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Does a partner's sexual past matter?

If you go out with someone and then realise they've slept with a lot (whatever you consider a lot) of people in the past, do you feel uneasy or do you just not care?

For example, if you found out a couple of people you know quite well had already slept with your girlfriend/boyfriend in the past, on a drunken one night stand, surely that would bother you?

Reply 1

rt6

1

I guess it would bother me. I wouldnt like the idea of knowing my girlfriend has already slept with other people. But thats just me :smile:

Reply 2

kokopops

10

personally, it would bother me if i found out my boyfriend had had one night stands in the past...id be scared he might be after one thing

Reply 3

Beekeeper

13

You could obviously use their past as a pretty accurate indication of what they will be like in future.

Reply 4

Annik

2

lol..there wud be pressure to "impress" :rolleyes:

Reply 5

SamTheMan

OP

17

beekeeper_

You could obviously use their past as a pretty accurate indication of what they will be like in future.

or what kind of person they are, how they perceive sex: more as something they do with someone they love or just something they do for fun.

Reply 6

Luize

13

I wouldn't really mind, as it's there past after all.
If they had slept with them unprotected I would mind. (obvisouly unless it was a long standing relationship and they were both clean) But if I knew they were clean I would be happy.
What they did in that past is none of my business.

Reply 7

kokopops

10

SamTheMan

or what kind of person they are, how they perceive sex: more as something they do with someone they love or just something they do for fun.

i know thats how i would see it ... if someone sleeps around a lot then it would say to me, that sex for that person wasnt for a relationship, but for fun.

Reply 8

SamTheMan

OP

17

Luize

What they did in that past is none of my business.

What kind of relationship are we talking about? If it's just a relationship, for the sake of it, just for fun, so you have someone, maybe their past is too personal.

But when you're in a really serious relationship and you might have strong feelings for that person, how can the past not count? Surely you've been with a person you're so into, you want to know absolutely everything?

Reply 9

Luize

13

kokopops

i know thats how i would see it ... if someone sleeps around a lot then it would say to me, that sex for that person wasnt for a relationship, but for fun.

Can sex not be fun and for a relationship?
sex is fun. But relationships are hard to come by. If someone sleeps around and will have sex with anything that has 2 legs then there is a reason to be wary about their commitment. But just having quite a few partners who they were in a relationship with is different. Or even having 1-2 one night stands.
sex is what you make it and you can make it different each time.
Also I've always believed there is a difference between sex and making love.

Reply 10

MissisKate

If you knew the people they'd had sex with then that would be weird.

Reply 11

kokopops

10

Luize

Can sex not be fun and for a relationship?
sex is fun. But relationships are hard to come by. If someone sleeps around and will have sex with anything that has 2 legs then there is a reason to be wary about their commitment. But just having quite a few partners who they were in a relationship with is different. Or even having 1-2 one night stands.
sex is what you make it and you can make it different each time.
Also I've always believed there is a difference between sex and making love.

what you're saying is true and everything, but personally for me i couldnt sleep with someone who i didnt love

Reply 12

MissisKate

Luize

Can sex not be fun and for a relationship?
sex is fun. But relationships are hard to come by. If someone sleeps around and will have sex with anything that has 2 legs then there is a reason to be wary about their commitment. But just having quite a few partners who they were in a relationship with is different. Or even having 1-2 one night stands.
sex is what you make it and you can make it different each time.
Also I've always believed there is a difference between sex and making love.

Totally agree with your last sentence there. :smile:

Reply 13

Luize

13

SamTheMan

What kind of relationship are we talking about? If it's just a relationship, for the sake of it, just for fun, so you have someone, maybe their past is too personal.

But when you're in a really serious relationship and you might have strong feelings for that person, how can the past not count? Surely you've been with a person you're so into, you want to know absolutely everything?

In a really serious relationship the past does count a little bit, but I wouldn't decide to break up with them if I found out they had had lots of one night stands in the past. It was their choice.
I have been with someone who I wanted to know everything about but I also respect their privacy. If I had been with someone long enough to know that I really like them, then I would have to be comfortable with them, and if I was sexually active with them I would want to know if they were clean. If they aren't, how they got the infection or disease may worry me. But I woudln't let it effect the relationship.

Reply 14

Mad Vlad

19

To me it might... I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone vastly more experienced than me. I would also begin to question their motives within a relationship.

Reply 15

naivesincerity

2

rt6

I guess it would bother me. I wouldnt like the idea of knowing my girlfriend has already slept with other people. But thats just me :smile:

Its inevitable at a certain age that a new GF will have slept with others..this i dont mind...but if she was sex obsessed and a promiscuous tart i would

Reply 16

SamTheMan

OP

17

naivesincerity

Its inevitable at a certain age that a new GF will have slept with others..this i dont mind...but if she was sex obsessed and a promiscuous tart i would

that would mean that it's bad to like sex a lot if you're a girl though.

Reply 17

Chardonnay

SamTheMan

that would mean that it's bad to like sex a lot if you're a girl though.

Ah, those wonderful double standards of society!

Reply 18

amo1

14

Chardonnay

Ah, those wonderful double standards of society!

thats just the way it is, breaks into song

Reply 19

naivesincerity

2

SamTheMan

that would mean that it's bad to like sex a lot if you're a girl though.

I did not say if you are a girl! That kind of girl wouldnt appeal to me, but also If i spent all my time being empty headed and sex obsessed/promiscuous, i know, from experience that i would not feel good about myself

Does a partner's sexual past matter?

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