Maths Jokes to crack you up...:) Watch

Poll: How good were the Maths Jokes?
They were Great! (7)
24.14%
They were Okay! (3)
10.34%
Could have been Better! (2)
6.9%
They were terrible! (17)
58.62%
*MJ*
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Hi All,

Just want to share some Maths Jokes...:yep:

Please read and rate on the Poll...

Here they are:

Who was the first math kid that was smart at addition at age 5?
Add-em!

What goes up and never comes down?
Addition!

Jack:Mom I got 100% at school today
Mom:Great On what?
Jack 50% on math and 50% on spelling!

What did the Science book say to the Math book?
You have problems, man!

A math teacher was riding on a bike past one of his student's house. His student was digging in the mud. The teacher asked why.
"The weather man said it rained an inch and three
quarters. I'm looking for the three quarters!"

Why was the gluestick bad at Math?
Because it kept getting stuck on the questions!

Why was the obtuse angle ugly?
She wasn't a cute angle!

If 1 = 5,
2 = 25,
3 = 125,
& 4 = 525,
What is 5 equal to?
1!

What did the mathbook say to his troubled friend?
Sorry, I cant help you; I got too many problems of my own!

What is a polar bear's favorite shape??
ICE-osceles triangle!

What did the math book say to his friend when he got a problem?
You can COUNT on me!

What kind of tree does the math teacher have?
Geome-tree!!!!!

Why is a long nose only 11 inches long?
Because if it was 12 inches long, it would become a foot!

What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt.

Math teacher:If you were 7 last year, how old will you be next year?
Kid:Nine
Math teacher:Impossible!
Kid:No it isn't teacher, I'm eight today!

If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 3 apples and 3 oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
Very Large Hands

What did the circle say to the tangent line?
"Stop touching me!"

How do you make seven an even number?
Remove the "S"!

Where did the math student eat his lunch?
At the multiplication table!

Which knight helped King Arthur build his round table?
Sir Cumference!

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because 7 ATE 9!

A female angle and a male angle had a baby. When it was was born they said,
He's such acute angle!".

What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots!

Why was the obtuse angle upset?
Because he was never right!

Tell me how you all find them...

Have Fun...

Takecare...
0
reply
The_Gene_Genie
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
Please go away and come back when you've grown up a bit....

EDIT: Where's the option for OP's a ****?
0
reply
Big Kabz
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
Doesn't crack me up
0
reply
Rian1988
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
What did the constipated mathematician do?


He worked it out with a pencil.
0
reply
el scorcho
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
I voted for the "they were great" option
0
reply
Tibbles168
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
Yep, they're pretty bad. :awesome:
I have better ones.
e.g. there's a very simple method of simplifying the fractions, for example, consider 16/64. Just cancel out the sixes on the top and the bottom to give 1/4.........
the same can be done with (a^2 + b^2)/(a - b)
cancel out the as and the bs to give you: (a + b)/(1 - 1)
and you can divide the + by a - to give you another - on the top
so the answer is simply (a - b)!
0
reply
Pixels
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#7
Report 10 years ago
#7
Why don't mathematicians need to go to the beach?
Because they already have sin and cos to get a tan.

Why do mathematicians like parks?
Because of all the natural logs.
0
reply
watermelon sugar
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8
Report 10 years ago
#8
those are crap.

what did the mathematician say after crhistmas dinner? "square root of -1 over square root of 64"
0
reply
Cobalt_Shift
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report 10 years ago
#9
Why is the integral of 1/cabin a nice place to be?
Because it's a natural log cabin, beside the 'c'....

Also not really a 'joke' but maths chatup lines:
"hey baby, I wish you were my derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves"
"...why don't you be Sin^2 x, and I'll be Cos^2 x, and together we can be 1..."

Who says maths can't be fun?!!

[/geekiness]
0
reply
*MJ*
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#10
Lol these are all cool...who's got any more?
0
reply
thetopnotch
Badges: 14
#11
Report 10 years ago
#11
(Original post by Rian1988)
What did the constipated mathematician do?


He worked it out with a pencil.
this made me lol, but I think it's something to do with being up at 2am
0
reply
Surnia
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#12
Report 3 weeks ago
#12
There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who understand binary and those who don't.
0
reply
the bear
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#13
Report 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by hgdsfjsgfvguif)
To be honest with you, do you actually have any ****ing friends considering that you are making *****y maths puns on a ****ING website. Not going to the belt one with 0 and 8 cracked my pals up. But not me, i think you are a pathetic human being if i am honest. Just and move on with live you sad ****.
reported
0
reply
the bear
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report 3 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by hgdsfjsgfvguif)
Sorry folks, not allowed to swear on this awful website, to be honest every single one of yous on here is a VIRGIN. The only friends you will all have is friends you make from maths puns.

Take care
reported
0
reply
YaliaV
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#15
Report 3 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by hgdsfjsgfvguif)
To be honest with you, do you actually have any ****ing friends considering that you are making *****y maths puns on a ****ING website. Not going to the belt one with 0 and 8 cracked my pals up. But not me, i think you are a pathetic human being if i am honest. Just and move on with live you sad ****.
The thread is ten years old...
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA GCSE Physics Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (410)
30.35%
The paper was reasonable (535)
39.6%
Not feeling great about that exam... (230)
17.02%
It was TERRIBLE (176)
13.03%

Watched Threads

View All