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It isn't an affair but it's still betrayal watch

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    Ok, I've been mulling this over my mind for months. I really, honestly don't know what to do, because it feels I can't say anything about it anyone, nor hidner it in any way.
    A few months ago I realised my dad is accessing porn on the internet. It has completely deflated any respect I had for him - I am both sickened and angry over this. Sometimes he fails to delete it from browsing history, and that is how I came to know.
    I've sort of become his stooge because when he doesn't delete it, I end up doing it for him. However, part of me wants to leave it there in the hope that my mum will see it. I feel she has to know, because although it isn't an affair as such, I feel it is a betrayal. But then I fear for her feelings, and that my younger sister might find it.

    It's just such a weight on my shoulders and I don't know what to do. Possibly he's lonely and going through a midlife crisis, but I can't muster much sympathy for him. It's disgusting to me.
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    Its just porn, get over it.
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    I'm sorry but it is just porn.

    He isn't cheating. Would your mother really be so bothered?
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    TBH you'd be pretty hard pressed to find a man who doesn't watch it, although he does have to be more careful about deleting the evidence for the sake of you and your sister.
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    Every guy watches porn, whether they are in a relationship or not, it's nothing.
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    most blokes do it. it's not betrayal. get over it
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    Found out about my dad a couple of years ago too. Told my mom. He denied it, she ignored it.
    Still slightly traumatised by it...
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    Oh... my... god, a guy who watches porn... shocker! :eek:

    It is pretty horrible to realise your mum and dad both masturbate though
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    OH MY GOD PORNOGRAPHY HOW DISGUSTING

    Everyone *****, even your dad. Sorry.
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    All right, everyone seems unanimous... I just don't understand it. My dad is an intelligent man, I can't see how he'd watch something so sexist and repugnant and unappealing. I'm really surprised at all this feedback. I always thought porn was for pubescent boys and men with no social lives.
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    How do you know your mum doesn't already know? It's not a big deal anyway.
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    no, it's part of a man's life. and not many think about the sexist implications when watching porn, they just want to see some flange
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    your mum probably knows....most women know there partners masterbate n a large no. resort 2 porn...but i know how you must feel...just try to block it out of your mind
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    My dad watches it too. Its gross to think about it but it doesn't mean he doesn't love his partener, it just means he likes a little "me time" too.

    Don't forget girls watch porn too. It isn't just a "man thing".
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    He's watching it 'cos he's in the videos.... :ninja:
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    Your mum and dad probably watched it together.
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    (Original post by booksnob)
    All right, everyone seems unanimous... I just don't understand it. My dad is an intelligent man, I can't see how he'd watch something so sexist and repugnant and unappealing. I'm really surprised at all this feedback. I always thought porn was for pubescent boys and men with no social lives.
    It's for men and women of all ages It's a universal thing. By the way, how do you know it's your dads porn and not your mums? Or even your sisters?
    • #2
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    I had a similar situation, except it was violent porn. Women on stakes and stuff. Not nice.
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    (Original post by booksnob)
    All right, everyone seems unanimous... I just don't understand it. My dad is an intelligent man, I can't see how he'd watch something so sexist and repugnant and unappealing. I'm really surprised at all this feedback. I always thought porn was for pubescent boys and men with no social lives.

    I'm afraid not.

    I can understand your upset over this situation, I know I wouldn't like to find myself in it.

    But honestly, like everyone else has said, it's normal - as long as it's just regular adult consenting porn, he's not exactly breaking the law.

    As for you feeling as though it's a betrayal toward your mum - it's not, most people are likely to be resigned to the fact their partners do it!

    As an idea to get him to sharpen up on his deleting history patter, I wonder are there any other guys in your house around an age where they'd be watching it other than your dad? If so, you could mention to your dad you think they might be looking at it, in which case he might straighten up his act a bit.

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon!
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    [QUOTE=wildcat123]
    As an idea to get him to sharpen up on his deleting history patter, I wonder are there any other guys in your house around an age where they'd be watching it other than your dad? If so, you could mention to your dad you think they might be looking at it, in which case he might straighten up his act a bit.
    QUOTE]

    I'm afraid not, but that's a nice idea anyway.

    About it being my mum, that is very unlikely! There is a possibility that she knows, sure, but I can't see her taking it too well!
 
 
 
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