Sex after Marriage

Do people these days always go into relationships expecting sex, at least before getting married to that person? Just wanted to know how many of you would actually go out with someone who did not believe in sex before marriage. Would be a problem as you would see it as a dead end relationship, or would you respect their views and perhpas respect them for it too. Can a relationship really work and become close with no sex invloved?

Reply 1

NDGAARONDI

16

Nina166

Just wanted to know how many of you would actually go out with someone who did not believe in sex before marriage.

As I don't believe in marriage in the Christian sense I would say no, otherwise yes.

why wouldnt you?

OP

NDGAARONDI

As I don't believe in marriage in the Christian sense I would say no, otherwise yes.

So you also want to wait until after marriage? Phew, I swear I thought I was one of the only ones nowadays that dont believe in sex before marriage!

Reply 4

Nina166

OP

2

why wouldnt you?

No I wouldn't. And I have been in 2 short relationships, and although one guy respected me for my beliefs, it was obvious that he was lookin for a sexual relationship, We were together for 2 months, before he strated tellin me he didn't wanna settle down just yet, he's only 18 and wants to experience life. Well, I totally understand where he's comin from, but I was just wondering if there are any guys/gals out there who feel the same as me..or have been in the same kinda situations.

Reply 5

SamTheMan

17

Nina166

Do people these days always go into relationships expecting sex, at least before getting married to that person? Just wanted to know how many of you would actually go out with someone who did not believe in sex before marriage. Would be a problem as you would see it as a dead end relationship, or would you respect their views and perhpas respect them for it too. Can a relationship really work and become close with no sex invloved?

Sex after marriage? Is that morally correct? Don't people get married to stop doing all that dirty stuff?

Reply 6

Nina166

OP

2

SamTheMan

Sex after marriage? Is that morally correct? Don't people get married to stop doing all that dirty stuff?

hahahah

Reply 7

NDGAARONDI

16

Nina166

So you also want to wait until after marriage?

Yeah but then I don't wish to get married.

Reply 8

Nina166

OP

2

NDGAARONDI

Yeah but then I don't wish to get married.

so basically you don't want to wait? I'm confused sorry..

Reply 9

NDGAARONDI

16

Nina166

so basically you don't want to wait? I'm confused sorry..

I'm not bothered about sex to be honest. :smile:

Reply 10

Sugar_Puff_Fairy

13

While I respect anyone who does not want to have sex before marriage, it's not my ideal life plan! I don't think i could be with someone who believed in this because I don't want to get married for a lonnnnnnng time, and I also don't want to live without for long....

Reply 11

need_money

9

I wouldn't. I'm not against their beliefs, support it for them even, but for me, going out with someone who wouldn't ever have sex without being married would be impossible to live with...faithfully.

Reply 12

SamTheMan

17

Nina166

hahahah

When you're a kid, you'd rather not think about your parents ever.... Oh no! I can't bear thinking about it!

Reply 13

Sugar_Puff_Fairy

13

I agree need_money, I know sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but it is very important to me... other people can do as they please but so will I!!

Reply 14

Alewhey

Wow.. fair enough anyone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage, but how many people who think that have been in a loving, long-term (but unmarried) relationship? I don't think I could get into an LTR with a girl without havng sex with her, its a very important and intimate part of a relationship. Just because you have sex before marriage, does not mean that the sex has to be 'sordid' or 'slutty' in any way.

99% of the population want sex (I would say 'all' but would doubtless get some objections) - that is just good biology. If you refuse to have sex until marriage, don't you think this is more likely to make you attempt to settle down and marry quite quickly so you can 'do the deed'? After all, not even that long ago people waited for marriage as a matter of routine, and married a lot earlier because of it.

I don't have a problem with people who genuinely want to wait 'till marriage as a matter of principle, but a lot of the people who say things like that are taking a 'holier than thou' attitude and end up having pre-marital sex once they get into a genuinely loving and fulfilling relationship, and realise that pre-marital sex isn't as bad as they thought.

Reply 15

SamTheMan

17

Alewhey

Wow.. fair enough anyone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage, but how many people who think that have been in a loving, long-term (but unmarried) relationship? I don't think I could get into an LTR with a girl without havng sex with her, its a very important and intimate part of a relationship. Just because you have sex before marriage, does not mean that the sex has to be 'sordid' or 'slutty' in any way.

Sure it's important but when you decide before the relationship, that you'll be wanting to have sex, that sounds a bit superficial. Maybe it's a bit too idealistic and hypocritical but I like to believe I'd be able to be with someone without sex being a necessity.
When you have sex early on in a relationship, it's hard to realise if you're with the person for the sex/routine, or because you truly care for that person.

Reply 16

Harv616

9

Well i would since sex doesnt matter that much, its all scarey and stressful.......

Reply 17

Nina166

OP

2

Alewhey

Wow.. fair enough anyone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage, but how many people who think that have been in a loving, long-term (but unmarried) relationship? I don't think I could get into an LTR with a girl without havng sex with her, its a very important and intimate part of a relationship. Just because you have sex before marriage, does not mean that the sex has to be 'sordid' or 'slutty' in any way.

99% of the population want sex (I would say 'all' but would doubtless get some objections) - that is just good biology. If you refuse to have sex until marriage, don't you think this is more likely to make you attempt to settle down and marry quite quickly so you can 'do the deed'? After all, not even that long ago people waited for marriage as a matter of routine, and married a lot earlier because of it.

I don't have a problem with people who genuinely want to wait 'till marriage as a matter of principle, but a lot of the people who say things like that are taking a 'holier than thou' attitude and end up having pre-marital sex once they get into a genuinely loving and fulfilling relationship, and realise that pre-marital sex isn't as bad as they thought.

I understand that 99% of the population, 100% of the poplation want sex, it is a natural thing. But in my experience most of my friends who have had sex before marriage always end up being the ones who are most hurt. I am not saying that marriage is the only way you can commit to someone, some people have very commited relationships outside marriage. Nonetheless, to me sex is more than just a little fun, or something to be taken lightly. Some would say that is rubbish and that I should lighten up, but what's wrong with being precauscious? I think that it should only be undertaken when two people are fully commited to eachother, and to me that is throigh marriage, but I understand that's not the only way.
Yes, being young is about having fun and being carefree, but the added pressure and pain that comes out of a sexual relationship once it is ended just says it makes more sense to wait until I'm ready and committed. Then even if the marriage breaks up, I know it wasn't just a fling, or just a crush, and there was love. And saving sex until after marriage I think encourages a more faithful marriage, because it means both couples would not jump into bed with strangers as easily

Reply 18

Helenia

20

It's a nice idea, saving yourself for marriage. But in reality I think it's not going to work in most cases. A huge percentage (can't remember how many) of American teenagers taking the True Love Waits pledge end up breaking it, and even though I said when I was 14 that I would wait, now I really don't think I would.

Looking at it practically (whether you disagree with this or not is another matter) - even if I meet the right person, which I may well not, I don't want to get married until I graduate and am qualified. That's not for AT LEAST another 5 years. That's a long time to be with someone in every way except for sexually. And what would happen if after all that time you found you just weren't compatible together? I'd like to think that the relationship would be strong enough to get past that, but it would be somewhat...unfulfilling.

But I do agree that sex should be a part of a relationship, not the reason for it.

Reply 19

Shivvy

ive always said i would wait for the man im goign to marry and i am. ive been with m bf for 2 years almost and we are gettin married in a few years and im 18 and hes 25 and totaly respects and agrees with me that we shud wait for sex after marriage. he has slept with other girls tho in his time at uni. i kno im goign to marry him so why dont i do it now? thoguth about it but i think theres other things that matter than sex. doign it on the wedding nite will be much mroe memorable. we are managing just fine to be together but not havign sex.

Sex after Marriage

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