urgh...men!! (Rant)

Sorry need to rant or i'm going to go absoloutly bonkers!!!

Yesterday was my birthday and my supposed to be bf decided to forget it so i got quite angry and spent the day calling him bad things using words that I would not normally use which deffinately do not need to be repeated and he spent the whole evening saying he didnt know what he'd done wrongso i got angrier and angrier so last night deliberatly after midnight i told him what he had forgotten and then this morning he texted me (as by this point he realised i wasn't going to talk to him) saying his uncle died and thats y he forgot...i saw this as a very bad excuse as it would have taken all of 2 minutes to look in his biary see it is my birthday and call me to wish me he couldn't even admit that he made a mistake and forgot my birthday i could've accepted that. I told him that was what i thought and he called me a cold hearted bitch which is a tad unfair because I have forgiven him a couple times in the past but I'm not the sort of gal who will sit there and take it from anyone (am far too strong minded) so i got even more annoyed and i'm just boiling over because i really cared for him a lot but right now i h8 him so much i could take a knife and slit his throat with it if he wan;t all the way in coventry. I suppose thats when things started to go bad for us when he went to uni in coventry because i just kept falling lower and lower on his list of priorities until it got to the point where i got a once in a week duty phonecall and the occassional visit. I would probably believe him about a death in the family but it does get a bit sus when there was a death in his family on my 16th birthday which made him forget anfd he has another family emergency on my 17th birthday and now this on the most important birthday of my life to date. He obviously never read the story the boy who cried wolf stupid idiot!!! urghhh.... I am so mad!!!!

Yes this is a general vent but feel free to post ur opinions lol

Reply 1

Adhsur

15

chandni

i h8 him so much i could take a knife and slit his throat with it if he wan;t all the way in coventry.

That's really horrible! I doubt what he did was enough to deserve this kind of hatred. You don't even say things like that as a joke, and especially not about people you care(d) about! :eek:

Reply 2

Mad Vlad

19

chandni

Sorry need to rant or i'm going to go absoloutly bonkers!!!

Yesterday was my birthday and my supposed to be bf decided to forget it so i got quite angry and spent the day calling him bad things using words that I would not normally use which deffinately do not need to be repeated and he spent the whole evening saying he didnt know what he'd done wrongso i got angrier and angrier so last night deliberatly after midnight i told him what he had forgotten and then this morning he texted me (as by this point he realised i wasn't going to talk to him) saying his uncle died and thats y he forgot...i saw this as a very bad excuse as it would have taken all of 2 minutes to look in his biary see it is my birthday and call me to wish me he couldn't even admit that he made a mistake and forgot my birthday i could've accepted that. I told him that was what i thought and he called me a cold hearted bitch which is a tad unfair because I have forgiven him a couple times in the past but I'm not the sort of gal who will sit there and take it from anyone (am far too strong minded) so i got even more annoyed and i'm just boiling over because i really cared for him a lot but right now i h8 him so much i could take a knife and slit his throat with it if he wan;t all the way in coventry. I suppose thats when things started to go bad for us when he went to uni in coventry because i just kept falling lower and lower on his list of priorities until it got to the point where i got a once in a week duty phonecall and the occassional visit. I would probably believe him about a death in the family but it does get a bit sus when there was a death in his family on my 16th birthday which made him forget anfd he has another family emergency on my 17th birthday and now this on the most important birthday of my life to date. He obviously never read the story the boy who cried wolf stupid idiot!!! urghhh.... I am so mad!!!!

Yes this is a general vent but feel free to post ur opinions lol

Aww...

thats realy mean of him... *hug* don't hate him for it though :frown:

you just need to show him where hes going wrong... give him a bit of a kick up the arse so to speak. You need to confront him over this though before you make any decision on your relationship (if you're going to make one though)
If you need to talk, I'm here :smile:

Reply 3

Feefifofum

16

Well, yes, he should have remembered, but come on, his uncle just died - give him a break

EDIT: woops, guess who didnt read to the end of the post :redface:

It does sound like it might well be an excuse - why not try to find out from a mutual friend? BUT dont go on about wanting to kill him, its too extreme. No question

Reply 4

queenselphie

I know what you mean about him crying wolf... yes, if this time isnt an excuse, the other times might have been. it dosent sound like he's being very sensitive to your needs, but.... you dont sound like you are prepared to give him any sympathy either... maybe its six of one half a dozen of the other? I'd be upset too, if someone did that to me, but I'd also give them the benefit of the doubt about his bereavment.

Reply 5

sparkle86

11

hmmm yea tricky one. about cutting his throat though is very nasty talk i think. thats a bit too much.

its hard cos in some ways i think you're being quite selfish but then if he's forgotten ur birthday before with the same sort of excuses it makes it harder. so i cant really give any advice, im just expressing my opinions.

good luck whatever happens.

karen x

Reply 6

khil

15

You're being a bit harsh on him - what if his uncle really did die? And it's just a birthday, there's no need to wish death on him, you know? - how do you know he wasn't gonna make it up to you later? And anyway it's not really the birthday you're angry about is it? - it's just a trigger. You simply don't get this angry over forgetting a birthday - you're angry because he doesn't seem to care about you, and forgetting your 18th is an indicator of that - that's why you're mad. The b'day thing is just an excuse.

You two need to sit down and talk - if you feel left out, talk to him. It's not gonna work if you two don't communicate. Apologise to him - he's wrong in forgetting your b'day (I wouldn't be very happy either if it were me) - but you're wrong too - calling him names etc - why would you wanna hurt someone you care/cared about?

And the bottomline is, if he really doesn't care about you anymore - why are you hanging around? You're only gonna get hurt. Talk to him, and if he won't change and listen, then maybe you should consider calling it quits - it's unhealthy to be the way you two are atm.

Reply 7

Tyler Durden

17

chandni

Sorry need to rant or i'm going to go absoloutly bonkers!!!

Yesterday was my birthday and my supposed to be bf decided to forget it so i got quite angry and spent the day calling him bad things using words that I would not normally use which deffinately do not need to be repeated and he spent the whole evening saying he didnt know what he'd done wrongso i got angrier and angrier so last night deliberatly after midnight i told him what he had forgotten and then this morning he texted me (as by this point he realised i wasn't going to talk to him) saying his uncle died and thats y he forgot...i saw this as a very bad excuse as it would have taken all of 2 minutes to look in his biary see it is my birthday and call me to wish me he couldn't even admit that he made a mistake and forgot my birthday i could've accepted that. I told him that was what i thought and he called me a cold hearted bitch which is a tad unfair because I have forgiven him a couple times in the past but I'm not the sort of gal who will sit there and take it from anyone (am far too strong minded) so i got even more annoyed and i'm just boiling over because i really cared for him a lot but right now i h8 him so much i could take a knife and slit his throat with it if he wan;t all the way in coventry. I suppose thats when things started to go bad for us when he went to uni in coventry because i just kept falling lower and lower on his list of priorities until it got to the point where i got a once in a week duty phonecall and the occassional visit. I would probably believe him about a death in the family but it does get a bit sus when there was a death in his family on my 16th birthday which made him forget anfd he has another family emergency on my 17th birthday and now this on the most important birthday of my life to date. He obviously never read the story the boy who cried wolf stupid idiot!!! urghhh.... I am so mad!!!!

Yes this is a general vent but feel free to post ur opinions lol

Boo hoo. Really cry me a river. How does his forgetting your birthday justify you wanting to kill him. Yeah it's not great but I doubt he did it to spite you. :rolleyes:

And how would you feel if his uncle did die? There are far worse things in life, and besides guys are notorious about stuff like that. :redface:

Just speak to him about it. The fact that you text him after midnight does show that by that point all you wanted to do was prove a point. If you'd said "Important day today huh?" at 8 in the morning maybe his uncle would have "survived". :biggrin:

Anyway, get over it and get on with life. Worse things happen in life.

Reply 8

chandni

OP

11

yes i must sound like a petulant child but he knows what turmoil i've had in my life the last two years thats probably y i have forgiven him before coz i was scared or something. This yr was meant to be different new beginings and all but even that didn't work really. Maybe saying I want to kill him was a bit over dramatic but that was the sort of anger I felt when he called me a cold hearted bitch. Of course I would ever really do something so drastic I just wouldnt be able to live with myself. I thought about the what if his uncle did die theory and decided chances of it being true are pretty low about 20% or so. 1) because his younger brother txtd me to wish me, 2) he didn't mention it all day on my birthday like some comment like "stop messing around and tell me whats wrong coz my uncle has died" I doubt there is any chance of this relationship being a relationship anymore.

Reply 9

r_raghav11

1

U deserve someone better, remember honesty is important in a relationship. No point playing cat n mouse games!

Reply 10

Adhsur

15

Mad Vlad

Aww...

thats realy mean of him... *hug* don't hate him for it though :frown:

you just need to show him where hes going wrong... give him a bit of a kick up the arse so to speak. You need to confront him over this though before you make any decision on your relationship (if you're going to make one though)
If you need to talk, I'm here :smile:

Reply 11

amo1

14

dump him, sorry if this is blunt, but im in a bad mood :frown:

Reply 12

Yeah_butno

At the end of the day, the chap sounds like a bit of a twit.

Dump him and move on..

Or

Forgive and forget.

Oh, and a belated happy birthday.

Reply 13

Alaric

10

chandni

I thought about the what if his uncle did die theory and decided chances of it being true are pretty low about 20% or so. 1) because his younger brother txtd me to wish me, 2) he didn't mention it all day on my birthday like some comment like "stop messing around and tell me whats wrong coz my uncle has died" I doubt there is any chance of this relationship being a relationship anymore.

Firstly, I agree, you'd have expected him to tell you straight away if his uncle did die, he is (was) your bf after all. It seems slightly unlikely that if he hadn't got any clue that your birthday was coming up and so couldn't even have made the smallest token gesture.
Secondly, I think you should offer your condolences to his younger brother since you're evidently in touch and see what happens.

But tbh, I'm with amo1. It sounds dead to me.

A.

PS: Happy birthday!

Reply 14

magiccarpet

2

can you find out if his uncle really didi die?

it is a bit crap that three years running he's forgot your bday, but guys are like that sometimes, they genuinly forget, they duno what to buy etc so they just ignore it.my ex did that.

however any real man would take it like a man and say yea i forgot let me take you out.but his emergencies are so shyt. just dump this wimp.

urgh...men!! (Rant)

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