else as I don't know all that much about it to be honest, but I hope everything works out ok and the bullies get sorted.
Let me know what happens.
I'm really sorry for you. The good thing is that she has told you and it's out in the open now because many children who suffer from bullying keep it to themselves until it really pushes them over the edge. She has told you and you have reported it and hopefully something will be done about it.
There isn't much you can do now that you have told the school except to be there for her if she wants to talk and let her know that you are there for her.
Have you told your parents about it? As once they know I'm sure they will ease off her a bit.
How old is your sister?
I can't really say anything else as I don't know all that much about it to be honest, but I hope everything works out ok and the bullies get sorted.
Let me know what happens.
~*glitter*~
we were walking to school this morning and i asked her what was wrong and she just broke down and told me she was being bullied. its been going on for a while now and last night she had ten bells of **** kicked out of her, she has a big lump on her head so i marched her straight to the assistant headteacher (as shes in charge of all this sort of stuff).
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
I was bullied terribly at school, and the only thing that kept me sane was having a nice stable family life to come home to. The only time I felt like it was all getting too much to bear was when I wasn't getting on with my parents or my brother.
I'm not sure there is anything much that you can do about the bullying, apart from getting the culprits expelled. Knowing kids, this is likely to make things worse for your sister if the bullies' friends are still around, so it depends on the situation.
All I can suggest is to make sure you're there for her. Make her talk about it, and offer her a shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it. Whatever you do, don't even suggest that it might be partly her fault - she's had people telling her there's something wrong with her for a long time now, and the way you deal with this problem will affect her self-confidence for the rest of her life. Be sympathetic - whatever the situation, there is no excuse for the way these people are treating her. If she tells you why she thinks they're bullying her, make sure you NEVER EVER do the same thing. For instance, if they're calling her ugly, do not under any circumstances call her ugly - even if you're having the most heated row. It's one thing when schoolkids do it to you, but when your family starts, you start to believe it's true and despair that you'll never get away from the bullying. I still remember when my brother did it to me - I must have cried for hours.
Once she's comfortable with talking to you about it, suggest telling your parents. She might prefer it if you explained the situation to them, but don't tell them without making sure it's okay with your sister first. Tell her that you won't let them make a fuss about it if she doesn't want you to, but it's better that they know - it will explain her behaviour and put their minds at rest about drugs and other problems. Above all, make it clear to your parents that your sister should be able to manage the situation herself - they can't just march in and take over unless she asks for help.
ummm it depends what the head teacher's next move is. Hpefully something quite radical which will prevent it frm going any furter then it has!
so whats the head teachers solution is? Do mention in the converation of the physical torture.....
have u told ur parents? it will make life much easier as they can take a much drastic step and end this for ever!
so whats the head teachers solution is? Do mention in the converation of the physical torture.....
have u told ur parents? it will make life much easier as they can take a much drastic step and end this for ever!
i havent told my parents about it has ive only just found out myself, they also arent very rational in situations like this, they make alot of things worse and in the end it can sometimes be a pointless effort. i want to keep it between my sister, the school and myself, if that combination cant sort it then i will inform my parents. though im torn between being reponsible and telling my parents but betraying my sisters trust, or keeping it between us and hoping it can be sorted out that way (but probably end up with a b*llocking from my parents for not telling them).
my sister is 13
my sister is 13
sannamanir
will your school not inform your parents immmediately? part of the procedure isn't it
so do u knw wat there doing about this?
has she gone to school today... ??
so do u knw wat there doing about this?
has she gone to school today... ??
yes she has gone to school but is spending the lesson she would of had with these bullies with another teacher.
~*glitter*~
i havent told my parents about it has ive only just found out myself, they also arent very rational in situations like this, they make alot of things worse and in the end it can sometimes be a pointless effort. i want to keep it between my sister, the school and myself, if that combination cant sort it then i will inform my parents. though im torn between being reponsible and telling my parents but betraying my sisters trust, or keeping it between us and hoping it can be sorted out that way (but probably end up with a b*llocking from my parents for not telling them).
my sister is 13
my sister is 13
Then don't tell your parents the full story, just tell them they should give her a break or try to make things easier for her. If she trusted you enough to tell you in the first place, maybe things will be better for her now she has confided in someone and someone else knows what she's going through. Talking to her may help, or letting her do more stuff with you and your friends even if it's just for a while until she gets more self esteem (not sure of the age gap). x
lil_crazyflakes
Then don't tell your parents the full story, just tell them they should give her a break or try to make things easier for her. If she trusted you enough to tell you in the first place, maybe things will be better for her now she has confided in someone and someone else knows what she's going through. Talking to her may help, or letting her do more stuff with you and your friends even if it's just for a while until she gets more self esteem (not sure of the age gap). x
I think it might be best to mention something to your parents just so that they ease off her a bit cos the last thing she needs is parents constantly getting on at her when she has all this going on in her life.
However, you need to talk to her first, just say to her you think you should tell your parents for her own benefit so that they don't bother her as much. You will have to talk it through with your sister first though so that you don't break her trust.
However, you need to talk to her first, just say to her you think you should tell your parents for her own benefit so that they don't bother her as much. You will have to talk it through with your sister first though so that you don't break her trust.
i just found this on a website:
Depression in Children
Only in the past two decades has depression in children been taken very seriously. The depressed child may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that the parent may die. Older children may sulk, get into trouble at school, be negative, grouchy, and feel misunderstood. Because normal behaviors vary from one childhood stage to another, it can be difficult to tell whether a child is just going through a temporary "phase" or is suffering from depression. Sometimes the parents become worried about how the child's behavior has changed, or a teacher mentions that "your child doesn't seem to be himself." In such a case, if a visit to the child's pediatrician rules out physical symptoms, the doctor will probably suggest that the child be evaluated, preferably by a psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of children. If treatment is needed, the doctor may suggest that another therapist, usually a social worker or a psychologist, provide therapy while the psychiatrist will oversee medication if it is needed. Parents should not be afraid to ask questions: What are the therapist's qualifications? What kind of therapy will the child have? Will the family as a whole participate in therapy? Will my child's therapy include an antidepressant? If so, what might the side effects be?
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) has identified the use of medications for depression in children as an important area for research. The NIMH-supported Research Units on Pediatric Psychopharmacology (RUPPs) form a network of seven research sites where clinical studies on the effects of medications for mental disorders can be conducted in children and adolescents. Among the medications being studied are antidepressants, some of which have been found to be effective in treating children with depression, if properly monitored by the child's physician.
Depression in Children
Only in the past two decades has depression in children been taken very seriously. The depressed child may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that the parent may die. Older children may sulk, get into trouble at school, be negative, grouchy, and feel misunderstood. Because normal behaviors vary from one childhood stage to another, it can be difficult to tell whether a child is just going through a temporary "phase" or is suffering from depression. Sometimes the parents become worried about how the child's behavior has changed, or a teacher mentions that "your child doesn't seem to be himself." In such a case, if a visit to the child's pediatrician rules out physical symptoms, the doctor will probably suggest that the child be evaluated, preferably by a psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of children. If treatment is needed, the doctor may suggest that another therapist, usually a social worker or a psychologist, provide therapy while the psychiatrist will oversee medication if it is needed. Parents should not be afraid to ask questions: What are the therapist's qualifications? What kind of therapy will the child have? Will the family as a whole participate in therapy? Will my child's therapy include an antidepressant? If so, what might the side effects be?
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) has identified the use of medications for depression in children as an important area for research. The NIMH-supported Research Units on Pediatric Psychopharmacology (RUPPs) form a network of seven research sites where clinical studies on the effects of medications for mental disorders can be conducted in children and adolescents. Among the medications being studied are antidepressants, some of which have been found to be effective in treating children with depression, if properly monitored by the child's physician.
I don't think you need to consider depression too much - sticking her on anti-depressants won't make the cause of the problem go away, and since you know the cause, you should concentrate on this first. If you manage to sort the problem out, she will slowly get back to being her normal self. Bear in mind, though, that bullying can have long-term side effects like low self-esteem, and you should watch out for signs of depression once the bullies are out of the picture.
The best way for the school to deal with it, in my opinion, would be to tell the bullies' parents. This won't work on all of the kids - some of them won't care what their parents think - but it should work on a couple of them, and fracture the group. Hopefully, the bullying will die out then. If not, I don't think you've got much choice but to get your parents involved.
Don't forget about yourself in this situation - dealing with a bullied child and trying to sort it all out yourself will have a big effect on you, and will probably be very stressful. Make sure you've got a friend who will listen to you and won't interfere.
The best way for the school to deal with it, in my opinion, would be to tell the bullies' parents. This won't work on all of the kids - some of them won't care what their parents think - but it should work on a couple of them, and fracture the group. Hopefully, the bullying will die out then. If not, I don't think you've got much choice but to get your parents involved.
Don't forget about yourself in this situation - dealing with a bullied child and trying to sort it all out yourself will have a big effect on you, and will probably be very stressful. Make sure you've got a friend who will listen to you and won't interfere.
Trousers
I don't think you need to consider depression too much - sticking her on anti-depressants won't make the cause of the problem go away, and since you know the cause, you should concentrate on this first. If you manage to sort the problem out, she will slowly get back to being her normal self. Bear in mind, though, that bullying can have long-term side effects like low self-esteem, and you should watch out for signs of depression once the bullies are out of the picture.
The best way for the school to deal with it, in my opinion, would be to tell the bullies' parents. This won't work on all of the kids - some of them won't care what their parents think - but it should work on a couple of them, and fracture the group. Hopefully, the bullying will die out then. If not, I don't think you've got much choice but to get your parents involved.
Don't forget about yourself in this situation - dealing with a bullied child and trying to sort it all out yourself will have a big effect on you, and will probably be very stressful. Make sure you've got a friend who will listen to you and won't interfere.
The best way for the school to deal with it, in my opinion, would be to tell the bullies' parents. This won't work on all of the kids - some of them won't care what their parents think - but it should work on a couple of them, and fracture the group. Hopefully, the bullying will die out then. If not, I don't think you've got much choice but to get your parents involved.
Don't forget about yourself in this situation - dealing with a bullied child and trying to sort it all out yourself will have a big effect on you, and will probably be very stressful. Make sure you've got a friend who will listen to you and won't interfere.
i know she does have a self esteem problem, cus her ears stick out a bit but i dont think this is what shes being bullied for, i think its just cus she wont fight back and shes an easy target.
i dont really want to tell any of my friends cus i dont want to pressure them, they dont deserve it. the only real people i can talk to are my gran, the teachers and you guys
~*glitter*~
we were walking to school/6th form this morning and i asked her what was wrong and she just broke down and told me she was being bullied. its been going on for a while now and last night she had ten bells of **** kicked out of her, she has a big lump on her head so i marched her straight to the assistant headteacher (as shes in charge of all this sort of stuff).
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
thing is, i knew there was something up with her becuase shes been really weird for a while now, she wont eat properly, wont talk to you, all you get is "dunno" or "yeah". and the past couple of days or so shes been going straight to bed when she gets in.
my parents seem to think that shes taking drugs or something as she seems so withdrawn, i just past it off as being hormones.
my parents get really mad at her about stuff she does, when she doesnt answer them properly etc, im worried this could be too much pressure on her and could end up sending her further over the edge.
i really need help in helping her as i dont know what to do, im really worried and frightened that she might do something stupid.
what can i do?
that sucks. do you know why they are bullying her? theres usually a reason of some sort behind it.Hmmm, I don't know what to say really. Just make sure you're always there for her to come to when it gets her down.
I'd strongly advise against telling your parents without your sisters consent. The last thing she needs is to feel betrayed by the one person she can turn to. From the sounds of it, telling your parents wouldn't do much good anyway, so you're probably best trying to sort it yourself with the school.
Are schools any good at dealing with bullies these days? They were hopeless when I was at school. Common practise for stopping bullying was to get someone bigger to kick seven shades of crap out of the bully and tell them to leave you alone. I'd have hoped some progress might have been made since then.
I'd strongly advise against telling your parents without your sisters consent. The last thing she needs is to feel betrayed by the one person she can turn to. From the sounds of it, telling your parents wouldn't do much good anyway, so you're probably best trying to sort it yourself with the school.
Are schools any good at dealing with bullies these days? They were hopeless when I was at school. Common practise for stopping bullying was to get someone bigger to kick seven shades of crap out of the bully and tell them to leave you alone. I'd have hoped some progress might have been made since then.
technik that sucks. do you know why they are bullying her? theres usually a reason of some sort behind it.
that sucks. do you know why they are bullying her? theres usually a reason of some sort behind it.Zurich
Hmmm, I don't know what to say really. Just make sure you're always there for her to come to when it gets her down.
I'd strongly advise against telling your parents without your sisters consent. The last thing she needs is to feel betrayed by the one person she can turn to. From the sounds of it, telling your parents wouldn't do much good anyway, so you're probably best trying to sort it yourself with the school.
Are schools any good at dealing with bullies these days? They were hopeless when I was at school. Common practise for stopping bullying was to get someone bigger to kick seven shades of crap out of the bully and tell them to leave you alone. I'd have hoped some progress might have been made since then.
I'd strongly advise against telling your parents without your sisters consent. The last thing she needs is to feel betrayed by the one person she can turn to. From the sounds of it, telling your parents wouldn't do much good anyway, so you're probably best trying to sort it yourself with the school.
Are schools any good at dealing with bullies these days? They were hopeless when I was at school. Common practise for stopping bullying was to get someone bigger to kick seven shades of crap out of the bully and tell them to leave you alone. I'd have hoped some progress might have been made since then.
the school is very good with dealing with bullies, in the whole of last year they had a total number of 4 cases of bullying, and out of 1656 that isnt bad going i dont think.
my dad has considered moving her to a private school though because of how she is, he thinks its the people shes with that has made her like this and being privately educated would attract a better class of people
~*glitter*~
cus shes small i guess, seems weaker to them i suppose. this one girl who i know is part of it has had a grudge against her for as long asx i remember, but now it seems they are ganging up on her and its getting violent
hmm thats a bit poor.
violence requires a violent response...
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