Have a Boyfriend but love guys flirting with me..

I feel so guilty and pathetic about this.
If I wear sexy stuff when I go out with my boyfriend I know he sees it more as a worry than as "mm my girlfriend looks sexy" or whatever (not that I necessarily do, but I'm presuming he finds me attractive lol...). He only compliments me occasionally when we're having sex or I'm bumming around in crappy clothes and he thinks I look nice, like healthy/ pretty nice, rather than sexy nice.

When I go out with guy mates or friends of friends I get lots of compliments and guys often flirt with me - it's not going anywhere as they all know I have a boyfriend, but I really can't help liking it, it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me want to wear tight-fitting dresses out etc and go out with those sort of people/ where I'm going to get that sort of attention - it's not leery horrible attention that I like, more from people I know a bit. It makes me feel happy and good about myself.

Is this wrong? I sort of know it is but I kind of want to know if any other people feel the same.. :s-smilie:

please keep anon!

Reply 1

FunLady

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make yourself feel good :smile:

Although a lot of guys prefer girls to be natural, rather than have all the slap on.

Reply 2

thisisyesterday

14

Maybe talk to your boyfriend about how you feel - not ALL of it necessarily (it might hurt him to know you like flirting with other guys, and he might not be able to see it rationally), but maybe about the reasoning behind it. Tell him that you feel a bit insecure about the fact that he doesn't compliment you enough, and that if it is something he feels then you would like to hear it from time to time! I think a lot of people like attention, but this may be more because you don't feel like you're getting enough from your boyfriend, so you are looking for it elsewhere - I don't think it's wrong at all, but I think you have to address the reasoning behind it.

Reply 3

thisisyesterday

14

brapboybrap

You are a slut.

/thread.

Um it's not like she's out ******* someone else. She's just looking for a bit of attention because her partner isn't giving her enough. I'd say it was more down to insecurity and a need for reassurance rather than being a slut.

Reply 4

Barton1

12

brapboybrap

You are a slut.

/thread.

lol

Reply 5

wannabe mexican

12

Lol, I have a girlfriend but love it when girls flirt with me. Just make sure you make your bf feel secure in your relationship and that the flirting is harmless.

Reply 6

KayleeLand

16

Low self-esteem springs to my mind.

Reply 7

ooze

13

There's nothing wrong with that. But it sounds like you're feeling quite insecure.

If you talk to your boyfriend, tell him you're feeling down and a few more compliments wouldn't go amiss, or something?

Reply 8

bishbash72

15

thisisyesterday

Um it's not like she's out ******* someone else. She's just looking for a bit of attention because her partner isn't giving her enough. I'd say it was more down to insecurity and a need for reassurance rather than being a slut.

You're right, she's not a slut. I don't use the word anyway. But you can't necessarily blame this on her boyfriend. Everyone's insecure to some extent and gets validation from people flirting with them, it's not his fault.

It's similar to the whole 'yes she cheated, because she wasn't getting enough of the good stuff from him' line we hear so often.

Reply 9

Hollandaise_Sauce

5

women like you make me sick

Reply 10

brapboybrap

2

Hollandaise_Sauce

women like you make me sick

Yep. Snakes with tits.

Think how your boyfriend would feel if he knew he wasn't enough for you. Slag.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I don't think this makes me a slut :frown:

I don't think I particularly flirt back so it's completely harmless, and I would NEVER cheat.

FunLady

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make yourself feel good :smile:

Although a lot of guys prefer girls to be natural, rather than have all the slap on.

I don't wear loads of make-up at all. Nor do I dress very sluttily - it's more like I know I have a good figure so wearing tight-fitting dresses shows that off and gets attention. ahh now I do sound like a slut... it's more like I love wearing dresses as I know it makes me look good and then I get attention which is extra nice.. hmm

Reply 12

thisisyesterday

14

Callum828

You're right, she's not a slut. I don't use the word anyway. But you can't necessarily blame this on her boyfriend. Everyone's insecure to some extent and gets validation from people flirting with them, it's not his fault.

It's similar to the whole 'yes she cheated, because she wasn't getting enough of the good stuff from him' line we hear so often.

No I wouldn't blame her boyfriend as such, and I'm sorry if I've implied that in my posts. But when people are insecure they go to extremes to make themselves feel better, and her dressing up to get attention from other men may just be her extreme. I'm not saying it's right necessarily, but I don't think it's completely wrong either because I can understand the reasoning behind it. If she is insecure it is something she has to deal with herself, but it may be fueled by his actions (ie the lack of compliments).. therefore if she speaks to him about how she feels, it may be resolved, irrespective of who is to blame.

With regards to your latter point, I don't think it's similar at all. One situation is more justifiable than the other, because she isn't actually cheating, or doing anything wrong per se. There's different levels of wrong, and I don't think you can compare those two situations at all.

Reply 13

RYANinCLOTHES

Aww you poor thing. :frown:

It's obvious you are faithful to your boyfriend otherwise you wouldn't be so worried. I think you're more worried that the flirting will escalate and your boyfriend will find out, which will make him freak. TBH, when I had a girlfriend I used to flirt with other girls. I didn't mean it in a "I'm a bastard, I'm gonna cheat on my gf >: )" sort of way, I just liked the fun in it. It doesn't make you a bad person if you like messing about with other guys. I think what you need to do is assure your boyfriend you love him, and that he's the one for you.

I think you'll grow out of it in time, it's just a bit of fun whilst you're young lol.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I feel so guilty and pathetic about this.
If I wear sexy stuff when I go out with my boyfriend I know he sees it more as a worry than as "mm my girlfriend looks sexy" or whatever (not that I necessarily do, but I'm presuming he finds me attractive lol...). He only compliments me occasionally when we're having sex or I'm bumming around in crappy clothes and he thinks I look nice, like healthy/ pretty nice, rather than sexy nice.

When I go out with guy mates or friends of friends I get lots of compliments and guys often flirt with me - it's not going anywhere as they all know I have a boyfriend, but I really can't help liking it, it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me want to wear tight-fitting dresses out etc and go out with those sort of people/ where I'm going to get that sort of attention - it's not leery horrible attention that I like, more from people I know a bit. It makes me feel happy and good about myself.

Is this wrong? I sort of know it is but I kind of want to know if any other people feel the same.. :s-smilie:

please keep anon!

I feel the same sometimes and its basically the same thing i dont get enough attention off him and look for it from others

Ive been with him for over 3 yrs and iv never slept with anyone else.. what im guilty about is just having guys flirt with me (totally innocent stuff) they know i got a bf and all the rest.

Ive stopped talking to guys who even flirt the slightest because i want to be loyal to my bf...but it would be nice if he gave me a lil bit more attention i really do need it :frown:

We have a long distance relationship, we see each other only once every 2 months but i know hes the one for me. Our main form of communication is through phone, i cant talk to him when hes at work for obvious reasons, in the evening he goes to sleep for about 2 hours and then goes off to the gym or over his mates house so i cant talk to him then. I just wish he'd make some time for me.

For example yesterday i only heard his voice for 3.45 minutes (just checked on my phone)

I know exactly how you feel...we just need to drum in the fact into these idiots heads that we need attention

Reply 15

Rutter knows best!

12

he should get rid. i would not want a girl who is flattered by the advances of random men. even worse flirting back with male friendds i had trusted you to behave around. its like you just take your boyfriend for granted, if he knew you felt this way i think he would find it quite unnattractive. you just continue padding your ego with other men, engaging in recieving and playing down?(my arse) they're advances because you are no more a typical attention whore. you have a perfectly good and loving boyfriend yet you seek out comfirmation of being attractive from other men. i feel sorry for the guy because this is one of thse subtle problems and you will quite happily continue with. your attempts to have your ego padded (wherever you can get it) will go on because i think its a void you boyfriend will never be able to fill. you should'nt be in a relationship.

Reply 16

L i b

19

It's 'cause you're a whore.

Reply 17

xwardax

its funny to see how men are the ones that go flirting around with every girl they see even if theyre married with 3 kids!!

and on this thread all the boys have accused OP of being a slut when she clearly is not

Reply 18

brapboybrap

2

RYANinCLOTHES

Aww you poor thing. :frown:

It's obvious you are faithful to your boyfriend otherwise you wouldn't be so worried. I think you're more worried that the flirting will escalate and your boyfriend will find out, which will make him freak. TBH, when I had a girlfriend I used to flirt with other girls. I didn't mean it in a "I'm a bastard, I'm gonna cheat on my gf >: )" sort of way, I just liked the fun in it. It doesn't make you a bad person if you like messing about with other guys. I think what you need to do is assure your boyfriend you love him, and that he's the one for you.

I think you'll grow out of it in time, it's just a bit of fun whilst you're young lol.

That is possibly the campest post I have ever read.

Reply 19

sarCAZm

11

My boyfriend never compliments me :/

Have a Boyfriend but love guys flirting with me..

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