anorexic ... ?

Hi. Here is the story in brief:

A friend and I used to eat outside during lunch hours. I would take a sandwich or anything else I could afford, whilse my friend would either take nothing (most of the time) or a bag of sweets/chocolates/biscuits/greasy pizza. I can't say that my diet was the best, but my friend's was even worse. At one stage it became rediculous, and even after sports they wouldnt eat anything.

Anyhoo, I decided to go back to the cantine cos I was sick of eating the same boring thing outside. My friend also joined me. I thought that they would start eating. I can't say they dont, but let's say they really dont eat much. I feel awful when all that food is thrown away. To make things worse, they are vegetarian (which doesnt prevent them from eating at the cantine) but means that let's be honest their diet is unbalanced (im not saying vegetarians are unheathly, but in this case, this person is because they dont try anything). When they eat yoghurt, its kinda disgusting cos it stay in their mouth for ages and they speak with it in their mouth. They really seem to be struggling. I just swallow it in one go! People call them anorexic because of this (may they are ...)

We are both in our teens and now is the time our bodies finish growing. I am tall and relatively fit, whereas they are small(est and lightest in the year), weak and get into a sweat at the littlest exercise.

I really dont know what to do. Maybe the best thing is to talk to them, but I know they would feel offended. I know that their diet/lifestyle is also due to religion and so I do not really want to interfere (some of the things she does/says I find rediculous but dont want to get involved).

Don't get me wrong, I do not hate this person at all and am not trying to gossip about them, but am just a bit concerned.

Thanx

Reply 1

anita_xx

You need to try and speak to your friend. Don't make it sound like you're being nosy, just say that you care about him/her and are worried that they're not looking after themselves. Say that all you want to do is help, that you're willing to support them, maybe by helping them to talk to their parents if you think that would help.

Above all, *don't* gossip about them to your other friends - it will belittle them and make it sound like you're all ganging up. Good luck.

Reply 2

missex

poor poor girl. i have two mates who are anorexic and one builimic. its hard cos if you say ANYTHING they freak out....but sometimes they just dont know what they are doing, ie they are in control by not eating. if it is possible to go yourself to a school counsellor and tell her your dilemma and mention no names and ask them for actual advice on the situation -they are trained! i did this and found this helped as i had no idea on what to say .... it is situation specific tho.

good luck for the both of you!

Reply 3

charlottehoney

May be approaching the subject in a less direct way by saying 'What's your fav food?' (and then suggesting going out for a meal sum where that sells that) or something. I was sort of anerxic at a time, I never had to be hospitalised or anything but I was bullied and it made me nervous, so nervous I couldn't bring my self to eat anything and then the less you eat the less you want to eat.

Approach it with care, but I'd say deffo say something...but that's just my opinion

Reply 4

saz_1989

Try to get her to open up to you. At least then you can support her without having to be indirect.

Reply 5

No Future

Just be subtle about it, you don't need to be too direct about it and mention the actual words, those can be scary - don't say "anorexia" or "eating disorder". Just let your friend know that you care, that you'll support them and that they can talk to you any time. If you say the words, they might get defensive and feel as if they are being attacked/accused. Rather irrational, yes, but that's often how it is. I don't know how they feel, but most EDed people would find it hard to open up.

ETA: Don't try to force them to eat, follow them to the bathroom etc, they'll cotton on and become even more paranoid that everyone's out to get them/make them fat.

ETA 2: Try not to comment too much on their weight - that's a sensitive issue too, obviously. It sounds strange, but if you say they're too thin they'll either think you're lying because you want to make them fat, or you're taking the piss, or something else.

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