Facing life as a cripple? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
So I've got a major operation coming up, to correct a problem I've had for a while. This could go one of two ways, I could either be fully healed, or I could be permanently crippled, or somewhere in between.

I'm not one for moping around the place, or to worry, but I'll admit I'm scared. I'm nineteen. I have plans for my life which don't involve my legs being knackered by the time I'm twenty. Neither am I one to moan about the unfairness of life, but in this case, I'm exceptionally pissed off. It's not fair.

I smoke, I drink to excess, and I take part in a variety of hazardous and 'extreme' activities that could all lead to my death or permanent injury, but all these things are supposed to catch up with me when I'm in my seventies, not before I've even lived my life. As a great man once said, there are some pleasures worth shortening life for, but mine has barely even begun.

I know I should be grateful for what I've got, and for the fact that I'm not some starving kid in Africa, but I really couldn't care less right now. I've spent far too long putting myself out for others, so now is the time to wallow in a wee bit of self pity.

I appreciate this isn't so much of a topic for discussion as a self-pitying moan, but it makes me feel a tad better.

So basically, how can a confident, fit, intelligent bloke come to terms with the fact that he may never be able to go down the path he wants to go in life, get the job he wants, and accept that all he's ever worked towards and all he's ever wanted may never come about?

It's a hell of a thought. Thanks for your time.
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zazzler
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#2
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Tough luck huh?
But its more like u were sorta inviting this to happen to u..(no offence) "I smoke, I drink to excess, and I take part in a variety of hazardous and 'extreme' activities that could all lead to my death or permanent injury"

But since this is not the time to look back, u need to keep moving forward..
Whatever happens, be ready to come to terms with it.. What happens in life is not as important as how u accept it

I think you're already doing great, and its okay to complain once in a while as long as you dun let it get u.

Instead of thinking of what u cant have, look on the bright side of the things.. (Like the starving kid)
Smile because things could have been much worse.

Best of luck! Hopefully it will go alright.
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inksplodge
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#3
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If it happens, it can only make you stronger! You'll find ways to overcome it.
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johnbrown
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#4
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Good luck with your operation
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Clubber Lang
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#5
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Thats sad to hear, hope it goes well

What are the odds?
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Barry Chuckle
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#6
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what the surgery for?
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calvinuk
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#7
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(Original post by zazzler)
Tough luck huh?
But its more like u were sorta inviting this to happen to u..(no offence) "I smoke, I drink to excess, and I take part in a variety of hazardous and 'extreme' activities that could all lead to my death or permanent injury"

Eh, that makes no sense...

I'm sure if any one of those things had attributed to the fact that he needs the operation, he would have accepted his fate easier.
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EskimoJo
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Maybe you shouldn't worry too much about a worst case scenario when it might not even happen.

But good luck with the operation and I hope you recover well from it, whatever the outcome.
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MrColin
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I've got a major operation coming up, to correct a problem I've had for a while. This could go one of two ways, I could either be fully healed, or I could be permanently crippled, or somewhere in between.
Isnt that more that 2 ways it could go!

Sort it out mate!!!!
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Not Invented Yet
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#10
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What specifically are your plans for career, travel etc? There are a lot of things you can do even from a wheelchair... but I'm guessing it's probably a minimal risk anyway because surely the doctors wouldn't do it if there was a significant chance of it having that kind of effect? Worrying about it certainly won't change the outcome, so there's not much point in it. (I know telling yourself that doesn't actually stop you from worrying, but still).
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zazzler
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(Original post by calvinuk)
Eh, that makes no sense...

I'm sure if any one of those things had attributed to the fact that he needs the operation, he would have accepted his fate easier.
oh
my bad then
sorry
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calvinuk
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#12
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(Original post by zazzler)
oh
my bad then
sorry
No need to apologise, though.
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zazzler
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#13
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(Original post by calvinuk)
No need to apologise, though.
im apologisin OP.. and how abt thanks for u?
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RoosterUK
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#14
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Good luck with the operation. Try not to think about the worst case scenario, if it happens it happens but it's no use worrying about it until/unless it does
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Mr. MadMonkey
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#15
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While it's no consollation or anything, you've already got the right viewpoint to be able to see past this.

While you're young, you take full advantage of your body. Looking back is for when you're older.

If the worst happens, unless that attitude's just something you're putting on, I don't see this as something to stop you enjoying life to the fullest extent, and too rightly. I have a friend in a wheelchair. Admittedly it brings one or two complications, yes. But he doesn't get down about it. He enjoys life properly, as he should. He jokes about it and everything. To him, it's no different than saying "Hah, I'm awful at maths" or something.

I wouldn't worry too much. However it goes, you should be fine.
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
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Thanks for the replies and kind wishes.

Yes, Calvin has it spot on. I don't want to give too much away, or it would be obvious who I am, but if I had been injured actually doing any of the less than safe things I do, it would be a lot easier to take. The ironic thing is it was a stupid accident unconnected with any of them! I've got about half a dozen foreign objects embedded in and around my kneecap, which have been there for 6 months. After the accident, I had discomfort and hadn't got full mobility back, but I put it down to the impact. A few days ago I could barely walk, so went to my GP who sent me for an x-ray, where I saw all the bits in my knee. Quite a shock, especially since the largest one is about the size of my thumbnail and it's pressing on the back of my kneecap.

Doctors said they need to get a camera in before they can decide what to do, and won't give me any guarantees about either the likelihood of success or making a full recovery and they don't seem very hopeful. As I said, I lead a very active lifestyle and going from that to barely being able to get about on crutches has given my confidence a real knock, especially since there is no guarantee of improvement and the career I'm going for have very stringent medical checks and regulations. I've been classed as 'urgent' on the NHS waiting list, but I have no idea how long it will be.

To be honest, I'm just feeling very vulnerable and alone right now, feelings that I can't put aside like I usually do.

Thanks.
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zazzler
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#17
Report 9 years ago
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Aww.. thats hard, but quoting inksplodge "it will only make u stronger" (though that may not be much of a help now)
share ur feelings with friends and family. U probably dont want to talk about it much with them, but then again, dun shut out everyone else in ur life.
Think positive and believe that watever happens, its not gonna put u down.
GL
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ejay023
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#18
Report 9 years ago
#18
It's not that big a deal. Remember, there're people who lose their sight. There're people who get paralysed from the neck down and cannot move even their arms. Being paralysed from the waist down is so common, it's pretty much normal. Trust me there're groups you'd be able to join and make friend with people with the same disability, I've even seen Wheelchair basketball and stuff like that, the Paralympics... I wish you all the best + hope your operation is a success but please dont be afraid if it isn't, you'll adapt + be your same old self. Good luck
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