This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

I pay CSA but my partner won't let me see my kid!

Big problem, she left me a while ago.
She won't let me see my daughter even though I am paying CSA.
It is really getting me down because I can't afford to take any legal action either, I don't have nearly enough money.
Any ideas?
Please Help.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

silverbolt

stop paying CSA bet she'd come running then - and keep the money safe to make a back payment.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Awww man. My dad doesn't pay CSA and gets away with it cos he lives abroad.

Reply 3

Rowaboat

She has to let you unless you're a danger (paedophile..child molester etc)

Reply 4

abc1234

Hi, thanks for all of your help.
My daughter is 2 years old now, we never had any sort of custody arrangement, I didn't think she would leave me, it was about 18 months ago.
She just went away to her parents so I guess they look after the child when she is away. I want to see my child every week-end but she just never lets me see her at all.

Reply 5

aimzdy

Citizens advice bureau they'll give you legal advice and may be able to sort you out with free legal representation so you can claim your right to see your child. Have you tried talking to your ex's parents? explain to them you just want to be a part of your daughters life, and maybe they can put in a word for you to your ex?

Reply 6

abc1234

Not really, it's almost as if they are scared of her.
She always controls them to doing what she wants.

Reply 7

tayalouise

Sounds like a job for Jeremy Kyle!

Reply 8

tom//

refuse to pay it

cant believe people can get away with not letting their children see their parents

Reply 9

ChopinNocturne

Rowaboat

She has to let you unless you're a danger (paedophile..child molester etc)

This person's right, it's the law. If you're paying I'm pretty sure you have a right to see the child...

Reply 10

natty_d

tayalouise

Sounds like a job for Jeremy Kyle!

i was waiting for someone to say that... lol

OP, this happened to me when I was bit younger, I wasn't 2 though, and so my Dad called the family court, and I was called in to the court room, it wasn't a nice experience.. Try not to get legal action involved, for the sake of your child, but go to your local citizens advice bureau, they should be able to help you.

Do you know why she won't let you see the child?

Reply 11

ViolatedTreason

i have been through this, but as the child.. stop paying, apply the pressure and she will let you see her, other than that, if you both still have custody of the child, then contact the child support agency and they will do it for you.. make sure you have the money to back pay though.

my mom did it to my dad, then he did it to her.. it works..

Reply 12

anna_spanner89

I don't think you'd get the response you need on a student website to be honest with you mate, most people on here are still at school and education and don't really 'get' the real world! Contact your citizens advice bureau and i'm sure you'll get some proper advice

Reply 13

Danielle89

LOL at the way you assume paying CSA is like rent on your child...

Seriously, get in touch with citizens advice or something, but as people have said, if its going to mean your kid being taken to court and being put through a load of trauma, then unless the mother is a danger to the child I'd persist on going round there a while longer, maybe threaten to go to court about it - she doesnt need to know you're bluffing or not.

Reply 14

ViolatedTreason

http://www.csa.gov.uk/

get in touch with them.

that is what they are there for.. they can help

Reply 15

ChemistBoy

As said before please contact citizens advice. It sounds as if you need a legally agreed visiting rights agreement. The legal guardian of the child (in this case I assume this to be the mother only) is likely to have complete control over who sees the child without a legal agreement regardless of your status as the biological father.

Reply 16

randdom

citizens advice bureau is probably the right place to go.

Hopefully it won't get to the stage where you have to go to court over this, if the two of you can sit down maybe with some sort of mitigator hopefully you would be able to come to a compromise. What ever happens the CAB should be able to atleast point you in the right direction.

Hope that all works out :smile:

Reply 17

*Liana*

Already lots of advice given, but just to add - I believe if you are pursuing a case in the family courts, you are entitled to legal aid - ie the Legal Services Commission pay your solicitor etc, so I don't *think* not having money should be an issue... you could try looking at this site to see if you would be entitled (not sure how good it is)... http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/en/legalaid/calculator.jsp

Otherwise like everyone else has said, you could try Citizen's Advice Bureau etc.

Reply 18

mille2go

Yes, i know of a gentleman who also is not allowed to see his two little ones.
First sign of trouble and the woman says. ."see you in court" and it is usually the mothers that dont work, they are the only ones who can go to court. Who pays, not them. This man will never be able to afford to go to court., so he will never be able to see the children.
Ask the. Children what they want. Of course they want to see daddy.
What goes on between the parents should not interfere with seeing daddy. Unless it he would hurt the children or not take the child home.
Do these women realize how it affects daddy. All i can say is
the women of today.
Maybe women think if they dont see daddy for along time, they will forget.and it will be good for mummy. Tbey make my blood boil.
Please ladies think of the children. They need daddy.
What goes around comes around . Daddy is distort

Reply 19

joker12345

Are your CSA arrangements a private thing or was it arranged through court order? If the first, definitely stop paying. If the second you need to get advice before you stop paying etc, not sure whether you can really do that.