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Need male opinions

ok so we were having a debate and i was the only female there at the time so quite curious as to what the rest of you guys think... we were talking about virginity and there were several schools of thought. 1) wait until you're married (he's christian) 2) what is the point to it you (ie girls) can DIY or jus have a few drinks get with a guy..... 3) it's best if you wait til you're in love but as long as you do it when you want to and 4) not really fussed....so what's the deal here? what do you guys think of 18yr old virgins who are waiting for love etc? Would you choose a virgin or prefer a girl with experience? or is there such a thing as too much experience???
sorry it's a long one but i was so suprised at some of their comments about their ex's and the complete double standards!
thank you! :smile:

Reply 1

magiccarpet

2

i was wondering about it too!

i've never met a guy who wait until married :eek:

but lots of girls say they will....until they hit 16 yrs old lol

Reply 2

Tyler Durden

17

Some things have made me wish I had waited.

Reply 3

darryl

13

Personally I am with mystery man number (3) :biggrin:

hehe

As to double standards... I know and how unfair!

Guys with experience are often see as "cool" (I do not share this view! I would just like to reinforce now) but girls are "sluts/ slappers" and what ever else guys see fit.

I do think you can have sex too quickly BUT there shouldn't be double standards about ANYTHING!

Reply 4

technik

13

as a guy...

3 seems the best bet and thats how i operate. i have to be very close to the person and trust them.

i think an 18yr old girl who is waiting for the right person would be a really good person to meet. certainly more desirable than soiled goods :wink:

Reply 5

anjimcflanji

OP

1

I'm so glad we haven't had any agree with 2 as I nearly hit him although he has an emotional IQ of around a 3 year old....i'm glad technik thinks like that as number 2 also dumped a girl because she was a virgin and wanted to wait a lil while to get to know him! crazy paving indeed. yes we do have a few guys waiting til they get married they've also converted one guy into not having sex again until he's married...maybe it's my school and we're all just odd...... : )

Reply 6

amo1

14

i think a 21 year old virgin whos willing to sleep out of love/marriage is a bit wierd

why?

If a guy decided not to date me simply cus I'm a virgin then tbh I don't really wanna be with such a man. If he's not gonna love me for me but want me for sex then tbh he can go sod off really. I will/defo want to, at least, wait til after marriage before I have sex - one thing that's reserved only for my husband.

I wouldn't let any guys touch me full stop unless we were serious about each other.

Reply 9

Tyler Durden

17

irisng

If a guy decided not to date me simply cus I'm a virgin then tbh I don't really wanna be with such a man. If he's not gonna love me for me but want me for sex then tbh he can go sod off really. I will/defo want to, at least, wait til after marriage before I have sex - one thing that's reserved only for my husband.

I wouldn't let any guys touch me full stop unless we were serious about each other.

Do you feel strongly that your husband should be a virgin too?

Reply 10

amo1

14

magiccarpet

why?

i think in this case people can be in 2 groups,
1. those who will have sex as a part of a not very serious relationship or casually, as they see it as some kind of expression of passion
2. those who want love and marrige and the whole package b4 they give themselves to someone

and i thhink it would be strabge to get a 21year old group 1 person

Reply 11

magiccarpet

2

irisng

If a guy decided not to date me simply cus I'm a virgin then tbh I don't really wanna be with such a man. If he's not gonna love me for me but want me for sex then tbh he can go sod off really. I will/defo want to, at least, wait til after marriage before I have sex - one thing that's reserved only for my husband.

I wouldn't let any guys touch me full stop unless we were serious about each other.

damn right girl!!

im of the same opinion although at my age (19) alot of fit guys get put off by that. do you think you'll ever meet a guy who will have a relationship with you to the point they wana marry you with out having sex?

Reply 12

amo1

14

irisng

If a guy decided not to date me simply cus I'm a virgin then tbh I don't really wanna be with such a man. If he's not gonna love me for me but want me for sex then tbh he can go sod off really. I will/defo want to, at least, wait til after marriage before I have sex - one thing that's reserved only for my husband.

I wouldn't let any guys touch me full stop unless we were serious about each other.

i agree about the whole, guy who wont go out with u cause of sex, as that reflects badly on him rather than u

Reply 13

anjimcflanji

OP

1

i think it is hard though at the age of 17/18/19 if you've never had sex for whatever reason...not found the right person, protective parents, had a bad experience for boys to accept a girl who wants some sort of commitment before they make that step or at least that's what the general theme seemed to show. But what sort of time would you guys wait? is that just a when it feels right or are you like ok after 4 months if we aren't getting to that stage then goodbye? sorry for all the questions but i really was left with my head spinning about what you guys think!

Reply 14

Adhsur

15

I'm 19 and not planning to for ages yet. I'm glad I've waited. I think something as intimate as that is more special if you wait - and hopefully my future partner will have waited as well...don't think there are any guys like that that exist though.

Reply 15

Mad Vlad

19

I'd ideally like to lose my virginity to a virgin... I'm also not going to settle for someone who isn't right, but I'm not going to wait till marriage for it either. Just until the time is right :smile:

Reply 16

technik

13

anjimcflanji

i think it is hard though at the age of 17/18/19 if you've never had sex for whatever reason...not found the right person, protective parents, had a bad experience for boys to accept a girl who wants some sort of commitment before they make that step or at least that's what the general theme seemed to show. But what sort of time would you guys wait? is that just a when it feels right or are you like ok after 4 months if we aren't getting to that stage then goodbye? sorry for all the questions but i really was left with my head spinning about what you guys think!

society and peers build up this stigma around virgins as losers, ugly people who could never get someone etc etc...

in the school you always have people bigging themselves up as the most desirable sex god in the whole world.

im not a virgin myself, havent been for years. though ive only been with one person as part of a relationship and i aint had sex for a few years, so im not one of these casual people. just aint had such a serious relationship since. but if i went out tomorrow and met a 20yr virgin girl (im 20 you see) and we got into a serious relationship where we cared about each other i'd wait as long as i had to. its selfish and lame to pressure a girl and its not very gentlemanly either. if it meant waiting years i think i would be fine with that. a loving relationship is more satisfying than a quick shag with someone in my opinion, and it means when the other person was ready it'll be more special for both people.

i'll shush now :smile:

Reply 17

anjimcflanji

OP

1

talk away i'm really glad you're saying such things you're slowly restoring my faith in men and i agree men just seem to push and push but society lets them and i don't think it's fair. im not so sure about the stigma i just think from experience of me and the people i know that after a certain point 17ish it's harder to find someone I don't know why but that seems to be the trend. maybe it's true those having sex are more attractive...but that's another thread by itself!

Reply 18

technik

13

anjimcflanji

talk away i'm really glad you're saying such things you're slowly restoring my faith in men and i agree men just seem to push and push but society lets them and i don't think it's fair. im not so sure about the stigma i just think from experience of me and the people i know that after a certain point 17ish it's harder to find someone I don't know why but that seems to be the trend. maybe it's true those having sex are more attractive...but that's another thread by itself!

you'll find the annoying men with less moral fibre will be the most outspoken and most conspicious leading to a tarring brush effect on all of us.

dont worry...there are many great guys out there, ones who's interest extends beyond your underpants...you just have to take your time and look :biggrin:

Reply 19

magiccarpet

2

anjimcflanji

talk away i'm really glad you're saying such things you're slowly restoring my faith in men and i agree men just seem to push and push but society lets them and i don't think it's fair. im not so sure about the stigma i just think from experience of me and the people i know that after a certain point 17ish it's harder to find someone I don't know why but that seems to be the trend. maybe it's true those having sex are more attractive...but that's another thread by itself!

not really. but having sex probably gives you more confidence around the opposite sex which is attractive.after 17, people either are in relationships or between them i think.

i 've met alot of girls willing to wait for marriage but no guys, so surely these girl'll be left single, as a guy mentioned here earlier post, he'd wait 4 months then leave

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