Is romance dead?

Reply 60

I don't think romance is dead per se, but I do think it's more of an option rather than the sole reason for having a relationship. We now have more and more choices when it comes to EVERYTHING, and our relationships are changing because of this. Therefore, we can choose to have many different kinds of relationships. We can keep it light, and just "date" like they do in America, and enjoy meals and fun times with many different people without committing to love and deep emotional connections. We can just sleep around if we like, and either rely on random hook-ups or have a "**** buddy". Or we can choose what is (to me) the most fulfilling and exciting option- to find someone who you really love and care about. Someone who you can talk to for hours on end, someone whose hand you can hold, someone who you miss hopelessly when they're not around, someone who excites you and inspires you, someone you can trust and depend on, someone who you can be completely yourself with, someone who you want to make happy. This is the route I've taken. I'm in love and I'm so happy- so to me, romance is far from dead. And thank god for that :biggrin:

Reply 61

Esme

F. Poste: you are so lucky! and i think those 3 ways of dating are accurate. having that kind of relationship is fab.

Reply 62

queenselphie

I'm not convinced that romance is dead. I was in a relationship with someone who lacked imagination for four years, so there wasn't much romance there, but even so, there were little things, like a time we both watched a sad movie and I was crying, and I looked up, and there he was, crying too, but trying to hide it. I asked him why he was crying and he said it wasn't the movie, it was the fact that I was sad. :redface:

He wasn't the sort to have enough originality to make something like that up, so when he did do sweet things, I knew they'd taken him about a billion times more effort than they would take me, and were genuine expressions of how he felt.

However: now I'm single, I've noticed far more romantic gestures and I think it's true people try harder when they are trying to win you (the guy I'm casually dating in London sent me a diabetic easter egg through the post with a card :p:

) after all, thats what courtship was about in ye olden days, wasnt it? it was about them trying to win your heart, and the girls acting all aloof and cold.

I think I like it better that girls are allowed to be romantic too, nowadays, and we dont have to act like we hate the guy courting us :p:

but romantic gestures, and eolquence are definately something that would attract me to a guy.

Reply 63

Esme

queenselphie

I think I like it better that girls are allowed to be romantic too, nowadays, and we dont have to act like we hate the guy courting us :p:

but romantic gestures, and eolquence are definately something that would attract me to a guy.

I know, its fun doing something romantic for a guy.

Reply 64

maz69

BlueAngel

lol, I've been waiting for replies for this and none have come yet.
I don't think romance is dead, I see it everywhere I go. My mates boyfriend is always giving her all these romatic gestures and he loves walking in the park with her and holding hands, and he loves sex with candles in the room, and he covered her car up with red roses on her birthday, shes a lucky sod. I saw this very old couple on the train today and they were holding hands and looking at each other, awww it was sweet. My cousin got married over xmas and in her wedding her fiance had fireworks with her name in it and the recption was all covered with smoke, and low lights, and it was all so romantic. Romance is not dead, I'm a very romantic person myself.

awwwww...... how cute!

Reply 65

amo1

14

in our generation, big romantic geustures are dead bar the odd one on valatines/ birthday (if they remember)

Reply 66

Esme

amo1

in our generation, big romantic geustures are dead bar the odd one on valatines/ birthday (if they remember)

I think that to a large extent you are right but there are still a few who still do that. besides, its the little things that count, you know ringing to check you are ok, writing a quick note etc. its like, every so often, if my dad knows my mum has had a particularly bad week at work or something he'll bring her a bunch of flowers.

Reply 67

F. Poste

Esme

F. Poste: you are so lucky! and i think those 3 ways of dating are accurate. having that kind of relationship is fab.

I know I am :biggrin:

Reply 68

Claire19

i dont think dat romance is dead it is just dat some people dont like all dat slushy romantic stuff some people are just in it for lust.

Reply 69

Feefifofum

16

Romance is definitely NOT dead - I mentioned to my boyfriend a couple of days ago that I had been feeling down was was OK again and on Saturday I recieved a lovely long letter from him and a poem he wrote for me. It wasn't just the things he said in the letter and poem that meant so much, it was the fact that he took all that tiime and effort, it really meant a lot. So yes, I am loved up and smug, but no, romance is not dead :wink:

Reply 70

Esme

feefifofum

Romance is definitely NOT dead - I mentioned to my boyfriend a couple of days ago that I had been feeling down was was OK again and on Saturday I recieved a lovely long letter from him and a poem he wrote for me. It wasn't just the things he said in the letter and poem that meant so much, it was the fact that he took all that tiime and effort, it really meant a lot. So yes, I am loved up and smug, but no, romance is not dead :wink:

that is so cute that he went to all that effort for you. where are you girls finding all these fab guys?

Reply 71

Helenia

20

amo1

in our generation, big romantic geustures are dead bar the odd one on valatines/ birthday (if they remember)

Valentine's day is not romantic because it's so un-spontaneous, it's all over-commercialised and expectations are so high that you have to do something, and that's just engineered, it's not individual at all. It's also my pet hate day, but that's another story.

I don't think that now is necessarily any more or less romantic than times used to be. Sure, girls had to be "wooed" by their amorous men, but once they'd done that, they got married and that was it in many cases - Gone With the Wind is a beautiful example of how girls had a few seasons of living in a social whirl before settling down to tedium and motherhood by the time they were my age (someone is referred to as being nearly 20 and therefore an "old maid" because she's not married). Nowadays things aren't so traditional, but we have so much longer to enjoy them, and get to experience different things with different people, that's as exciting as being swept off your feet once. Not that I'm advocating sleeping around or anything, but the social freedom that we now have means that the situation with relationships is so much different from how it once was.

Of course, I can't help but wish things were sometimes a bit like old times, especially when my grandpa talks about how he met my grandma - it was at his Freshers' ball at university, and he still remembers the yellow dress she was wearing. I don't remember much from my Freshers' bop, and I'm still yet to meet the one, even though I now have a yellow dress! :wink:

Reply 72

Feefifofum

16

Esme

that is so cute that he went to all that effort for you. where are you girls finding all these fab guys?

I found mine at Villiers Park actually, at the course we both did independently last summer. If you can't find anyone you like in your close knit circle you just have to keep looking, there will be someone somewhere. My boyfriend lives miles and miles (about 400 really) away from me but we love each other so it doesn't matter. If you meeet someone that you're meant to be with it will work out, but you do have to do some work yourself, so get out there and go looking!

Is romance dead?

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