The Student Room Group

Want someone to care for, sick of singledom- NOT inspired by valentines lol

Mm, Im sick of being single.

Ok, Im truly sick of being single. Im not bad looking (I model for magazines) Im not unintelligent I got AAAA for A level, Im continually told I have a funny sense of humour and make people smile. I would never hurt anyone and genuinely try to be pleasant most days, even when I feel awful inside. I have my faults like anyone, but Im not brash/slutty and Id like to think I was well read and respected myself.

But I dont seem to be able to find a guy. Ive tried the "Im not looking" because everyone says they appear at the least likely times- hasnt worked. I seem to attract guys who want sex for one night and then sod off, Im not that sort of person at all- and I dont dress to attract guys of that nature. Im told im quite elegant in my dress sense.

I just wonder, what is wrong with me? Because surely it must be something if no one asks me out, the guys always look but never come talk to me...and I dont look like Im going to break their soul if they do! Yet my friends seem to get dates quite easily- and make less of an effort with their appearance shall we say, though of course their personalities are wonderful.

Two guys I dated cheated on me, whenever I tell this to a new date after him enquiring about my previous experiences they always say "Id never do that, your beautiful- Id keep you" and yet they go and do the same thing. So depressing :frown:

mm Anyone else feel disheartened too?

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Reply 1
yes totally lol...and i get what you said about your mates getting dates easily, how come some people never seen to be single and others only meet someone once in a blue moon??
Reply 2
lol, I said this earlier. I'm sick of being single, but ahh well.

Ditto with loafer, lulz.
Reply 3
It's like in the 40 year old virgin. Plant lots of seeds. Make friends with tons of guys. If they turn out to be dicks, ditch them and stop hanging out with them. By knowing them as mates first, you'll be able to find out if they have a history for cheating, or wouldn't be suitable for relationships, and things like that. When you know which ones you really like as people, start flirting with them untill one of them asks you out.
Reply 4
Maybe getting into a conversation with a bloke or two might help your cause. You can't expect always to be approached.

And you're probably unlucky as much as anything.

Can I ask, how old are you?

And "I'd keep you" - doesn't that fire off warning signs for you? It's all ownership and unrespectful imho.
Reply 5
Lol...I mean Im lucky that in every other aspect of my life Im very happy :smile:

One guy friend said its because I appear intimidating because of how I look and speak [no Im not a toff- but my friends are continually teasing me that I speak as such!) And yet I think im quite friendly, in that Id talk to anyone :P

Its weird, Im quite popular and I have a lot of friends that I adore and would do anything for. Im doing my dream career, and completely love university after starting off not really liking it that much. I wouldnt say Im arrogant but Im not underconfident. I wonder what the problem is? lol.
Reply 6
You just have to be patient. I didn't click with anyone till quite recently. It sucks to be single for ages, but just get on with your life and don't think about it (its not like thinking about it can change the situation! It just makes you miserable) When you change circumstance (new place, new job..) at some point it will happen.
Reply 7
Yes!
This is strange, but I'm pretty much a male equivalent...apart from the fact that i've been cheated on about 5 times. I do feel disheartened, but happier that I'm not being screwed over. I feel like I could really give a lot to the right person, but that girl just hasn't 'arrived'.


You dont live anywhere near the midlands do you? lol

IeuanF
Maybe getting into a conversation with a bloke or two might help your cause. You can't expect always to be approached.

And you're probably unlucky as much as anything.

Can I ask, how old are you?

And "I'd keep you" - doesn't that fire off warning signs for you? It's all ownership and unrespectful imho.


Yes it does, hence I told that particular guy I wasnt interested.
Im 20- and sometimes I get a bit shy talking to guys- which is ridiculous because Im known as the well spoken/will chat to anyone kind of girl. But secretly thats the reason why I dont lol
Reply 8
guys are scared of girls they think are hawt. just cuz they think you are a stuck up bitch. just let people know you are friendly without trying to get on them. don't let them convince you into bed either because thats just getting nowhere fast
Why are you posting this in annon? :top2:
Reply 10
Anonymous
You dont live anywhere near the midlands do you? lol


London!
Reply 11
Yes!
London!


Shame, not meant to be :P lol

And why am I anon? I kind of feel big headed saying I model and Im good looking. Also I know people on here, who would think Im being ridiculous and take the mickey lol!
Anonymous
Yes it does, hence I told that particular guy I wasnt interested.
Im 20- and sometimes I get a bit shy talking to guys- which is ridiculous because Im known as the well spoken/will chat to anyone kind of girl. But secretly thats the reason why I dont lol


Nah, I get that quite a lot too. Less so now I'm 'off the market', so to speak. :biggrin:

Also, to avoid them cheating on you, you need to properly get to know them before it goes anywhere. I don't like the concept of dates, personally, and think that meeting up with other friends around is much more fruitful, and less pressured. But then it's been friends of friends in the past for me, so it hasn't had to be manufactured, or anything.

You just have to recognise when you have a proper connection with someone, as they're unlikely to cheat on you.
Anonymous
Shame, not meant to be :P lol

And why am I anon? I kind of feel big headed saying I model and Im good looking. Also I know people on here, who would think Im being ridiculous and take the mickey lol!


You model?! I'll be needing pics in my inbox please :top2:
Reply 14
Just go on more dates with guys, get to know them and see where it goes. It might not happen right now, but it will happen sooner or later. At least that's what I tell myself!
I agree with what Kultist said, you have to get out there and plant some seeds, you need to be pro-active. You can't carry on doing what you are doing and expect results because it's obviously not working. Two quotes spring to mind: 'if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got' and 'the definition of insanity is repeating the same task over and over and expecting different results each time.'

If you're not meeting the right guys currently, branch out (clubs aren't always the best places to meet people anyway), join a club/society, do charity work, go gigs, join a sports team or something. Basically do things that bring you into contact with a wide variety of people and that will widen your social circle.

Even if you do all that, it won't mean a thing unless you are prepared to act. It's like what IeuanF said, you can't always expect to be approached. If you are that keen to loose your single status, you will have to take the initiative I'm afraid. If you find that prospect daunting then just think, would you rather continue the way you are for the next 6 months/12 years or put up with a little bit of awkardness/potential embarassment for 2 minutes. It doesn't even have to be embarassing if you go about it the right way. Read the signals before you make a move so you lessen the risk of rejection. If you don't know how to do that, get a book on flirting or body language. If you need a bit of extra courage, get a book on overcoming fear. (Fear the friend of exceptional people-Geoff Thompson and Feel the fear and do it anyway-Susan Jeffers.)

The important thing is though, don't come across a being desperate or clingy or needy and maintain a positive attitude. No one is attracted to negativity really. There is nothing worse than listening to someone moaning all the time. Let the other person do all the talking and you can't really loose. People like to talk about themselves and it takes the onus off you to make conversation. For more on this, read How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Again, these are positive pro-active steps you are going to have to take if you don't want to maintain the status quo. What use are words without action?

To counter everything I have just said though, just enjoy life. I've been single for 7 years now and I'm quite happy and content. I'm getting on with my life, there is no big deal about being single. Sure it would be nice to meet the right girl but I'm not putting my life on hold until I do and I'm not really assed about meeting her. If I was I would be pro-active and probably sign up to match.com or something but I can live without a partner. Even if you feel that you can't, the more busier and happier and fulflling your life is, the more people will be attracted to you.
Reply 16
I strongly believe it's all about not yet having met sufficiently interesting or intelligent people. I'm facing a similar(ish) problem. It's not that I want to be single, there just don't seem to be all that many suitable candidates.

And yes, I'm sick of singledom too.

- Hang in there :cool:,

- D.
It could be that guys find you intimidating. Therefore they assume they will be rejected or that you have a boyfriend already.
Reply 18
Ang|ophi|e
It could be that guys find you intimidating. Therefore they assume they will be rejected or that you have a boyfriend already.


This is so true. Some of my sister's friends are absolutely stunning yet are single and have nobody approach them when they're out. Lots of lads are intimidated by great looking girls for the fear of rejection, plus there's the whole rubbish of not 'punching above your weight'. :rolleyes:
Reply 19
Anonymous
Mm, Im sick of being single.

Ok, Im truly sick of being single. Im not bad looking (I model for magazines) Im not unintelligent I got AAAA for A level, Im continually told I have a funny sense of humour and make people smile. I would never hurt anyone and genuinely try to be pleasant most days, even when I feel awful inside. I have my faults like anyone, but Im not brash/slutty and Id like to think I was well read and respected myself.

But I dont seem to be able to find a guy. Ive tried the "Im not looking" because everyone says they appear at the least likely times- hasnt worked. I seem to attract guys who want sex for one night and then sod off, Im not that sort of person at all- and I dont dress to attract guys of that nature. Im told im quite elegant in my dress sense.

I just wonder, what is wrong with me? Because surely it must be something if no one asks me out, the guys always look but never come talk to me...and I dont look like Im going to break their soul if they do! Yet my friends seem to get dates quite easily- and make less of an effort with their appearance shall we say, though of course their personalities are wonderful.

Two guys I dated cheated on me, whenever I tell this to a new date after him enquiring about my previous experiences they always say "Id never do that, your beautiful- Id keep you" and yet they go and do the same thing. So depressing :frown:

mm Anyone else feel disheartened too?


Ah I didnt think girls like you even exist.
Everytime I talk to good looking girls they seem really shallow and not interesting. Id love to finally meet a girl thats not just beautiful but also interesting and smart.

Ah well, maybe when I go to uni.

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