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dont know if this shud b in this room but oh well
i just need to de stress a lil bit this is about an issue with a friend and i was just wondering if anyone has any advice bout where i went wrong or if i did.

My m8 is clinically depressed, she cuts herself realli bad and has panic attacks, she ended up in hospital cos of it. she was seein this lad at the tym, who was a druggie, and blamed him 4 her probs, so she chucked im afta she got outta hospital. neway that didnt solve her problem an she now blames all her closest m8s thats me and 5 other girls 4 her probs sayin that we leave her out.

one day we went shoppin me, my depressed m8 and anutha girl and were tryin 2 include depressed m8 but as she is a mosher she h8s girly clothes shops so its hard. neway we went into dottie ps to buy a dress and she went 2 HMV. we were a bit longer than expected an also went 2 miss selfridge an bay b4 fonin ma m8 2 cum and join us, we did this cos we didint want 2 take her in any more girly shops as she was gettin p***** off, so we were bout an hour, we foned her up an she ad a massive go at us sayin that its obvious that we didnt wanna b wiv her an were lookin 4 an excuse 2 get rid of her, she aint spoken 2 us since.

there is more than that aswell but that is the general gist of the situation, so ne advice. :mad:

Reply 1

viviki

14

don't use txt spk is my advice.

Reply 2

Sam_B

14

well from what i understood from that :rolleyes:

give her some time, she will probably come around.

or just explain to her next time u see her that u didnt mean to her her feelings etc

Reply 3

wanderlusted

rachelrainbow32

dont know if this shud b in this room but oh well
i just need to de stress a lil bit this is about an issue with a friend and i was just wondering if anyone has any advice bout where i went wrong or if i did.

My m8 is clinically depressed, she cuts herself realli bad and has panic attacks, she ended up in hospital cos of it. she was seein this lad at the tym, who was a druggie, and blamed him 4 her probs, so she chucked im afta she got outta hospital. neway that didnt solve her problem an she now blames all her closest m8s thats me and 5 other girls 4 her probs sayin that we leave her out.

one day we went shoppin me, my depressed m8 and anutha girl and were tryin 2 include depressed m8 but as she is a mosher she h8s girly clothes shops so its hard. neway we went into dottie ps to buy a dress and she went 2 HMV. we were a bit longer than expected an also went 2 miss selfridge an bay b4 fonin ma m8 2 cum and join us, we did this cos we didint want 2 take her in any more girly shops as she was gettin p***** off, so we were bout an hour, we foned her up an she ad a massive go at us sayin that its obvious that we didnt wanna b wiv her an were lookin 4 an excuse 2 get rid of her, she aint spoken 2 us since.

there is more than that aswell but that is the general gist of the situation, so ne advice. :mad:

This should be in the Health and Relationship forum.

Just keep trying to talk to her, she's obviously confused and very unhappy. When she's ready to talk I'm sure she'll come to you, just be patient. :smile:

Reply 4

annabellewalter

1

Should really be in health and reltionships? But that's not the point. You need to be painfully patient with her. There are some useful links on my other thread
'mental health matters' for people coping with others with depression. How about ringing a mental health line like 'Mind' and asking them. Be honest and supportive towards her, and I know this is hard, and ultimately she may end up rejecting you. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault that she is ill. And hopefully she will come to realise that in time. Hold on in, PM me if you need any more help.

Reply 5

rachelrainbow32

OP

2

i cudnt find the health and relationship forum, where is it

oh yeh i forgot 2 ad a bit, i tried 2 tlk 2 her and she just said that she didnt care anymore and told me that i was trying to loose her and i didnt like her, because, of course, she can read my mind much better than i can

Reply 6

annabellewalter

1

I know it's easy to get angry with her, but it's important that you don't.

Home > health and relationships

Reply 7

peppermint_patt

1

any more numbers in that post and you could be a calculator.

don't use text speak...doesn't really encourage people to read it...

either ignore her, and let her sort herself out, or just be very patient...there's not a lot else you can do.

Reply 8

RobbieC

15

I don't think you did anything wrong as such, but I would feel similar if I were that other girl... though I would probably not stop talking to you and might have just gone home by myself for a while...

I think it was perhaps insensitive to take her out somewhere like that, and being friends you obviously have some things in common. So why not just ask her to do something you might both enjoy next time, and when its something she wont like.. then maybe dont ask her to come.. After saying how much she hated this one, she cant really complain.

I hope you work things out. Your friend is obviously quite sad and confused, and so she needs you... even if its hard to get through to her!

Reply 9

The Crow

1

i knew someone that was exactly like that- she had a really hot guy- and dropped him, for the same reasons, and she basically lost all her friends. but in the end there wasnt anything anyone could do- she needed to work through her problems alone. all you can really do is try to be there for her but not take anything she says to heart...
which is pretty hard on you.

Reply 10

Niaya

13

let your friend know your there if they wanna talk but dont keep asking if there ok to be honest you were abit selfish to invite your friend shoppin when you knew you were going to shops they didnt like

Reply 11

kateington

Well I'm not clinically depressed and I certainly don't cut myself, but if you'd left me on my own in town for an hour without saying you would be late, I'd be hella pissed off too!!!

Reply 12

realicetic

1

I have depression, and strangely at the mo i feel just like ur friend. Depression causes paranoia. Often when u are depressed (though not all the time) the seretonin levels in the brain are low. These chemicals play a major role in the brains making sense of things. Therefore if they are messed up u often interpret things wrong. no matter how many times people tell u ur speaking crap u dont believe them.
The best best best advice i can give u is to persevere with ur friend. do not by any means show u are angry or upset with her. This will intensify the depresion and make her feel guilty. it sounds really petty but make sure you are constantly making the effort to involve her even though its difficult. however it is important to carry on as you normally would. dont treat her any differently than u used to; fussing can make things worse.
As for the self harm, what ever u do DONT tell her to stop. this is the worst advice anyone could ever give. if she could stop she would have done already. If some one tells her to stop, she will cut herself somewhere where other people cannot see and feel guilty. she has to stop in her own time. be reassured that self harm is not a suicide attempt. it is often the only alternative.
i hope this has helped. if u need any more personal advice PM me
:smile:

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