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very worried about friend in hibernation

hey people

just wondering if anyone have any bright ideas.
one of my best mates at uni was never a good student. this semeter they've only come to uni maybe three times. they didnt come in last semester and cheated their way out of exams, the exams all been deferred til june.he has recently found out he have to go back to his home county, and was pretty sad about it. he hasnt been in uni only twice since jan. and since he found out, he said he wants to be alone until he is ok. but its been nearly 2 weeks and he's just staying at home and n still isnt talking to anyone. if i txt, he doesnt text back. if i call, he doesnt answer. im really worried. people are saying he's gonna fail everything so can face coming back to uni, but as for not talking to anyone, i dono hat to do. do you think he's ok?what should i do? :frown:

Reply 1

viviki

14

this is your ex isn't it

Reply 2

magiccarpet

OP

2

yes but im really worried about him. when i last saw him, nearly a month ago, he looked so depressed and didnt speak to anyone else. and to me he said 'i really dont wana talk'. im really worried he might do something to himself, or at the very least, get depressed

Reply 3

magiccarpet

OP

2

nobody cares :bawling:

im really worried. everyone at uni thinks he's left and they dont bother with him :frown:

Reply 4

saz_1989

2

why don't you go see him or something? or phone his parents or sibling etc

Reply 5

magiccarpet

OP

2

thats the thing. his family are all in hong kong and dont speak english.i cant go see him cos i dont have his flat's address. i cant look it up cos hes renting from a landlord/lady, dono who they are

Reply 6

Alewhey

Hop on the train, go see him. And if you can't be bothered to do that... get over him?

Reply 7

magiccarpet

OP

2

err hello, i cant do that for the above reason, dono where he's staying

and even if i am over him, i stil care and im worried about him. he isnt talking to anyone for almost three weeks now, and wont go out etc

Reply 8

magiccarpet

OP

2

im worried and dont know what to do :frown:

he seemed really depressed and he might be dead
any ideas?

Reply 9

HereFishyFishy

13

Talk to the university.

Reply 10

magiccarpet

OP

2

no cos then they'll see he hasnt been attending since sept and they'll throw him out proper. he isnt attending cos he's lazy. he doesnt want to attend but he has to cos his parents say he must. he wants to stay in uk, saying to his parents that he loves studying law. but secretly its because they r overprotective in the extreme that he frighten to go back.

so if i talk to uni, they'll tell his parents that he is thrown out

Reply 11

HereFishyFishy

13

Have they thrown him out of uni or not? Officially I mean. It's sad but I really don't think this is your problem. If he is not attending because he is lazy this is kind of this fault.

Reply 12

magiccarpet

OP

2

Laces

Have they thrown him out of uni or not? Officially I mean. It's sad but I really don't think this is your problem. If he is not attending because he is lazy this is kind of this fault.

officially, no. he couldnt sit the exams cos he wasnt attending, so he tried loads of smart stuff like forging air ticket./passport/doctors note and now they r asking for more evidence or they'll fail him

but im not worried about him at uni. as u said, im not taking responsibility for his actions.the work is up to him.

but if he's staying home alson and not talking to anyone for nearly three weeks, after how depressed he was last time im really worried and need to do something. i dono where he is, and no one at uni knows either but they dont care. what do i do?im worried if he's ok. he doesnt have family in the uk

Reply 13

saz_1989

2

phone him and withhold your phone number?

surely he's gotta answer if he doesn't know who it is!

Reply 14

magiccarpet

OP

2

no i did that when we argued he knows its me still wont answer cos im the oly person who will do that. think he just isnt answering to anyone

Reply 15

LPK

20

*becomes derek acorah*

im sensing a house. A lot of tissues. i can see a country with lots of building. What is this sam? Sam tells me he is upset and u are to go and comfort him whatever way u can.

Reply 16

saz_1989

2

that's a bit worrying if you havent seen/heard from him in three weeks. don't the uni have his address?

Reply 17

kateington

magiccarpet

nobody cares :bawling:

im really worried. everyone at uni thinks he's left and they dont bother with him :frown:

I gather you're at uni. There are loads of people at the uni qualified for this sort of thing and even if they're not, they can put your friend in touch with people that can help. They can also give you advise on how to be there

Reply 18

magiccarpet

OP

2

Lozza

that's a bit worrying if you havent seen/heard from him in three weeks. don't the uni have his address?

yes i think they must do, but it might be his address in his home country. actually, yea i think i can get his address by somehow getting into the american football team files, they keep the adds for in case the person gets injured.

so what do i do, just turn up there?if he's depressed and wants to be alone, he's gonna go mad if i do that! and isnt it a massive invasion of privacy?

Reply 19

kateington

magiccarpet

yes i think they must do, but it might be his address in his home country. actually, yea i think i can get his address by somehow getting into the american football team files, they keep the adds for in case the person gets injured.

so what do i do, just turn up there?if he's depressed and wants to be alone, he's gonna go mad if i do that! and isnt it a massive invasion of privacy?

Put it this way, would you rather you turn up, find him ok and have him made at you, or don't turn up, then find out that there was something wrong.

very worried about friend in hibernation

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